On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Meade’s Veiny Colon | 2:11.519 |
| Jesse Lee Peterson Doesn’t Get Sex / Is Against The Female Orgasm | 8:39.023 |
| A Canadian Police Fingering Goes Wrong | 14:06.273 |
| Linda Finkle Hall Of Fame Nominees | 22:27.634 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 26:36.731 |
| Smearing Dog Poop On Your Critics | 28:17.466 |
| Setting Your Car On Fire To Avoid Break Ins | 32:31.313 |
| Turns Out Someone Accused Of Dismemberment May Be A Little Nutty | 35:20.869 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 39:11.677 |
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