On Today’s Show:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Supermarket Sweep | 1:29.991 |
| Oh, My Studio Is Flooding | 8:58.159 |
| Cybernetic Buttholes Of The Future | 12:00.000 |
| Donkey Punch Sex | 14:26.136 |
| Meade Skelton Has Uncovered Subliminal Message In Disney Programming | 16:03.168 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 22:29.198 |
| Fake Leather Fart Pants | 24:35.382 |
| Viking Obsessed Man Axes Girlfriends Skull | 28:47.734 |
| Which A-List Celebrity’s Dad Died While Having Sex? | 33:21.960 |
| Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending | 37:24.989 |
| Hidden Track | 46:05.526 |
