On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Tim Henson Vs. The Calendar | 2:58.000 |
| The Time Fat Albert Dealt With The Mentally Handicapped | 6:30.000 |
| National Anthem Fail | 15:52.000 |
| More Attempts At Disturb’s Down With The Sickness | 19:08.000 |
| Steve Harvey Tells Us How To Become Millionaires | 20:18.000 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 26:06.000 |
| Pizza: The Sensible Breakfast | 27:36.000 |
| Flamethrowing Swastika Headed Psycho On The Loose | 32:40.000 |
| Diarrhea Vacation Scam Backfires | 35:22.833 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 40:26.988 |
