On Today’s Show:

00:00:00:00.00	Introduction
00:01:38:11.02	Sorry About My Voice
00:02:46:04.08	Gumball Has A Filthy Mouth
00:11:13:17.60	Meade’s Aggro Plea For A Girlfriend
00:16:09:10.52	Tiktok Lady Who Keeps Pooping Herself
00:19:20:17.61	Trump Addresses The Russian Piss Prostitute
00:21:14:18.40	Sign Up For The Sideshow
00:22:23:17.02	Faking Medical Study To Touch Lady Stomachs
00:24:58:24.36	Sugar Baby Shoots Girlfriend
00:28:14:08.69	Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

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AI Transcript:

Hey, Freaks, it’s Wednesday, November 22nd, 2023!

Coming up on the program today, giving reparations to the black man who anally sodomized me.

Plus, that’s a sentence, pissing down the aisle of a plane and one man is contemplating giving up wiping his ass.

All this for your voicemails today.

• You know when you’re at the club and you see two big booties, you wanna stick your hand between ’em, make ’em twerk?

(upbeat music) It’s kinda like a sandwich.

(slurping) A twerking sandwich.

♪ Oh, let them games begin ♪ ♪ I see them waddling in ♪ ♪ Double guts, bubble butts ♪ ♪ Rubbery, blubbery, blobs of skin ♪ ♪ You’re almost too fat to get into the club ♪ ♪ Put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Pounds of mounds shaking ’round ♪ ♪ Like jowls on a bloodhound ♪ ♪ Dropping like a guillotine ♪ ♪ Your booties get the floor clean ♪ ♪ Jumping like a dump truck ♪ ♪ With that bump, dunk a dunk ♪ ♪ Ladies, you’re fatter than a hippopotamus ♪ ♪ Girls, we beg you ♪ ♪ Whip that ass on us ♪ ♪ Oh, put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Flip that ass, flip that ass ♪ ♪ Flip that ass, flip that ass ♪ ♪ Your booty is bigger than my caravan ♪ ♪ You’ve got more rolls than the Michelin man ♪ ♪ You the champ of fat ♪ ♪ You deserve some Wheaties ♪ ♪ I like my women with type 2 diabetes ♪ ♪ Diabetes ♪ ♪ Blubber flying ’round like sumos fighting ♪ ♪ My head knocked around like you was Mike Tyson ♪ ♪ Slamming my head like I’m in a NASCAR ♪ ♪ Hip smack, whip lash like them bumper cars ♪ ♪ Ladies got back, including back fat ♪ ♪ You so fat you got couch lines on your ass ♪ ♪ Oh, put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Roly poly honeys got padding like goalies ♪ ♪ Barely moving ’round like you was Zambonis ♪ ♪ Boop a pair of troopers, shake them poopers ♪ ♪ Jangle and dangle that rear until I’m in a stupor ♪ ♪ Shake it, break it, work it, twerk it ♪ ♪ ‘Til I’m in a world of hurting ♪ ♪ Shake it, break it, work it, twerk it ♪ ♪ ‘Til I’m in a world of hurting ♪ ♪ Maloney, check ♪ ♪ Mayonnaise, check ♪ ♪ Pickles, check ♪ ♪ Sauerkraut, check ♪ It’s like a masterpiece, a piece of ass.

(growling) ♪ You’re making me hungry ♪ ♪ Put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Put my head between your buns ♪ ♪ Go ahead and smack it ♪ ♪ Go big girl, go big girl, go ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ ♪ Make me a twerking sandwich ♪ – Ah, ladies, you work it so good.

Stretch marks the spot.

• It’s the Distorted View Show with Tim Henson.
• If I were to molest somebody, I definitely would have done anal no matter what.
• Full bloom AIDS.
• S-M-H. I think that means shake him out of here.
• You gotta see the pussy or the butthole.
• Yeah!

(laughing) Oh, baby!

Tim Henson back here with you.

I don’t know why my voice is getting worse.

The good news, of course, is that I’ll have a couple days off because we are ending the week with the Wednesday podcast.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

I’m still planning on heading up to Ashtabula and infect some of the elderly members of my family.

Time to take a couple of them down.

Let’s hope I’m in their wills.

Today, unsurprisingly, it’s probably gonna be another short episode.

I did wanna mention at the top of the show, the Distorted View store is officially open for 2023.

(trumpet blaring) Yeah, baby!

A lot of returning products and designs that you guys liked, and I added some new ones as well.

Got a bunch of stuff with the new version of our logo.

We got shot glasses, which is something I don’t think we’ve sold in many years.

Pint glasses, some new coffee mugs.

You may remember back in, what, 2014, 2015, something like that, we sold a limited edition pirate flag, a Distorted View pirate flag, which is kinda cool.

Those are back as well, along with a T-shirt design based on that.

Got a Distorted View glass ornament, lot of T-shirts, lot of hoodies, drinkware, new stickers and magnets, just a bunch of stuff.

Just go to distortedview.

com.

It’s a brand new store, new design.

It’s integrated with our main website.

So just go to distortedview.

com, check out all of the stuff, bark over that credit card, buy lots of merchandise, consume, consume, consume!

Now, see, now that is the type of thing I should not be attempting right now.

I can’t help myself though, right?

All right, listen, I do have a couple real short pieces of audio.

Then we’ll do a news story or two, play some voicemails, and just wrap it up for the week.

First clip I have for you today, look, I know black people.

You got a raw deal with the slavery, and I guess that’s all I really need to say.

That was bad enough.

I have noticed that most black people seem to have moved on because, you know, it happened like 200 fucking years ago.

And sure, the repercussions of this tragedy have been felt for generations upon generations and will continue, but by and large, slowly but surely things are getting better.

Unfortunately, we have people like our first subject today who just want to make white people the perpetual villain, which I don’t know, maybe it makes you feel better, but it’s not really helping in the long run.

You’ll see what I mean here.

• Okay, y’all, so I was just chilling outside by the sun ’cause I can do that ’cause I’m black.
• Okay, I was convinced that this was a woman with short hair speaking, but I was later informed that this is a guy, probably gay.
• So I was just chilling outside by the sun ’cause I can do that ’cause I’m black.

And then white Jesus came to me, white Jesus was like, “Gazia,” I said, “What white Jesus?

” And he was like, “You need to train male Saxons.

” I said, “Why, white Jesus?

” He was like, “‘Cause just like dogs, they need training.

” I said, “Okay, I’ll do it.

” – So far in the span of about 10 seconds, he’s insulted white people three times.

• So now I’m going to show you these well-trained male Saxons, toilet seat complexion individuals, okay?
• Look, I know this next part is gonna just come off as racist, but I gotta defend my people a little bit here.

There’s a lot to make fun of when it comes to white people, but saying that white people’s complexion reminds you of a toilet seat really just kind of opens you up to unflattering things that your skin complexion might remind someone of.

Do you really wanna go there?

Now, we have heard some very clever put-downs by black people.

I love the term mayo monster.

That’s creative, that’s entertaining.

But toilet seat complexion, not funny, not clever.

Should I start listing unpleasant things that are brown?

You wanna get brown, honey?

• Male Saxons, toilet seat complexion individuals, okay?

Disciples of white Jesus, okay?

So let’s talk to them real quick and let’s see what they have to say.

• So he has assembled a group of mostly white people.

I think maybe a Mexican slipped in there.

Let’s see how this goes.

• A who-roo, a who-doo.
• Do you owe reparations?
• Absolutely.
• Why you say that?

Wait, who is you?

• Beryl Shepley.
• A who-roo Beryl.
• I have a sneaking suspicion that everyone’s gonna have just a recalculus name.

So far we got Beryl Shepley.

• Now, you owe me some money.

Okay, you owe me reparations.

• Absolutely.
• Why is that?
• Because every freedom that I have and have taken for granted for my entire life has been made possible by wealth that my ancestors stole.
• Like there’s like a 100% chance this is all going down on a college campus, right?

Wait, who is you?

• I doubt we’re dealing with an English major here.

These type of people always major in like African studies, right?

It’s like gay people getting their degree in gender studies.

It’s like, okay, this is the type of shit they’re doing for four years.

The highly unemployable people.

• A who-roo.
• I don’t know what this who-roo thing is.

Isn’t that a character from “Star Trek”?

• Good.
• A who-roo?
• A who-roo.
• What’s your name is?
• Jackson.
• A who-roo Jackson.

You owe me reparations.

• I do.
• Why that?
• Because I have benefited from the wealth that was stolen from you.
• Well, you also just stole what the last person said.

Come up with something original.

A who-roo.

I totally understand if you’re utterly annoyed by this person.

So let me just tell you this, without giving too much away, this segment has a happy ending.

Just stick with me here, freaks.

Do what other dork is in this group?

• A who-roo.
• What’s up, you a who-roo?
• Yep, you heard him, y’all.

He’s a who-roo.

• A who-roo?
• You a who-roo.
• Where you from?
• Seattle.
• Mm-hmm, he raised around all nothing but African people, y’all.

So he don’t know nothing about being white.

He don’t like white people.

Ain’t that right?

• Just goes to show you, you white people who like to act black, you ain’t getting out of paying reparations.

You’re gonna have to fork over some cash too.

• All white people owe reparations, though.
• Absolutely, absolutely.

Ain’t that right?

• It’s true.
• And what’s your name is?
• Prince.
• Jesus fucking Christ.

Let’s listen to these guys talk for a little longer and then we’ll move on.

• So every white person, no matter how little you got or think you got, you owe money.

I owe money.

And like my brother Prince said, like my comrade Prince said, if you don’t give it, we’re gonna come take it.

• We’re gonna come take it.
• Okay, good luck with that.

You’re gonna have to take a number, quite frankly.

I’m in collections with medical bills.

I got credit card debt, student loans.

Get to the back of the line, motherfuckers.

Right behind the Columbia Record and Tape Club.

When they get their money, you’ll get yours.

Soon as I finish paying off that Matchbox 20 CD from 1997, we’ll talk.

• Uh-huh, and I’ve seen Prince take it, all right?

We by a church across the street and Prince ran up on this old white man.

What’d you say to the old white man coming out the church?

• I asked if he wanted to hear the gospel of reparations.
• Hey!
• All right, now for the dramatic twist in this story.

This young guy’s name is Augustus Romaine.

Apparently last year, someone called 911, saying they were being held hostage.

Police were able to track the call and they saw someone waving their hand out of the home’s garage window.

After surrounding the house, officers asked everyone inside to come out.

Nine people exited, but there were 10 people in the house.

What happened to that last one?

Well, he was already dead.

Police say he killed himself in an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

In the warrant released to the public after the arrest, police say that two men had been forced at gunpoint from part of the home into its padlocked, locked garage and were not allowed to leave.

Officials allege that Romaine, you know, that’s our Uhuru, he also goes by the name Ghazi Kodo.

He’s the leader of the group known as the Black Hammer Party, an organization that describes itself as a symbol of hope for the colonized working class.

Police call them a criminal street gang, though.

According to the warrant, Romaine, Uhuru, ordered two men to point guns at the two victims and forced them into the garage so that he could anally sodomize at least one of them.

• Why that?
• ‘Cause you’re a gay rapist?
• Absolutely.
• So now this guy obviously is behind bars.

He’s been charged with two counts of aggravated sodomy, Uhuru, conspiracy to commit a felony.

• Uhuru.
• False imprisonment.
• Uhuru.
• Kidnappings.
• Uhuru.
• Aggravated assault.
• Why that?
• And criminal street gang activity.
• Uhuru.
• You know, it’s a pretty solid case that the police have.

They go to this house, there’s like a padlocked garage, someone is being held hostage, someone committed suicide, some shit went down there, right?

Still, the African People’s Socialist Party has set up a website, handsoffuhuru.

org, where they are demanding that the charges be dropped against the quote Uhuru Three.

I guess there are three people who have been arrested in connection to this insanity.

Well, there you go.

Somehow I don’t think reparations will be coming to these people anytime soon.

All right, let’s move on.

Hey, you know how I’m always excited about the 4th of July, specifically the days and week following the 4th of July, because that’s when you get the best news stories of people like blowing off their hands, setting off fireworks in their house, you know, dumb stupid shit like that.

I’ve got a new time of year I’m excited about, and it’s the holidays, but not for the reasons you think.

I never really put this together, but around this time, and I guess heading all the way into Christmas, we’re really starting to see a ramp up of insanity on airplanes.

And if you’ve been paying attention, right, if you’ve been listening to “Distorted View Daily,” we feature plenty of these airplane freak outs all the time.

The holidays though, it just brings out the worst in people.

It really, you know, kicks up the crazy a couple notches.

Here is one flight.

This just took place a couple of days ago.

(woman screaming) Got a white woman who’s being restrained screaming.

(woman screaming) I know it’s kind of hard to hear what she’s saying.

It doesn’t matter what she’s saying, but then on the very same flight, this happened.

(people shouting) This altercation involves an entirely different group of people.

(people shouting) And then at some point, that first woman gets involved with this fight.

(people shouting) – You have no idea this race.

I’ve been fucking kicked out.

• She’s throwing punches now.

You can hear her.

She’s upset because they’re blocking her from walking down the aisle.

(people shouting) I know this flight attendant thinks she is going to command some respect by using that intercom, but no one is paying attention to her.

The fight continues.

(people shouting) The white woman is still being restrained.

Then one of the black women from one of the fights kind of breaks it down.

She starts walking along the aisles and explains what happened.

• It’s not happening for no reason.

This is happening.

Everything you said is a real devil that wants to kill each and every one of y’all, including your family members.

• Yeah, the devil’s on the plane today, she says.
• That’s not her.

She’s possessed and she needs help.

And I’m sorry to say it like that, but I’m telling you right now, Jesus Christ is the light of truth and the life, and there’s nobody that’s gonna come to the God, the Father.

• Where’s that flight attendant at when you need her?

Get on the intercom, honey.

• Without Jesus Christ, and I’m telling you right now, the spirit of peace is the only thing y’all need.

The trust him.

In the name of Jesus, I command the spirit of peace.

And as anybody knows, as anybody knows.

• I don’t think I need to state this, but we are witnessing a Frontier Airlines flight.

And as far as Frontier Airlines go, this is pretty run of the mill.

I do have one more short airplane freak out.

This woman just pulls down her pants and starts pissing in the aisle.

• Ready to be over here.

Sorry, everybody.

• She apologizes beforehand, though.

She knows what she’s doing is wrong and gross, but she can’t help it.

I’m not entirely sure why she didn’t just go in the airplane restroom.

Maybe it was occupied or something.

I don’t know the backstory here.

Sorry, everybody.

• Are you serious?
• I don’t fucking, let me, let me just imagine.
• It’s so funny because there’s a guy who’s got like a backpack between his feet and his seat.

And the backpack is kind of like in the aisle.

He snatches that up real quick.

‘Cause you know, she’s getting piss on.

(crowd yelling) – I don’t give a fuck.

Now fuck you.

Fuck you.

I gotta go pee.

I don’t give a fuck.

• She’s, I don’t know if you could hear, but someone yelled, “There are kids on this plane.

” And she doesn’t give a fuck.

• I don’t give a fuck.
• See, I told you.
• You’re not the only big fucking bitch.
• We have kids here.
• Let me back.
• This poor little boy next to us.

Holy hell.

• People have the same idea as me in the comments.

They want to know if this is spirit or frontier.

It’s gotta be one of the two.

And someone, a real sleuth, an internet detective was like, “I think based on the tray tables, we’re dealing with spirit airlines here.

” But today we really had the best of both worlds, frontier and spirit.

Well, there you go.

A couple of airplane freak outs for you.

I have one more audio clip I want to share with you.

I don’t think we’re going to do any news stories today.

I can’t, I’m sorry.

My throat is on fire and I just need to rest my voice.

So I’m all, you know, I’m all well and then ready to go next week.

I did want to feature this short clip though.

We’ve played this Utahard maybe a couple of times.

Someone in the discord turned me on to him.

I don’t know if we’ve featured him on a non-Sideshow exclusive episode.

So this may be a new find for you guys.

I believe he goes by the name McDavio Brand and he barely speaks English.

Not because he’s foreign, but because there’s something wrong with him.

(speaking in foreign language) That’s how he speaks.

And he most certainly is speaking English.

Let me translate for you.

(speaking in foreign language) I was thinking about (speaking in foreign language) not wiping my ass anymore.

Now say what you will about this guy.

And I’m guessing what you’re going to say about this guy is, is he mentally retarded?

I don’t know.

I have very little information about him.

The only thing I do know is he’s contemplating not wiping his ass anymore.

He’s fed up with the grind.

Do you know how much time he wastes every day wiping his ass?

Those are valuable minutes, man.

Those add up.

At the end of your life, if you do the calculations, you spend hours and hours, if not days, wiping your shitter.

Is it really that necessary?

That’s what McDavio is asking.

He pulls the perfect social media move here.

(speaking in foreign language) So he’s questioning if he’s going to wipe his ass anymore.

(speaking in foreign language) That last part was video on why coming soon.

See, you got to subscribe if you want to hear his reason for potentially not wiping his butt.

This was just a little tease.

Of course, I searched through all of his newer videos and he has yet to address the anus wiping conundrum, but you better believe the moment he posts, I will cover it here on TV.

Do you want to hear a little more from McDavio?

This does not have anything to do with his butt.

I’m going to let you try to decipher this.

All right, what is he saying here?

This is a very hard game.

(speaking in foreign language) Not in a million years.

You would never guess what he’s saying here.

What he is saying is, and then he’s got another sentence, and maybe knowing the first part of the video will help you with the second.

He’s saying, “This is for all of you flat earthers.

” All right, he’s addressing the flat earthers.

I’ll replay that part.

(speaking in foreign language) (laughing) I got the last part.

The last two words were pretty clear, right?

Fucking dumbasses.

What he’s saying there, he really, he lost me on this one.

How do you explain high tide and low tide, you fucking dumbasses?

And I feel like I just, this is more for me.

I’ve got one more clip from McDavio here, and I’m going to try to isolate this audio.

(speaking in foreign language) I think maybe we’ve played this one on the show before, but next time someone calls in asking me to sing “Happy Birthday” to them, you’re going to be serenaded by McDavio here.

Apple butter 2-0, apple butter 2-0.

Apple butter 2-0, apple butter 2-0, apple butter 2-0, mama dies.

Apple butter 2-0.

Thank you very much, McDavio.

Let’s do a couple of voicemails and call it a week.

All right, many ways to contact the show.

Show@distortedview.

com.

I’m all over social media @distortedview on Twitter and Instagram.

Facebook.

com/distortedviewshow.

Remember, if you pledge at least $5 to our Patreon account, you get access to that special voicemail line where I will play your calls first.

And we have a bunch.

We’re going to just clear out the Patreon calls today because this is really the last time I’m going to speak to you.

I mean, I think we’re going to play a Best Of show maybe on Friday, but you know, this is the last new episode of DB.

We’ve got like one, two, three, four, five, we’ve got like six or seven of these patron calls coming in in the last day.

• Hey Tim, I’m listening to the November 17th episode and you were talking about your vacuum and how you were broke it.

And so as you started the conversation, I knew that you were going to say you knocked it over.

And I was reaching for my phone as I’m driving to call the voicemail to say, yeah, you brushed it.

You mean you hit it with your big fat ass.

• And that’s exactly what happened.

And that’s exactly what I said too.

• I said that exact same thing.

So I just want to say, I love your honesty.

I love your honesty about your faggotry, about your big fat ass.

I just love you in general, Tim.

Have a good one, bye.

• You love my big fat ass, my big fat faggot ass.

That sounds like a rom-com, doesn’t it?

But look, no point in lying.

I did it.

I know exactly what happened.

If I didn’t say it, if I wasn’t like, yeah, my big fat ass was the reason that we got knocked over.

Someone would call in and say, Tim, the reason why you’re knocking shit over is ’cause you’re so huge.

I’m just beating you assholes to the punch, man.

All right, next up here.

• Hello, Timmy Boo, it’s Itchy Tate calling in.

Yes, I just got done watching that full documentary on Boogie.

• Yeah, that was good.
• And it made me think of you.
• No, not the monstrosity he is.

I said the part that really made me think of you was when Boogie had to go for that job interview.

And he was like saying how, yeah, you might see rumors on the internet that I’m a pedophile and all that stuff.

Made me think, my God, if you ever had to go for a real job.

• I know!

That is something that weighs on me heavily.

• Quite a feat, I mean, Tim.
• I think that my move is going to be changing my name.

I’m just gonna have to legally change my name.

• Never lose your podcast.
• Please, guys, please stick with me.

I’ll do whatever you want me to do.

• You know, I dread to think what the interviewer could dig up about you on the internet, like maybe you telling us to go.
• I’m already in my 40s.

If I can just keep this going another 20 some years, I can retire.

I mean, I won’t have any money, but I’ll be at retiring age.

• Asian girl’s feet or something like that.
• Oh, yeah.
• Yeah, I will keep– – There’s lots of sound clips that can be used against me.
• I will keep subscribing, so you can hang on to the podcast ’til the day you die.
• Thank you, I appreciate that.

Sign up, superfreaksideshow.

com.

• Hey, Tim, it’s Tom in Tennessee.
• Hey, Tom.
• I was listening to the Tuesday show, and for Sextastic Tuesday, I think you’ve missed out in your AI voices.
• Oh, yeah, so yesterday on the podcast, in an attempt to save my voice, we had some AI-generated voices read really bad, gross, erotic poetry.

I added a new voice to my stable, Joe Biden.

He’s a fart freak, I believe.

• You should get an AI Gail Cord Shuler to read the female-voiced erotica.
• Oh, that’s a good idea.

There’s lots of clean audio of Gail out there that I can use to train the AI, ’cause she rambles on for hours on those stupid videos.

Yeah, next time we do that, I will try Gail.

Thank you for the great suggestion.

• Jigoo, Timmyboo, Haley’s comment coming up.
• Hey!
• There’s something about your recent episodes that has me perplexed.

Your voice is trash.

• Thank you.
• You are ill, and you are persevering and doing shows anyway, which I applaud that.
• I mean, if I don’t do a podcast, what are you people going to listen to?

It’s not like there’s one billion other podcasts out there, right?

You need me.

• That is a very strong work ethic, but I must ask you a question.

Why the flying fuck are you not using AI Chan or AI Me?

I mean, AI– – Well, I did yesterday.

• I’d big in the news.

It would even be topical for you to use.

• Oh, you mean like to do the whole show in an AI Me voice or an AI me?
• Well, you know, we’ve tried cloning my voice and it doesn’t work.

It doesn’t sound real.

Although I will say they keep improving those AI voices.

Like this last time that I used them for the erotic poems, they were really good.

• To make your job easier.
• I’ll try cloning my voice again.
• You heal, and also it gives you a chance to rest your throat, which will only speed up the healing.
• I know, I know.

Truthfully, I should have taken off yesterday and today or something just ’cause my voice is that bad, but my thinking was, well, you know, I’m already taking Thursday and Friday off.

Then I have the weekend.

I’m gonna have plenty of time to recuperate.

• Process, please, Tim.
• If I have to live with this shitty voice, I’m gonna make you guys suffer through it too.
• For the sake of your throat.
• All right, all right, all right.

Enough, Haley’s comment.

I get your point, thank you.

• Hey, Tim.
• Uh-oh.

♪ It’s another depressed caller ♪ ♪ Oh, you are depressed ♪ ♪ It’s another depressed caller ♪ ♪ Oh, gonna blow your brains out ♪ – Please don’t blow your brains out, but yeah, you sound a little depressed, my friend.

How can I put that frown upside down for you on this lovely Wednesday?

• Process, you’re my friend.

I’m not on my meds today, so I’m depressed and angry.

• I knew it, I knew it.

I heard that in your voice.

• Anyway, you said in the, today’s, what’s today?
• Tuesday, well, you were calling on Tuesday, yeah.
• I think, isn’t it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the show you just posted, you said you wanted to fill the holes of all your listeners.

(laughing) I mean, you got my permission, but my wife might not like it, so.

• I don’t need her consent.

It’s your holes.

All right, well, thank you very much.

I will make good use of your holes.

• Hey, boo, back home here, long time, our first listener.
• Ram, ram, ram, ram, ram, ram.
• Hey, so the real thing that you wanna know about buying weed from stores.
• Yeah, ’cause I’m a total fucking square.

I’m like, can you guys help me?

• As long as it’s anything like it is in Ohio, how it is here in Oregon.
• Yeah, Ohio, for those of you that don’t know, just passed the legalization of recreational weed, and I was just asking for your opinion on what I should try, you know, edible-wise.
• The biggest thing, honestly, is you have to pay with cash.

No cards, all cash business.

Banks don’t like them or whatever, so they need to always work with cash.

• That should be illegal.

Why aren’t there lawsuits?

Like, if it’s fucking legal, what are these credit card companies getting their panties in a twist about?

I guess maybe because it’s not federally, like it’s not legal on the federal level.

• No cards, all cash business.

Banks don’t like them or whatever, so they need to always work with cash.

Secondly, especially if you’re uninitiated, then you’re probably most interested in edibles, and edibles are largely like gummies and chocolate bars.

• I like gummies, I like chocolate bars.

You’re speaking my language.

• Like, they’re not really gonna be cookies or brownies.

You can definitely do that, and if you want the most economical take, it’s actually probably like a vape pen, but I can feel the deuce chills right now, so I would only recommend– – Look, I love eating.

I love the feeling of getting high, so– – Edibles, if you want– – Why not combine those two things together?

• Fun attraction and– – Like chocolate and peanut butter.
• It’s gonna be a lot of gummies and chocolate bars.
• Okay, all right, well, I think I’m gonna already do that.

I love you, Tim.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

• All right, mwah, mwah, mwah.

Thank you very much, and thank you to everyone who’s been calling into the voicemail line.

Keep those calls coming.

That is all the time we have on this edition of the program.

Want you guys to email me, show@distortedview.

com.

Distortedview.

com is our official website.

Voicemail line for you, 206-666-4463.

I’m just laughing ’cause I know what’s coming here.

That’s 206-66, oh God, is it oh God?

• Ohuru!
• Ohuru!
• Ohuru!

BT Dubs, you ain’t getting any reparations.

All right, spread the distortion.

Tell all your friends about the program.

Don’t forget to give us a five-star rating, a thumbs up, or like wherever you can rate and review podcasts.

Guys, thank you so much for a great, I don’t know.

I don’t know if this was great or not, but thank you so much for hanging out with me in my weakened state.

Have a great Thanksgiving if you live here in the US and participate.

Don’t forget, the Distorted View store is now open, chock full of merchandise, Black Friday deals coming up on Friday, especially over there at superfreaksideshow.

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Now is the time to sign up so you don’t miss a thing.

Like I’ve been saying, this is probably the last time you’ll ever get a Sideshow membership at this low of a price, you know, ’cause of inflation.

Take advantage of it, and I will see you back on Monday to start a new week of programs.

Until then, bye, everybody!

(upbeat electronic music) – Come on, let me fuck your face, shut the fuck up.

(imitating dog barking) – This has been another excellent podcast from the Scrod Media Group.

Learn more at scrod.net.