On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| The DV Store Is Back! | 2:03.038 |
| My Sleep Apnea Appointment | 6:12.014 |
| Meade’s Angry Christmas Classic | 10:04.038 |
| Trans Gamer Livestream Freakout | 13:15.432 |
| Great Big Pete Shaves And Shits On A Chest | 16:24.639 |
| City Council Public Comments Get Musical! | 18:37.685 |
| Vaginal Horror Stories From Nurses | 21:01.832 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 25:54.965 |
| Cracking Down On Camel Botox | 27:26.625 |
| Bad Grades Make Kids Feel Bad 🙁 | 31:18.313 |
| Twins Attempt Synchronized Insemination | 37:01.114 |
| Voicemails / Ending | 43:55.103 |
