On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Visiting Mom This Weekend | 2:03.939 |
| Obese Woman Who Urinates On Her Floor | 6:28.894 |
| Pikachu Is An Accessory To Human Trafficking | 12:57.499 |
| Real Cash For Virtual Furry Hugs | 17:24.659 |
| Microsoft Employees Introduce Themselves | 21:04.359 |
| 6 Foot Showdown At The Grocery Store | 23:36.309 |
| Support Distorted View Daily! | 27:32.542 |
| No Sharing The Sex Toy | 28:47.722 |
| A Dick Measuring Life Hack | 33:10.089 |
| Meet Potato Doug | 36:20.687 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 40:15.882 |
