Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!
Every week I read you some weird, poorly written, or just plain gross erotic fiction.
Back in 2012, I let you freaks pick which sex story I would read by voting in a poll. Back then I read the winning story, and today on Crude Summer I replay that piece of shitty erotic fiction. I also tracked down the story that did NOT win the poll. I also read that story to you today! Both are heavy on poop-play, so that skeeves you out, you might want to pass on this episode. Fucking light-weight! Thanks to LVL80CatLady for the amazing album artwork! Check her out on Twitter BE A PART OF THIS STUPIDITY: Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: show@distortedview.com – Say hi, suggest news stories, videos, audio, etc. Discord: The DV discord server! Chat with like-minded monsters. The DV Subreddit: Share links to DV worthy audio/video and news stories A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon pageGet more Distorted View! Become a True and Honorable Freak: Sign Up For The Sideshow
Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:
Back in 2012 I ran a poll asking you guys which disgusting sex story would you like me to read? You chose a winner. I read that story today. We replay that one and I’m going to read you the runner up the story you never heard. I think that one might be my favorite out of the two. So the good news is one of these stories is brand new. Never been read on TV. The bad news is they’re both technically scat fetish for crude summer starts should just a few minutes distorted views crude summer is brought to you by AdamAndEve purveyors of fine handcrafted artisanal objects to cram in various buckles since 1970. Okay, I don’t think they’re handcrafted but because artisanal has no legal definition. These sex toys are totally our tiznow the widest selection of dildos vibrators and butt plugs have made Adam and Eve the number one adult toy superstore. But there’s so much more than that. 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Just remember to use coupon code freak fr e aka Adam and eve.com dd is the worst erotica found on the internet. all summer long. distorted views crude summer karmic accident. I was washing my hands when the door to the ladies room burst open it a woman in her late teens early 20s enter She didn’t wait for the door to close behind her for hiking up or down a miniskirt, exposing white cotton rose panties with pale pink elastic. She ran to the nearest cubicle. This is gonna be hard doing this voice throughout the whole thing but you know there’s their girls, her shoots clicking on the tile, the clicking echoing off the walls. She elbowed open the door pushing it’s so far back on its hinges that it banged against the wall of a cubicle in her haste. She did not bother to close the door behind her, allowing me to see her in the mirror above the wash basin. With one shaking hand. She really needed to go. With one shaking hand. She lifted the toilet lid with the other she held her skirt up. Yes, she said made it. But just as she slid her thumbs under the waistband of her panties to pull them down. There was an abrupt squelch in the crotch of apparently sad She froze. A yellow brown stain began to appear on the seat of her panties. The fishy smell of diarrhea filled the room. There’s the line. This is what made I think this story The winner, the fishy smell of diarrhea filled the room. What a way to describe shit fishy smell. Turning off the tap. I yanked a few paper towels from the dispenser on the wall. What once it began drying my hands still watching her in the mirror. Okay, I thought she was gonna be like head over there with the towels. They’ll be up your stinky panties, your shitty panties, this paper towel like it’s really it’s not your place to get involved. Yes, a frustrated growl rose in her throat drowning out the soft music playing over the PA ha No, she kicked the wall ditching the ditching the use paper towels. I picked up my handbag from the bench and slung the strap over my shoulder. just not fair. I just made it. I was so close. She screamed. I entered the cubicle and placed a hand on her shoulder again. She doesn’t want to be around anyone right now. You got shit all over as cheeks and pants and stuff. You need to calm down, sweetie. She gave a start and turn to me. I don’t know what I should be talking my normal voice in when it’s like her talking. So I guess I’m just gonna do a female voice throughout the whole thing. Fry my fucking voice today. All right. She gave a start and turn to face me. It was just an accident. Who are you? What are you doing in here? What do you want with me? My name is Jenny. And it looks to me like you need some help. For instance, I thought she was gonna yell at me and tell me to go away but leave her alone. But instead She said in a voice choked with rising emotion. And Joni. I just totally shift my talk. I’ve got a bottle of brown gravy in my panties. She’s very dim. You’re very lady like, I just shit my pants. And she began to sob I let her Wait I let her lead her head on my shoulder. She was still holding your skirt up, presumably to keep it from getting soiled though that brown grave No, no, this is gonna be a bad one free. Man every time. Every time we start doing these scat stories, I lose it. I’m like a fucking like child. poopies funny. Alright. For instance, I thought she was going to yell at me and tell me to go away and leave her alone. But instead, she said In a voice choked with rising emotion, I’m Jody. I just totally shit my pants. And she began to sob. I let her lead her head on my shoulder. She was still holding her skirt up, presumably to keep it from getting soiled. I stroked her shoulder length, dirty blonde hair. It’s gonna be okay, sweetie. It happens to everyone at some point. No, it doesn’t happen to everyone at some point. I’ve never shaved my pants like that. I’ve proved myself several times as an adult. She looked she looked up in my face with utter disbelief. I giggled hard to believe I know but it’s true. She buried her head in my shoulder again, the sobbing Sunni’s off however, and I let her pull away. What am I gonna do? her chest he was she caught her breath. How do I get cleaned up? I looked up and down. There was light soiling down the inside of her shapely upper thighs and a few drops of poop on the floor. floor. Let’s go to the handicap stall. What a shitty thing to do. What happens if a guitar needs to use the bathroom? You know, I mean there’s more room in there and there will probably be a sink in there as well. Follow me it’s just down here on the end. I held the door open for her in you go. I locked the door behind us. We’ll have you cleaned up in no time. She looked at me here early as if waiting instructions. What size are you? I’m sorry? panties. What size panties Do you wear? Oh, hi, you know off the top of my head. Turn around. I slipped my thumb and forefinger under the waistband of her panties and pull the label so I could read it. Size 14. Okay, same as me. today is your lucky day. Because I just happen to have these unzipping my handbag I produced a pair of pale blue cotton panties. She’s apparently fairy, her face lit up. I always carry a spare with me just in case. I’ve had a few bad experiences in the past. Yeah, no, no, no. Apparently, women could not hold their bowel movements. I slung the patties over the handicap rail, she kicked off her shoes. I helped her get her skirt off without soiling it and slumped out over the rail to remove your panties was more difficult. The poop was so runny. I feared that would fear that it would get all over the floor. cup your hands God. Why? They tore up several sheets of toilet paper and laid over hands to form a protective layer. Now put them under your crotch a pull down from the waistband and you hold the gusset so the pool doesn’t fall out. My brilliant plan worked. No pool leaked onto the floor. The soiling did spread further down her thighs. She stepped out of her panties. I lifted the toilet lid, she emptied the contents of her panties into the bowl and I flushed she just found To prepare he’s in the tampon, Ben. Thank you for doing this, by the way, helping me. She had a bunch of toilet paper scrunched up in her hand and was wiping the inside of her thighs. I really appreciate it I’d be lost without you. You’d figure it out you know? I mean, use toilet paper sop up all the sheds do the best you can take out the panties. It’s no problem. I just wish I’d had someone to help me the few times when I had accidents. Perhaps now that I’ve helped you next time I have an accident someone might help me karma you know what goes around comes around. I hope so. You deserve it. Fuck is the story thought about sisterhood, Eat Pray shit. Back in the story here. She wiped her vagina as best she could. But a considerable amount of fecal matter remain stuck in her pubic hair. Well, that’s it got everywhere. She then turned her efforts to her buttocks. She wiped in wipe went through sheet after sheet of toilet paper. Got poop all over her fingers. Finally she huffed. I can’t even see what I’m doing. This is gonna take forever. Here. Let me help you. Why don’t you help me with watch Why? Of course, you can’t see what you’re doing back there. And I’m here so now, I couldn’t possibly let you insist. I pulled off some toilet paper, but you’re dealing with a ship free care at this point. You should be aware of that. If someone’s wiping your ass for you. You didn’t ask for it. Come on. All right, well, okay. As I wiped gas built up in my gut, since the air was thick with the stench of Jodi’s poop. I figured she wouldn’t notice if I farted. So I did. But but it came up louder. dissipated going off the walls. Oh, excuse me, Judy. Jodi didn’t say anything. Yeah, Jodi is not in any position to be commenting judging anyone. He’s got, you know, a bunch of poop stuck in her pubic hair. Oh matted. All right. Jodi didn’t say anything didn’t even turn around just continue to stand bent over hands clutching the toilet seat. I kept wiping till she could play the paper was beginning to abrade. By this stage, I also had poop all over my fingers. There’s a trick I learned from my previous accidents. Here we go with some helpful hints. Simple living. I pulled off a fresh sheet of toilet paper, took it over to the washbasin and ran it under the tap. wetting the paper makes it softer, and helps remove any stubborn poop stains. I use that method actually. I resumed wiping Is that better? She nodded. Moments later I farted again. Oh dear me, throwing a clump of wet brown toilet paper into the toilet. I said they’re done. Oh nice and clean now. Thanks. She sniffed the air. Oh, that stinks, Jenny. Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got your shit on my fingers. You’re gonna complain about my fucking fart you bitch. You might want to try the wet toilet paper trick around front. I said, you know, to get the poop out of your pubes. Good idea. She ran some toilet paper under the tab. Leave it on. Could you please I need to wash my hands now. Oh, they’re filthy. That’s my mess. I’m sorry about the help. Don’t mention it. You know, I’ll probably be alright. Now. You got other things to do? No, no, she’s all into your shit. Now. She’s gonna see this through to the end. I feel a lot better and I’m just about all cleaned up. Well, I do need to get on with my shopping. I’m sorry. My voice keeps changing my voice. It’s hard to do a female voice for so long. I don’t know how trainees do it. I’m gonna fast forward just about paragraph or two, she leaves she leaves the girl to clean up her shit. You know she’s got her shopping to do exiting the ladies room. I took the corridor leading back to the shopping center. I felt the need to fart again and pushed hard. No sound this time, of course, but wetness bloomed between my butt cheeks. I stopped dead, clenching my ass I pinched off the gassy, liquidy stool. in denial. I put a hand up to my skirt and touch the crotch my panties, hoping to find them dry. They had to be dry. I couldn’t have put my panties just after giving away my reserve pair. Not even I could have such bad luck. When my fingers touch fabric However, they detected dampness hit I refuse to believe the signals. The nerves in my fingertips were relating to my brain. I couldn’t have had an accident. It was impossible. With mounting apprehension. I withdrew my hand from everybody’s skirt and raised it to my eye where they brown stains on my finger. I rub them together sticky. I sniffed them stinky. No, it came out as a pawlease syllabic whimper I quickly ran back to the ladies room and pounded on the door the handicap stall. Jody, are you in there? I need my daddy’s back. I shit myself. Laugh laughter erupted on the other side of the door. What are you laughing at? You ungrateful bitch. Laughter stopped abruptly. Oh, I’m sorry for blowing my top but I’m being serious. I’ve pulled my pants and I need those knickers back. Could you please pass? pass them to me under the door? I don’t know. Can’t you just go commando? No, I can’t go commando. I’m having my period. And it’s really heavy. aren’t you wearing a tampon? Well, yes, of course I’m wearing a tampon, but I have to throw it away because it’d be all shitty now. We have a pad in my handbag. For my position on the floor. I could see up skirt see the crotch of her pale blue cotton panties i given her. I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, crawled over to her and reached up pretty separate skirt for the panties, but she jumped up onto the toilet seat left over me and ran to the door. Panic. She pushed and pulled on the door but it wouldn’t open. She didn’t think to unlock it. This allowed me time to get my feet, wrapped my arms around her torso and throw her to the ground. The string caused another leak of gassy liquidy stool into my panties, whimpering. She rolled on her belly and crawled into the partition. I unlocked the door running parallel to the stalls cut her off just as she emerged from under the partition of the stall. The one of the stall she first entered the one with poop on the floor, you know, sobbing silently she got to her feet. She was smeared down the front of her top her skirt her legs, get out of my way. She screamed. I stepped aside hands in the air as if surrendering who don’t you touch me. Once you pass I came up behind in reaching up her skirt grabbed her I mean my panties and yanked down. Jody stumbled. The panties came away in my hands, but they had torn along the hip seams. Look what you’ve done, I said, pushing the torn edges together then pulling them apart, pushing them together and then pulling apart again. As if I could will them to rejoin. Now how am I gonna face my boyfriend? Well, if I have to leave here without paninis soda you absorbed in the torn panties. I didn’t notice Jody approach didn’t sensor reach up my skirt, but I didn’t feel the tug on my panties. I did hear them tear. They plopped to the floor poop splattered onto my shoe. Jodie fled. Using the torn panties. I took from Jody as a glove. I picked up my pair on the floor and carrying them at arm’s length, my nose wrinkled, disposed of both pairs of ruined panties and they in the handicap stalls tampon, Ben. It was then that I had an epiphany, Joey’s face To use Julie’s panties, they’re dirty and full of shit. Yes, but they’re still in tact. All they need is a wash. Fishing them out. Oh yeah, because they’re in the tampon bin too. I rinse them in the SIG, then run them dry. I drape them over the handicap rail, squatting on the toilet. I finished pooping, then cleaned myself up with what toilet paper. I don Jodi’s panties. Those still damp they nicely supported my fresh pad. And I left the ladies room with poop still on the floor, confident to face the world, whereas Jody, I like to think got slapped around by her boyfriend for cheating again. Wow, I didn’t realize how long that particular scout story was. And now I feel kind of bad that I’m going to read you another scout story. As I mentioned, when this sex story aired, I gave you guys a choice. And that last story was the winner. I went back I don’t know how I found this. I went back and I found the other option the runner up the Holy Book of scat. So we’re gonna read that right now. It’s a brand new story because we never ended up reading this on the show. So enjoy more poop fetish porn. In the land of panty poop, yeah, there was a winding staircase made of stone that reached up into heaven. It was forbidden from enjoy setting that stairway yet, one day, Pat spie Brown did just that. To his surprise, he met no resistance from the guardian angels that, according to legend, patrol the staircase and continued above the clouds at last coming on to a landing before him stretched a corridor with a high ceiling and high arch doors down either side. You went through the first door to his right. What are you doing in the house of the gods boom, the void Have the giant testes seated on a porcelain throne with her white panties around her ankles. Oh, forgive me divinity but I come to implore the help of the gods. There was a sound as of a mighty waterfall as the giant tests began to be whoosh What do you want? divinity, the women of our world you see there, they’re unclean, for they feel their panties with refuse. Oh that the gods would intervene and teach them to be clean. What you say displeases me that the women are unclean. Therefore, I will grant your request. I will teach them to be clean. Thank you divinity. May I ask your name? I am scat she wiped her vagina dry. with paper that she pulled from a roll mounted on the wall, we must go at once. But alas, how am I to take you with me? I have no pockets in which to put you nor can I carry you in my hand for I am afraid I might crush or drop you. divinity might I suggest that I ride in your panties for their I might safely necessarily in the cleft of your poo denim. Yes What you say pleases me greatly. But tell me first What is your name? My name is pants B pants p Brown, bad B Brown. I declare you my profit climb into my panties and we shall go at once to panty poop er. The prophet of scat ran across the tiled floor and flung themselves face down in the gusset of her pants. He’s he held on tightly as she pulled them up, only letting go once he was safely between her Libya. She turned and suddenly he heard the sound of crashing waters. He did not comprehend that this was merely the flushing of the toilet for in those days, there were no toilets in panty popiah and while the crushing water is drowned out all other sounds scat past flatus latest, I guess, overcome by the stench, the prophet lost consciousness. Well, you know, he’s very tiny, and she’s very big, her ass hole is huge. That’s going to produce some hefty gasses. All right. As Scott descended the staircase, men began to gather at its base looking up into heaven and asking one another, does this mean who is this person until now no one has ever gone up or come down the staircase. Finally she reached the bottom. I am the great goddess scat and men looked up her miniskirt marveled at her clean panties. I have come to teach our women to be clean. She then dropped her panties, pants to be brown, having regained consciousness stepped out of her panties, Behold my profits. She pulled her panties back up. He speaks for me. Everything he tells you to do, do someone give him a laptop that he may record my words? Interesting. I thought we were like in ancient times, but no, this may be far into the future. We’ve got laptops and technology, a man in the crowd willingly gave up his laptop and the Prophet began typing here a man of pad to popiah. At the moment of creation, we Gods built this staircase that we might come down and commune with man. But before long, there are roses stench among you that hindered us from coming down, not knowing what caused it and not wanting the stench to infect heaven. We posted angels to guard the state case, but the stench soon drove them to retreat into heaven also, now news has reached heaven that the stench is caused by the uncleanliness of your women for they foul their panties and walk around in their filth and men being base have relations with them in their uncleanliness I could totally see that just guys just having sex with them regardless. Why did men never explained to the women how to wipe themselves properly because it sounds like the guys don’t have this issue. At any point. You know, a guy could have been like, Hey, I noticed some brown in your panties. I don’t have this problem and it’s because I use the toilet paper to wipe my asshole clean. Let me show you you’re waiting for like fucking angels to come down from heaven to explain to me I got this because women don’t like to be criticized. guys didn’t want to deal with that bullshit. Anyway, the goddess went on, listen to me and I will teach you what is wrong. And thus she preached throughout the day and throughout that night also, shortly after sunrise, she ceased talking. Really she had to talk that much to explain to women how to wipe their ass all. It’s a I would think it would be a pretty short tutorial, but I guess not. Shortly after sunrise she ceased talking and let out a long rumbling farts and the earth shook violently behold, it is time watch me panty poop Ian’s and learn what you must do. Oh, she’s getting ready to have her morning BM. she dug a hole with her hands, uprooting trees and boulders sliding her panties down. She squatted over the hole. A mighty golden torrent issued from her vagina, and a lake began to form in the bottom of the hole. Again, the earth shut from an explosive fart and a perfectly formed stool. slit from her anus splashing into the lake of B and the Have panty poopy gas in all Holy shit, said the Prophet. Alas, cried scat, I have nothing with which to wipe my orifices clean standing she pulled up her panties, but when you panty poop Ian’s do this You shall wipe yourselves clean with paper or rags before pulling up your underwear. Here’s the thing frakes This is a giant goddess, a Titan, if you will. And her big issue with Earth is that it stinks of shit because women aren’t wiping their asses, but isn’t a giant fucking god turd that that she just laid in the middle that looks like Lake sized, going to produce tons of stink. Behold, I have shown you what you should do. If any woman refuse to do likewise, her husband or boyfriend shall spank her. Yet it is not fitting that I should always deprecate like this When I visit panty popiah Okay, you shall build me a throne like my throne in heaven with your own eyes have beheld, I shall revealed this is like the story of Noah right? Because like God told him to build that Ark. This guy’s being directed to build a toilet fit for a god. It was then that she told the Patsy brown over here that they’re going to go up back in heaven. And of course he has to crawl into her crotch area problem was she chose a white jet. You know what I mean? She didn’t have toilet paper. So she lowered her panties, you know, to let the guy in. But because she had not wiped, there was now a skidmark and a wet spot, a wet spot and the gusset. The profit climbed in and she took them up to heaven. her brothers Saito met her at the top of the stairs. Our father has called a council of the gods your presence is required. And at the Council, her father, king of the gods asked her daughter, where have you been? I’ve been down in panty popiah, teaching them to be clean, for I have found out the cause of their uncleanliness Is that so? said the King. Ever since man was created, no one has been able to find out the cause of his stench. But if what you say is true, and you succeed in making them clean and remove their stench that I will surely give you my crown, for I am old, and I do not have many years left. Even Gods die in this mythology. This is way more interesting than anything in the Bible, or like Greek mythology. My father said, say no, I am your eldest, your crown belongs to me. My crown is mine to give. If Scott can do what no other God has done before, then she will have earned the right to wear my crown. The King’s word greatly angered Saito, yet he kept his silence. But from that moment, he began scheming in his hearts to undermine his sister’s work and paint popiah I’m gonna jump around here a bit because I don’t think we need to hear the whole story and we’re already running so late. The majestic God toilet was built on the land of panty. popiah Scott consecrated her throne, pulling down her panties and sitting on it. she peed and after farting many times pooped on top of the sister and sat a roll from what sheet or several sheets of paper with which she wiped herself clean. Finally she got up and flushed, and all those gathered at the foot of the hill cheered. I am pleased with your work said scat but your work must continue. My prophet shall appoint three orders of priesthood from among you to maintain my throne, there shall be one order of breeze who shall ensure that there’s always a fresh toilet roll another who shall ensure that my throne is always brushed clean and disinfected, and yet another who shall ensure the plumbing never fails? Then she instructs Did that toilets, human sized toilets be constructed one for each house. Then later on in the story, a woman named Penny soya her heart filled with wickedness, a step, ascended the staircase and met up with Saito and they started scheming. She said that many of us are unhappy with the new way of things, you know, for we have always pooped in our panties. And before your sister came, we felt no shame in doing so. And now she’s changing everything. We got a shit in toilets. It ain’t fair, I tell you fair. So Saito gives her some special powers. And she goes back down right to panti popiah and says, I’ve got some information from Gods. They are displeased with what is happening here. And then she takes a shit and one of the powers that Saito gives her is the ability to take just massive bowel movements so big In fact, everyone is now I’m convinced that she too is a prophet, a prophet testes. And she tells people to not shut in holes and cover it up or use toilets. No, no. When a woman needs to deprecate wherever she is whatever she’s doing, she shall dedicated her clothes as is natural and mad need fair having relations with women in the state. Look at me now my panties are filled with poop. Am I not beautiful? Does no man among you want me? Well, the mayor of spacia or scatti? Uh, I don’t know, step that’s, you know, a local jurisdiction in the land of panty poopy, I guess. All right, so the mayor stepped forward and unbuckled his belt, then dropped his trousers and boxers and began rubbing his erect penis against the bulge in her panties her ship bhoj. After he came, he got on his knees and crawled around to her front and administered cuddling is through her panties. Again, I’m going to skip forward here. construction and maintenance on the giant toilet for the goddess stops, so she has nowhere to poop. She actually poops herself she poops her panties was an accident. But you know, you may remember where does the Prophet Nestle himself right in her panties so he gets caught. He actually drowns in her shit he dies. At the end of the story. It’s revealed that Saito is behind all of this. The Goddess scat figures it out and punishes her brother feeling the urge to deprecate again she released a torn of liquid stool onto her brother’s face. her brothers struggled yet he could not prevail against her, and so Sado choked to death on his sister’s feces, just as the Prophet had the people of panty popiah realized the error of their ways. She did not punish the people of the land though, Scott said let your women go and empty their panties bury their excrement and let them wash their panties and wipe themselves clean. For I know Now that you were deceived and not guilty of rebellion, and the cheers went up from the city, and to show your renewed devotion to me, You shall rebuild my throne and continue to obey all of the instructions, which I have already given you. And then the last scene is of the goddess scat, and then that that woman who was conspiring with Sado the other one who was like I missed the way things were where I could pooped my pants, right, that woman, they start having sex. I don’t know she lowered her panties, letting her profitez hop in, and when Scott pulled them up, the woman overwhelmed with gratitude had began to lick the goddesses clitoris while massaging the Goddess is labor with her hands. halfway up the staircase. I guess they’re ascending to heaven. Scott stopped in the grip of a powerful orgasm and the mode of her bliss was heard both on Earth and in heaven. And when the orgasm passed, Scott continued up the staircase. Honorable way up to heaven to receive a crown from her father. The end. Quite an epic story if I do say so myself. I don’t know. I think the runner up story was better than the one that you guys picked. Glad I was finally able to share it with you. Thank you guys so much for checking out crude summer. I’ll be here all summer long. Although technically summer I think ends next week. We’re gonna be here throughout September because it’s still gonna be like fucking 90 degrees for another month and a half or something. I’d love to hear from you freaks. Email me your opinions or maybe you’ve got a sex tastic Tuesday request a story that I read on a past episode of Divi you think might be good for crude summer show a distorted view.com that’s my email address voicemail line 206-666-4463 remember new episodes of distorted view daily air Monday through Friday right here at distorted view, calm and super excited. I’ll be back next week with another dose of awful sex stories. Right here just a quick final reminder that it sort of us crude summer is brought to you by AdamAndEve Remember to use promo code freak FREAK for 50% off just about any item you’re also going to get some free gifts. Something for him something for her something you can both enjoy and six free movies plus free shipping on your entire order. Not a bad deal at all. Just remember promo code freak at damAndEve This has been another excellent podcast, scribe Media Group. We’re Morris grab dotnet“Lobby Time” by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
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