ON TODAY’S SHOW:
| Introduction | 0:00.000 |
| Two Buddies With Daddy Issues | 1:49.104 |
| Crying And Hitting Yourself To Achieve Climax | 10:52.967 |
| Dude Gagging It All Up | 11:52.827 |
| Woman’s Dead Pet Squirrel Went Missing | 13:30.229 |
| Let God Blow Up Your Phone With Thirsty Texts | 15:53.954 |
| Novelty Song Singer Is Obsessed With Peen | 20:52.933 |
| Galileo Has Some Breaking News For Us | 25:03.782 |
| Sign Up For The Sideshow! | 27:09.697 |
| Afroman Embarasses Police | 27:57.090 |
| Woman Keeps Running Over Friend With Car | 33:15.566 |
| Jealous Husband Cuts Off And Keeps Another Man’s Penis | 37:39.675 |
| Kids Ride On Top Car, Calamity Ensues | 39:45.690 |
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