On Today’s Show
| Introduction | 0:00.036 |
| Calls From Narcissists | 2:22.448 |
| Victoria Secret Karen Update | 12:57.984 |
| Pennywise Is Real And Will Stab You In The Asshole | 14:22.444 |
| From Cat Fucking To Communist Propaganda | 17:47.660 |
| Kicked Off A Cruise Due To COVID | 22:25.835 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 26:19.940 |
| Accusing A Stranger Of Stealing Your Phone | 27:43.347 |
| Celebrating With A Flare Up The Butt | 32:49.209 |
| Pickle Pumping In The Pooper | 37:01.865 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 41:27.470 |
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