On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Granny Calls The Party Line Looking To Get Her Cookies | 3:18.000 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 23:10.250 |
| Attempting To Re-Animate Your Grandma’s Corpse | 24:18.750 |
| The Fake Park Bench Plaques Can Stay! | 28:11.000 |
| Send Noodz | 31:08.500 |
| Butt-Buying A $4,000 In-App Purchase | 32:24.000 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 37:21.250 |
