On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Crucified Christmas Songs | 2:05.076 |
| Anime Nerd Tries To Virtually Squid Hump | 6:04.141 |
| Screaming Banshee Hits Another Man’s Car and Proceeds To Lose Her Mind | 12:28.461 |
| The Skillful Art Of Cum Walking | 20:23.484 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 27:01.929 |
| Getting Explosives Stuck Up Your Butt | 28:23.102 |
| Avoid Getting The COVID Vaccine By Presenting A Fake Arm | 32:36.029 |
| Passed Out, Puked, and Pooped On At Her Wedding | 35:42.357 |
| Voicemails / Ending | 39:57.487 |
