On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Steven Asanti Is Trysexual | 4:55.029 |
| Cockroach And Mice Infested House Of The 1000lb Sisters | 10:10.328 |
| A Woman Suffering From Every Mental Illness And a Few Drug Addictions | 16:31.817 |
| Weak-Stomached Man Finds Poop In A Toilet | 23:19.854 |
| Wank Bank Voicemail Calls | 25:34.473 |
| The Distorted View Store Is Open! | 31:33.219 |
| The Greasy Ass Bandit Has Been Caught | 32:44.875 |
| Stealing Your Daughters Identity To Screw Like A 22 Year Old | 35:54.035 |
| Hot To Kill Geese The Wrong Way | 41:36.793 |
| Voicemails / Ending | 45:41.374 |
