On Today’s Show –
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Meade Skelton At The Doomsday Prepper Convention | 2:03.807 |
| Semen Retention: Hoarding Your Spunk Supply | 11:22.529 |
| Dissecting The F-Word | 18:30.376 |
| Gold Digger Wants Her Ex To Keep Paying For Her Lifestyle | 24:07.771 |
| Justin Bieber Confronts Annoying Fans | 27:37.217 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow Today! | 30:25.143 |
| Ring-O Cock Rings | 31:26.921 |
| Tiddlywink Lodged In Her Hole | 34:39.838 |
| Spicy Chicken Shootout | 38:37.009 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 41:25.591 |
