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Quick And Dirty Transcript

Tim Henson
Freaks it’s Wednesday, January 12, 2022 Coming up on the program today, batting man boobs around with a penis is a unique way to get off. Plus, Gabrielle Channa goes full racist. Make sure you get the Mandela vaccine for COVID Nintendo and a criminal glitter bombing. All this coming up tonight,

Tim Henson
Yes, dementin back here with you for the Wednesday podcast. At the top of the show, you heard my belated tribute to the late Betty White. I wanted to discuss it a few days ago, but I was just too emotional. I honestly didn’t think this would affect me as much as it did, but I was really broken up over the whole thing, and I was surprised to find that most of America joined me in mourning her passing. Honestly, I didn’t think people outside of Distorted View listeners even knew who Betty White was. Apparently, she had some mass appeal. It’s especially surprising because we didn’t really feature Betty White that much on the show. Usually it was her husband, Elton, that we featured for those few of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. Betty White, one half of the musical duo Elton and Betty White, has sadly passed away at the age of 99. She lived a good long life, and thankfully, she leaves behind quite the legacy. Oh, so many songs from Let Me Suck Your Coochie to Foreplay Before Love to Funky Stinky Love and Who Could Forget Menopause Mama. And this is the way I make love and your smell. While her body is now rotting in the ground, her amazing music catalog will live on. She was our kind of lady filthy, obsessed with sex, always horny, even though she would really prefer not to give oral sex. It’s just her preference, and she really hoped you’d respect that. Here’s just a little more from Betty White. This is Jack Off Time by Betty White. Jack off time, right? Beat that meat. You’d better be careful if you do it often and don’t have anyone. You’ll probably never get anyone kind of a depressing song like the Intel’s anthem. Keep Jacking Off. If you Jack off too much, though, and you don’t have sex, you’ll never get anyone. Sometimes it seems the only thing to do and you might think you’re all alone. But when it comes to Jack off time, it could happen to anyone yeah. You know how it is. Jack off time. Just sort of sneaks up on you anyway. Rest in peace. Betty White. Thank you so much for being a friend. What’s that? My producer, Nancy Sanjacamo, just told me I’m talking about the wrong Betty White shit. You mean to tell me there’s two of them? Apparently the singer Betty White died on August 23 at the age of 76. She died before this was even a podcast. Why the hell am I doing a eulogy for her today then? I guess the Betty White, who died recently was some sort of actress who appeared on crappy 1980s TV show about old Broads. Never saw it. Not a fan. I’m so sorry for wasting your time, freaks. I don’t want to overload you with bad news, but there’s been another recent passing. We’ll pay tribute tomorrow to the late, obscure best known, of course, for his appearance on Love Connection.

Tim Henson
Says that he and his mom don’t see eye to eye on his love life, and he claims that his job has cost him several relationships. Please welcome Robert Fagett.

Tim Henson
Faggot is rather an odd name. Yeah, it is an odd name. I’m not sure how he died. I hope it wasn’t suicide. Couldn’t live with that name anymore. We’ll talk about it in depth tomorrow. Right now, though, let’s get into the meat and potatoes of this bitch. Got so much great audio to share with you today. We’ve discussed Nikkado Avocado many times on the podcast. He is a mukbanger. He used to be Super Super tiny now he’s ginormous, rolling around in a mobility scooter. He’s got a dysfunctional relationship. Him and Orland are always breaking up, getting back together, fighting hard to tell how much of it is real and how much of it is made up. This is their burrito. Looks like he’s eating a burrito from Wendy. A sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito. After fart, this is the type of content that has gotten him more than 2 million subscribers. And the meat, the meat is so insignificant. It’s one little turd. Not exactly a glowing review of Wendy’s breakfast burritos. The real reason why people subscribe to Nicocado Avocado is for the breakdowns. Here’s a video from 2021 where Orland and Nicocado are discussing their life together. That’s wrong. You ruined my life. No beating around the Bush there. I used to be so happy without you. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s funny because Nicocado just keeps eating his KFC chicken he does offer. Orlan. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ruined your life. It’s the worst thing that ever happened to me. Oh, Orland, you should save that line for your wedding, pals. I’m sorry. You’re not sorry, ma’am. Sorry. No, you’re not. You’re a liar. You’re not sorry. You’re not sorry. You’re never sorry. You don’t be what you think you’re a piece of garbage. You’re not sorry. You’re not. You ruined my life. You ruined my life.

Tim Henson
This is more of an Orland breakdown, but Nicocado certainly has his moments as well. Yeah, there’s Nicocado Avocado crying. That was a short one. He’s all better now anyway, you get the idea there. You’re all familiar with Nicocado. Nick also has an only fans account and occasionally a picture or video will leak and it’s fucking horrifying. Not really sure who’s been asking for Xrated pictures and videos of Nicocado, but I guess there’s a market for it. Maybe chubby chasers. This guy is over £300. I got to think he’s pushing 400 at this point. My current working theory is that what we all know. Nicado is an attention whore. I think he’s trying to get on my 600 pound life or maybe just his own TLC show or something and he’s going to keep gaining weight until the offers start rolling in. Now, I don’t know if Nicocado has released some of his only fans content or if this was leaked, but I have access to a bunch of videos. Actually, someone in the discord posted this. I think it was Ziggo. Ziggo found the link to quite the dump of Nicocado Xrated pictures in videos. One more exciting reason to join our discord. It’s actually more of a reason to stay away. You don’t want an eye full of this. I’ve got some interesting clips. Now. I got to say the vast majority of stuff on his only fans is boring. It’s just like Nicocado rubbing his belly, jiggling it. There’s oddly, a lot of videos of him, like playing with his Dick through his pants. You know what I mean? He’s got his pants on and he’s just sort of grabbing his junk. What a waste of money if you want to see Nicocado Avocado naked, first of all, shame on you go see a psychiatrist. But there’s a lot of filler on his only fans. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s not necessarily a great value. You will see his Dick and sex scenes and all that. I’ve got a couple of clips here to illustrate what I’m talking about. First up, we learned that sometimes during muck bangs when Nicocata was eating £75 of Burger King, he’s actually naked from the waist down, just got done doing an eating show and I want to show you behind the scenes. I had my Dick out the whole time. Obviously you couldn’t see it in the YouTube video, but it’s a fun little surprise if you have his only fans account, I am a pig. Well, I didn’t really eat that much. I guess considering all things, there’s a camera. I was just kicking it back while filming. I was just going like this the whole time he had his Dick out and he was shaking it around. So now you guys get to see and I want to go make it hard. Let’s go wake this boy up. So meaty cock. He then proceeds to masturbate and I noticed that when he comes, it sounds like he’s having a heart attack. Like one of those Life Alert commercials. I’m having chest pains.

Tim Henson
Someone call the ambulance. I don’t think his heart is strong enough to be orgasming.

Tim Henson
Fuck. The final clip I’ll share with you is really, in my opinion, the most disturbing one because he’s very verbal. This one is quite a long clip. It’s almost like an entire only fan’s vlog. Hey, so Orlando isn’t here and I haven’t come for two days. Oh, my God, you poor thing. How are you able to even go on? So I’m going to please myself. Income for you guys. Please myself. Talks like that. I have a butt plug. This is actually Orleans. He has a butt plug training kit. So ever since I got bigger, ever since I gained weight, my Dick got a lot thicker with me. I don’t think that that’s how that works. Normally, when you get fat, your Dick gets sucked into your Fu PA. It actually ends up looking smaller in comparison. Right? So it’s my Dick so he can’t take it anymore. He hasn’t. Is that why you guys are always crying and fighting? Thank God Orland ordered that butt plug training Kitch? So I told him, look, Coronavirus is going on, but if it weren’t going on, I’d be getting some ass somewhere else. Another great potential wedding valve. So he’s like, okay, so I bought him these butt plugs. This is the biggest size of the training kit. Anyways, I’m going to use this to help me come. Not like I need help, but it feels really good. All right, let me just fast forward to the jerk off session here. I don’t mean to fat shame anyone, but Jesus Christ, he has got some really deep stretch marks. So much fucking milk in these balls. Oh, no, I can’t wait to fucking get hard, make it come out. I’m already pre coming. Look how excited. I’m kidding. I don’t know, man. I’ve seen my fair share of Dicks. He does not have a pretty one. Also, I think he needs to work on his dirty talk games going on? Yeah, he’s got some thick tits. You like that? You like Daddy’s thick tits. He’s jiggling them now. I don’t know if that’s what guys want to see, and they’re masturbating.

Tim Henson
I want cocking me so bad. He starts like playing with his ass and pinching his foreskin. Not really jerking off, but it’s doing something for him. Oh, fuck. Just like these balls right here, right there. He’s grabbing some skin of his balls. He wants a very specific part of his Ball’s. Lick his balls are here. Fucking lick that ball with that sack. Put the holes in your mouth. Gone. Then there’s like an extreme close up of his Uncut Dick as he peels back the foreskin. You want to taste when you put it in your mouth. Sour tastes really good. Yeah. Who wants to muck bang on my Dick? I’m already leaking. Oh, my God. I’m already leaking. All right, I think that’s quite enough of that.

Tim Henson
He comes like he cries. Well, there you go. That’s some X rated solo content. If you’re wondering, yes, Orland does appear in some of the videos. Here he is going to town on Nicocado’s. Dick sounds are disgusting. Yeah, nicocado in this video. For some reason, he’s really obsessed with Orland’s tits.

Tim Henson
Yeah, I know that’s kind of emasculating, isn’t it? And also really pointing out Orland’s weight gain. But I guess this is what Nick likes. I want to see those tapes

Tim Henson
now. He’s slapping his Dick up against Orland’s tits. He starts rubbing his penis and jerking his Dick off on Orland’s left boob. And then he’s like, Show me the other one, and then he starts doing it to the right.

Tim Henson
You might want to try a woman. I don’t know if you’ve ever done the straight route, but you a Titman. Oh, fuck, baby. Yeah. Jiggling so fucking hot. Jiggling his tits on the Dick. Hold on,

Tim Henson
stop calling them tits. Call them his pecs. I love your pecs. I love your Chaz. I love your hairy titties. I think I’m going to be sick. Well, there you go. Some nicocado avocado porn. I watched it so you don’t have to Ding. You just had to listen to it for a few minutes. Believe me, the visuals are way worse. Moving on now it is a new year, and I think it’s time we check in and see what Gale Court Schuler is up to. Also known as Gabrielle Channa, President of the United States and leader of the Church of Gale. Even if you’re new to Distorted View Daily, it should probably go without saying that this woman is insane. She’s a crazy person. Even so, not all of her videos are cuckoo. Crazy beneath. I will go months without playing a Gabrielle Chanel video, even though she’s consistently active on YouTube. Some of the videos are just like Run of the Mill. She talks to her men. I mean, all of them are little nuts. She believes she’s in a brain to brain relationship with Brent Spiner. You remember data from Star Trek The Next Generation? That actor. Even so, sometimes she just talks about her like exercise routine. What she did that day. I don’t feature those videos, and her most recent is entitled Mama Gale’s Southern Fried Chicken. And the majority of the video is just her making chicken. It’s kind of like any other YouTube video where people are making food, putting spices on chicken here. This is an important step by marinating the chicken in the salt. It makes a big difference. We’re not dead, right? Nothing noteworthy there. However, there are a few points in this video where Gail goes. Absolutely bonkers. Take a listen. Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, it’s Mama Gale coming at you from the hood. I’d be hearing that you niggas be all up in the New York high rise is burning shit down and shit because you niggas mad that KFC isn’t using realized chicken anymore. First of all, use of the N word Ting talking about fried chicken Ting. And of course, the Nwords burning down the Highrise building in New York City, of course, referencing that terrible Bronx fire that killed like, 19 people. The actual cause was a space heater. Yale thinks it’s just black people going Ham over fried chicken or something and shit because you niggas mad that KFC isn’t using realized chicken anymore. Oh, yes, she’s talking about the beyond chicken, the fake meat chicken. It also should be noted that Gail and you can see this for yourself if you check out the chapter artwork in your podcast app. Gail is wearing a Gale is my President T shirt with a picture of herself on the T shirt, a big money sign chain, gold chain. Those deal with it. Sunglasses and a gold baseball cap. This makes a brother real mad. Real mad. You feel me? Now you listen. This be all because Laurie McBride killed all of them birds. Her nemesis, Lori McBride, and replace them with her Jesuit drone birds. All of the real ass birds be dead now. It looks like she picked up a huge ass blunt. That’s why all the real ass chickens be dead. Birds ain’t real nigga birds ain’t real. But let me tell you something that Mama Gail tell you something. Sit down right now, because this substitute chicken right here can be made just as good as real chicken is. I’m going to show you how. All right, sit your asses down. Now, I was going to show you all niggas some arrows com polio. But that be Spanish food. And I know your real niggas don’t get along with no Hispanics might knock up a Mexican ditch now and then. You know what I’m saying now? Gail is obviously reading this script. I don’t think she wrote it. I think some of her men sent it to her. Her men, of course, being the people that like to fuck with Gail, you get pleasure out of messing around with a mentally ill woman. All allow it, though, because in the end, they’re very nice to Gail. I mean, they make her do crazy fucking racist shit like this, but they also give her money to help her move. She was like getting evicted from her house or the landlord raised her rent and they got her a U haul. They got her money. They send her stuff all the time. They’re nice to Gail, but also, they fuck with her a lot. But you ain’t playing with no wet backs in the streets. Hard to defend that kind of language. Fuck up, bean niggas. That’s why I got a real special treat for y’all today. She nigga them drone chicken substitutes be so dry, Mama Gal thinned to show you all how to make it sweet and juicy. So that’s what prompted her to make this chicken. I like how she’s incorporating a lot of current events like The Bronx Fire. Just the other day on the podcast, we played audio of the birds aren’t real guy puking on television talks about the bird drones. There are no real birds. They are all fake. Anyway, she ends the video after her very serious recipe. She cooks the chicken. It actually looks pretty good. That being none of that. Mamigale don’t want to see nobody and no chimp out over substitute tickets. She just say chimp out is a distorted view listener behind this

Tim Henson
again. For those of you who are new to the podcast, many years ago, we ran across a racist message board and that was one of the terms we learned. Maybe you guys knew it before me because you are racist. I had never heard it before. There’s like, a whole vocabulary these people use like acronyms TNB typical N word behavior. That’s another one we learned. If Gail whips out TNB, then we totally know a distorted you listener put her up to this. Any niggas want to try some real good soul food? They best get their asses to a Church of Gale where they can try Mamagale’s fried chicken lady as good chicken. Calm a nigga down, even if you’re mentally ill, right? I don’t know what Gail has if she schizophrenic or something bipolar, whatever you still know not to talk like this, right? You steal me, call that ass right down. She just does whatever her men email her to do. Just so good. I’m going for thirds, man. Let me try this again. All right? Enjoy your chicken, Gale, and cool it with the N word. At least it wasn’t a hard R. I don’t think she meant any disrespect to her homings, if you know what I mean. All right. Speaking of mentally ill people, Jordan Long is a YouTuber we featured. Actually, I don’t think this guy’s name is Jordan Long. I think he has named one of his Asian dolls. Jordan? Yes, he’s the guy that has a whole collection of let’s call them action figures. Really? Princess action figures. He performs little skits with the dolls. I’m sorry. Action figures. And occasionally, the content is very important. With coronavirus cases continually on the rise, we’re up to over a million cases a day. Someone really needs to educate the public. And that’s someone you guessed it is Jordan Long. Hi,

Tim Henson
everyone. I like that. He had to clear his throat to get the Jordan Long voice, right? But there was no difference. You know what I mean? Hi, everyone. I mean, Hi, everyone. Hi, everyone. It’s me, Jordan Long here. He’s holding his little Asian doll up to the camera again. Check out the chapter artwork. If you want to see her. She’s very pretty with Pigtails. And today I’m going to talk about crowbar. If there is a God in heaven. This wasn’t a one time thing. Throughout the video, I want to hear Crowvid and Crovid 19. He’s doing an eight minute informational video about COVID, and he can’t say the word. He is going to perform a little skit now with Jordan and a second doll. This is actually an action figure. It’s a robot. Maybe a transformer transformer is going to start the conversation. I think you got your hide on. Yes, I got my hide on. Hide. As I learned later. Must mean mask. That’s what he says. Instead of mask, he calls it a hide. Well, that’s great. Are you being 6ft away or more? Yeah, I’m being 6ft away or more. It doesn’t sound like this, but there are two characters talking. He just doesn’t change his voice at all. Great. Well, the characters sound the same. Well, we’re being great. We’re being good. None of us are going to get COVID or any of it’s bad. The entire reason I’m playing this video is for the way he says covet the other oversight. The other one was getting your healing or your shot.

Tim Henson
Whatever that might be the Johnson and Johnson one. The Murmura one or the Bowser one. All right, but that always seemed to work too. So that was another way of doing it. There are about three ways that you could keep yourself well and others well from crowd. Now I’m not going to get COVID and now I’m not going to get crowded. No one I know is going to get Crow vid. Now keep saying that over and over. Yeah, that is great to know and seen. I hope we all learned something today. Everyone get your manoliticrovit vaccine. Stay safe. And with that, let’s get into the crazy, bizarre twist up news.

Tim Henson
Got to say thanks to Mike for sending in that Gayle cord Schuler video. I saw it like I ran across it and I thought, oh, I don’t want to play a video of her making chicken. That sounds boring, but Mike was like, no, there’s gold within these bar Hills. So thank you very much, Mike, and thank you to all of my Sideshow members. You are the reason this show continues. If you would like to support Distorted View Daily, there is no better way become a member. A true and honorable freak, we say of the Distorted View Sideshow, there are many ways to sign up. Go to superfreakscideshow. Com get full access to the entire archive of programs every week. We do brand new exclusive shows just for paying freaks. Yesterday was a Sideshow exclusive podcast and I’ll be doing another one tomorrow, so it is a great time to sign up. You’ll get access to the website and you also get RSS feeds. So you get the exclusive RSS feed, which contains all the free shows and exclusive programs. Also yearly Archive feeds. You can listen to every single past episode of Distorted View Daily that works with most podcasting apps. Most of them have an option where you can enter a username and password if a feed is password protected, but if that’s too complicated for you and you listen to DV through Spotify, you can now sign up and get exclusive shows right in the app. As a matter of fact, you sign up right in the app as well. Just search for Distorted View and Spotify. Very easy. Finally, same deal with Apple podcast. You can now subscribe and get exclusive shows right inside Apple Podcast subscribe and you’ll have instant access. It’s very simple for you, Apple freaks. All right, so there you go. Just a couple of ways to support DV again. Thank you guys so much. You’re the reason this show is able to continue. All right, three very quick stories. Now, first up, we got one from our most fucked upstate. Say it with me.

Tim Henson
Crazy.

Tim Henson
All right. Two Florida women are each facing a felony burglary charge after allegedly perpetrating a. 03:00, a.m. Glitter attack on a male victim. Have you ever wondered what kind of crimes are committed by white women? This is it. Tickle fights, glitter bombs, drive by cotton candying. I mean, were these ladies seven or something? Let’s read on. Investigators say. Sarah Franks, 29, and Caitlyn O’Donovan, 27, arrived early yesterday morning at the Clearwater residence of Jacob Colon Nice and began arguing with him while he was standing on his fenced balcony. Franks and Donovan cops allege each threw a container of glitter at Colon. Yeah, that’ll show them. The only thing throwing glitter at people is going to do. It’s going to make them even angrier. You’ve annoyed this person. Now I’m going to have glitter in my hair all fucking weak. I mean, if he wasn’t physically attacking you before, he sure as fuck is going to. Now, it would have been way worse if the glitter attack happened indoors again. You’ll be finding glitter in the carpet for years. This happened outside, though the wind will take most of it away. Franks and Donovan cops a ledge each threw a container of glitter at Colon, who was struck in the upper torso and head with the glitter. That’s assault arrest affidavits do not reveal the nature of the argument or the relationship between the parties. After pelting Colon, Franks climbed over the groundlevel fence and entered Colin’s apartment, where she engaged the victim again by throwing more containers of glitter at him. Oh, well, now it’s a serious crime. As I’ve outlined earlier, you don’t want glitter in the house. Franks then allegedly unlocked the front door to allow O’Donovan in. She was loaded up with some additional glitter as well, and she threw those containers at Colon. O’donovan and Franks shared an apartment about 2 miles from Colin’s home. I just love that they keep using his last name. Upon completing the glitter bombing, Franks kicked a window in Colin’s residence until it broke. It took more than one kick to break glass. A glass window? I mean, come on, women adorable. The pair then drove away from the apartment complex. Since it appears Colin was able to identify his assailants. Police arrested Franks and O’Donovan about an hour after the glitter attack. I bet you they had glitter on their hands. Very incriminating. The getaway car, police reported, was tracked back to the duo’s home. The automobile was still warm to the touch, and glitter was observed on the inside of the vehicle. I knew it that’s, according to Officer Matthew High, Frank and Donovan were arrested on a felony charge of burglary. I think that has less to do with the glitter and more about the kicking in the windows breaking into the house. But still, the lasting element of that attack is going to be the glitter. Franks was also charged with criminal mischief for allegedly breaking Colon’s window. Franks bonded out of the jail on Monday after posting $750 bond. The hell is that bitch? Getting the money? $72,000 can buy a lot of glitter. Don’t get on this bitch’s bad side. All right. O’donovan remains in custody at the county jail. A judge has ordered both women to have no contact with colon insert colon asshole joke here. I tried to refrain. I’m doing good today. All right, second story we have for you. I think a lot. If not, most doctors are a little conceited. They’re full of themselves. I save lives. In many cases, they do play God. So, yeah, they’re a little conceited. One doctor actually signed his name on some of his work. What the hell am I talking about? Well, a doctor in the UK has been removed from the country’s medical register for branding patients livers with his initials in the future. Any doctor who opens up this fat bastard and takes a peek inside, they’re going to see. I previously worked on him. I fixed up that liver. It’s a work of art. They will all know and appreciate my work. The incidents occurred in February and August of 2013, when Simon Branhall used a surgical device to write his initials on transplanted livers at the end of two surgeries. My question is, were those the only two livers he worked on? Or were these, like, exceptionally exquisite, flawless surgeries that he was proud of? The 1.6 inch initials were discovered by another doctor when an organ transplanted by Branhall failed after about a week. Well, looks like he shouldn’t have been so proud of himself. It was some shoddy workmanship, actually. In 2017, Bran Hall pleaded guilty and was convicted of two counts of common assault, according to documents from the UK’s Medical Practice Tribunal Service, which hears complaints against doctors and determines if they are fit to practice. He was fined £10,000 or about $13,600 and sentenced to community service. Ranhall had resigned from his job at Birmingham Queen Elizabeth Hospital in 2014 and had been suspended from practicing for at least five months in December of 2020. However, that very same tribunal invited Bran Hall to have his case reviewed in December of 2020, the service reviewed evidence in the case, including statements from Branhall, in which he stated that he foolishly made a Mark on the adjacent liver and admitted his actions in 2013 were stupid and entirely wrong. Ramhall’s legal counsel argued that the former doctor’s fitness to practice was no longer impaired and that this case had never been about his surgical skills. Rather, it was about Mr. Bramhill’s lack of respect for the dignity of his patients. I don’t think a lot of doctors have respect for their patients. They’re just sacks of meat they’re carving up. I mean, I understand if you’re a doctor, you got to sort of remove yourself emotionally from the patients. Otherwise you’d be breaking down and crying every time you deliver bad news or a patient dies. You got to be cold hearted bastards. The tribunal was satisfied that there was no discernible risk of repetition of the incident and said Graham Hill’s Fitness to practice is no longer impaired by reason of conviction. The order that suspended him from practice was revoked. So this guy’s back to practicing medicine, right? Not so fast. That case was resubmitted to the tribunal, and during a hearing again on Monday, the service said it had accepted that no lasting physical damage was caused to either patient. But Bramhill’s actions had caused one of them significant emotional harm. Like it’s like one of the patients that was affected is causing a big stink. After that hearing, an immediate suspension was put in place. Bramhill has a 28 day appeals period, so he’s still not able to practice medicine. And now he’s got to convince the panel again that he’s not a bad guy and he won’t brand anyone’s organs. It was a two time thing. All right, final story we have for you, did you? Snoop Dogg is apparently quite the entrepreneur. I don’t know all of the businesses he’s in. I know he’s not rapping that much anymore. He’s most known for, like, smoking weed, and I don’t think he even has a weed business. That’s what he should be doing. Instead, he’s going to market his own line of hot dogs. Oh, look right here. It does say that he sells gin. Okay, that makes sense. Gin and juice, cannabis, cookbooks and more. He’s dabbling in a lot of things. And now it’s going to be hot dogs six years after saying he ain’t ever eating a motherfucking hot dog again. Oh, that’s why he’s selling hot dogs. There’s a quote relating to hot dogs attributed to Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is apparently planning to launch his own brand of frankfurters called Snoop Doggs, according to a recent legal filing. Attorneys for the hip hop legend applied last month at the US Patent and Trademark Office for a federal trademark registration on the term Snoop Doggs, saying he plans to use it to sell hot dogs and other types of sausages. The December filing came with little detail on the plan products Snoop’s attorneys filed it as a so called intent to use application, meaning Snoop has not yet launched the brand, but that he has a serious intent to do so, and he wants to lock down the name ahead of time. An attorney for Snoop did not return a request for comment. A hot dog brand. Maybe it’s like marijuana, cannabis infused hot dogs, CBD hot dogs. That would be an interesting twist. Pot dogs. Holy shit. I’m going to trademark that name. I’m going into a direct competition with Snoop Dogg and his stupid Snoop Dogg. Why not call them pot dogs? That’s way better? I am sitting on a billion dollar idea right there. Who wants to invest in Tim Henson’s Hot Dog? All right, a hot dog brand would be just the latest consumer venture for Snoop. In 2015, the marijuana aficionado started a cannabis company called Leaf Spy. Snoop okay, and I stand corrected. And in 2020, the Gin and juice Wrapper debuted a liquor he called IndoGo Gin. He also released his own cookbooks, and he has repeatedly appeared in cooking television segments with Arthur Stewart. So again, why hot dogs? Well, back in 2016, Snoop made headlines with an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, in which he watched a step by step process of how hot dogs were made. And he tried to guess what he was watching. Here he is gross, of course. But here he is, figuring it out. Chocolate malt. Damn, it was chocolate malt being made. What is it? Beef jerky, hot dogs. This is a hot dog.

Tim Henson
He ain’t never eating a motherfucking hot dog. So maybe these hot dogs are going to be made different. Like nondiscustingly. Nothing is a sure thing, though. There have been some Snoop ventures that never really got off the ground. Back in 2011, Snoop filed a similar trademark for a Snoop Scoops. He was going to get into the ice cream business. Nothing ever came of that, so stay tuned. He’d be able to purchase Snoop hot dogs real soon. More importantly, soon we’ll be able to purchase hot dogs, another delicious product from Scrad Foods. That my friends, is your Distorted news or Wednesday? Let’s do a couple of voicemails. Get that out of here. Love to hear from you. Many ways to contact the show show at distortedview. Com. I’m all over social media at Distorted View on Twitter and Instagram Facebook. Comdistortedview show. Once again, don’t forget there is a discord where all the freaks hang out. It’s free. The link in your invite in is on the main navigation bar over there at Distorted View dot. Com. Just click on that. Either use the Web to get into the discord, or you could download the discord app or whatever. All right, real quick. I got to mention Patreon Patreon. Comdistortedview. That’s another way to support DV. You can pledge as little as one dollars over there. Every little bit helps. If you pledge $5, you get access to a special voicemail line where I will play your calls first. I just officially got caught up with all of my patron calls yesterday. So let’s do some regular calls now. Hey, Tim Ray Van Winkle calling, like at the end of March, I think that dumbass unicorn hamster called and was asking you something like something about Garfield collectible cups that set your mom’s house that he got from McDonald’s and they give you cancer and all that shit. Yes. Well, one of the interesting things that he did ask you was playing with kids and shit like that. Were they the ones that made you gay or something? And I had a really interesting thought, just as I was listening to you talk to that dumbass, which is this given lifestyles and things like that. If you had a choice to not be gay or not harm your loved ones, like Lord Douche, and whoever would you do it differently if you had a choice? And the reason why I asked that is because I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the advancements in science with CRISPR. I don’t know if you follow. That where they do basically like gene editing and stuff like that. And if indeed, homosexuality in animals and in humans is a genetic component. Like what percentage of those people that suffer from the trials and tribulations of being I suffer from homosexuality? Gay would actually change that about themselves. So I was just kind of curious because it’s like a really interesting yes. Thought. Well, to answer your question, and I’ve given this about 20 seconds worth of thought. Besides, you were talking. It would make a lot of sense for me to say yes. I wish I could just be normal, just be straight. You could grow up. I wouldn’t have to disappoint. My parents wouldn’t have to go through the coming out process and losing friends and people screaming horrible things at me out of their car as I’m just walking on the sidewalk. It’s like, how do you know I’m gay? It makes you very self conscious when someone screams fag at you like that. I’m not doing anything particularly homosexual. They just knew anyway, that being said, I would not choose to be straight. And I’ll tell you why, if I were straight, I would be a straight white man, which is, like, the worst thing you can be when it comes to free speech. You know what I mean? Like this way I’m still white, which I really wish I wasn’t. I could walk into one of those CRISPR machines and turn me into, like, I don’t know, a Pacific Islander or something. I would totally do it because I like having this shield. I can say horrible things, and it’s not quite as bad as if a straight white guy said it. Now. If I was ethnic, if I was more of a minority, I could get away with even more, which would be great for my career. But I’m stuck being a white guy. Also, I don’t even know if I would be doing Distorted View daily if I was straight. I don’t know if I’d have it in me. You really need to experience growing up being an outcast and not fitting in and being bullied, having bricks thrown at your head as you just are trying to walk to school, minding your own business, forming a sense of humor as a defense mechanism. Plus, gays are good at being sassy, catty bitches. I got a little bit of that in me. It would be kind of fun to see, like what kind of person I would have grown up to be if I was, quote, unquote normal. Hey, this is DV listener Chuck E. Cheese singles night calling in. Hold on. It’s another depressed color.

Tim Henson
Please don’t blow your brains out. As I say, every time a depressed listener calls in, I need each and every one of you. Hey, I really like that Monster Gangbang song. Sure. Can you play that at the end of the show? Well, I’m sure this is going to be played around the Christmas time of year, but I still like to hear it. We’ll play a little bit of Monster Gang Bang at the end of the show for you. Why not? If it means you’re not going to kill yourself, I’ll do it. Got to promise me, though, you’re not going to hang yourself. No ODing on pills. Let’s do one more call. Happy New Year, Tim. Obviously listener first time caller. He’s calling at the end of October. Close to say, listening to the April 5, 2017 show, you played a news article about a guy who claims he’s from four years in the future who came back and attacked an Arby’s and said that that is the way that people get food in four years. In the future. I think you have an actual time traveler on your hands. Yes, that is how people get food now. Everyone is so angry. Just wanted to let you know. Juggle juggle. Sometimes I’ll go to a fast food restaurant when I’m not even hungry because I’m anticipating a brawl. And I figure by the end of the fight I’ll work up an appetite either because I was part of the fight, worked up a sweat and an appetite, or I won’t be able to order my food until after the restaurant clears out. The police get their statements and all that. All right. That is all the time we have on this edition of the show. Wants you guys to email me show at distortedview. Com. Distortedview dot. Com is our official website voicemail line for you. 20 6644 63. That’s 206 60

Tim Henson
SGD. Tell all your friends about the shots. Don’t forget to rate us and review us forever. You can criticize podcasts and remember tomorrow’s episode is going to be Sideshow exclusive. If you want to hear it, you got to sign up, support the show superfreaksajo. Com. Otherwise I will see you back. End the week on Friday. Until then, have a great day. Bye, everybody.

Tim Henson
It was a stormy night and Dracula’s place. The Wolf man had a fog egg in his face. Frankie’s Pride with her nipples clamped. The mummy’s cock was wet and damp. The

Tim Henson
balls. The smell of Astrofly wasping in the air.

Tim Henson
Stinkiest frightened light

Tim Henson
man. Even a little satanic masturbation. Yes, Frankenstein tried a little cat play. He did it on Dracula, but he wasn’t gay. So Drac got mad and speared some on the demon. Soon there was a frothy mix of shit and demon. The time had come and all were nude peeking from the windows. It sure looked nude. By the end of the night the Castle was defiled by Feasty snot in other bile was a Musta gangbang.

Tim Henson
That’s all I got so far. This has been another excellent podcast from the Straw Media Group. Learn more at Strad. Net.

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