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QUICK AND DIRTY TRANSCRIPT:

Timmyboo
It breaks its Friday, January 7, 2022. Coming up on the program today, the sound of loose dentures up and down the shaft of a penis. Plus calling your mommy when you’ve been caught curving on a child crab legs in oral sex, dinner and dinner, dessert. And when you fart too hard in a jar, all is coming up today.

Timmyboo
Yes, dimension back here with you for the Friday podcast. I have a great show for you today. I went and did my stupid sleep study. Everything was fine. The ambient kicked in, did its job. I got a good, I don’t know, 5 hours of sleep. So the doctor’s got some usable data, got some REM cycles in there. That’s the good shit. The CPAP mask they chose for me was weird because it was just like, the nostril thing. Basically, it’s just like this mess that goes inside your nose and shoots jet streams of air. And I told the guy at the beginning I’m like, Look, I know when I go to sleep, I breathe through my mouth. I’m a mouth breather. It’s not appealing. Not attractive, embarrassing. But that’s how I sleep. And he was like, Well, most people aren’t actually mouth breathers, but they’re not getting enough air or whatever. So we’re just going to make you breathe through your nose later on in the night. We might change your mask if you’re really having a hard time. And I just assumed I’m just going to end up sleeping through my mouth. But you can’t really do that when air is being shot up your nostril. I’ve never been on oxygen or anything before. So this was all completely foreign to me. But when I went to open my mouth, even to talk, that jet stream of air would come out. It goes up through your nose. And I guess I never really thought of this, but, yeah, all the holes are kind of connected. So I went to talk and I just heard it was the air that was being shot at my nose coming out of my mouth. I kind of felt like a superhero, some sort of, like, Blizzard monster. You open your mouth, I’m frostbite it’s interesting for me. Probably not for you, but today I’ve been breathing through my nose way easier. And my theory as dumb as it sounds is that I don’t have sleep apnea. I just had a roadblock of boogers way up in my nose that I haven’t been able to get. And this CPAP machine kind of power washed them up and out. It broke up the chunks, got them loose, and now my Airways are clear. I didn’t want to bring that theory up with a doctor. I think he’s under the impression I’m a white supremacist because I had that fucking Mead skeleton. Mead skeleton is going to get me killed. Do black lives matter when they go splatter? You know, that awful song of his? Well, it’s catchy as fuck, apparently. And I wasn’t around anyone when I was singing. I was in my little sleep study room and it took me a good 1015 minutes with that song bopping around my head and coming out of my mouth was all that stuff. I realized there’s a camera in my room they can hear and see everything I’m doing. I felt super self conscious and I felt bad. Thankfully, the guy working with me was white. I guess I would have really felt awful if it was a black person helping me out. Although, you know, I’d never let that happen. A black doctor. Are you serious? No. Get me a white or Indian. Those are the only doctors I will deal with. Thank you. I’m kidding, obviously, although sometimes it’s hard to tell, but yeah, this guy was white, but still it’s like overcompensating the rest of the night before I went to bed, I was watching The Fresh Prince of Belair, and I turned the audio up. I don’t know if I was a racist. I would not be watching the antics of Will Smith. I would find that disgusting repulsive, but no, I know good black entertainment. When I see it, I can appreciate it. And I watch it. I think that show deserved more Emmys. Then I felt silly and I turned on TLC and just watched like, my 600 pound life. The guy eventually came on the intercom and was like, hey, I’m going to hook you up in about five minutes, so get ready. And I almost turned it on Bet just so he could see. I appreciate the black arts, although, to be honest, I hate Bet. Why do they got to all be so in your face with the blackness? Tone it down, we get it. We can see the color of your skin, right? My right, guys. Come on. Who’s with me again? I’m kidding. That was my eventful night. Freaks had a great time. By the way. I did post a Sideshow exclusive podcast yesterday. It was a little on the short side, so we’re going to do another exclusive program this weekend. What does that mean for you? Well, it’s a great time to sign up for the sideshow. I’m just fire hosing the exclusive content on you guys this week. All right. I’ve got some great audio to share with you today. Today. I finally took a peek for the first time since we went on break at all of the audio video submissions in our discord. Oh, so much great stuff you guys are finding Tyler sorcerex scum Hook, Haley’s, Comet, Trace, Late Chase, Titties category five aboarded feet. You guys have just been going crazy in there, and I’ve got some of my favorite I wanted to share with you today. First up, a very musical, gaping asshole. This woman’s got a real talent here. Very cavernous sound. She’s like pushing out her asshole is in a constant state of gap. It never completely closes up.

Timmyboo
Okay, right there. That’s the part of the clip that sold me. I was like, yeah, we’ve got to play this one on Distorted View Daily. It’s like her ass was burping. I’ve never heard anything quite like that. Now she is fucking herself with a giant, bad Dragon style dildo, and when she pulls it out, that’s when you hear the very satisfying anal burp. I’ve listened to this thing like, 20 times. I can’t believe that’s real.

Timmyboo
And again, that, I guess, is just one of the standard sounds her ass makes. Now she’s in a different position. She’s like, up on all fours, fucking herself

Timmyboo
again.

Timmyboo
You have got to be shitting me. It’s like her ass is gagging on this dildo and it’s gasping for air, or it just has indigestion.

Timmyboo
This might be the greatest anal gap audio we’ve played

Timmyboo
now. While that last little fart doesn’t sound noteworthy, I’m actually quite concerned for her because her ass is making that noise, even though she’s got the dildo still crammed in her anus. How is the air escaping? The dildo is huge and stretching her out. I don’t see any gaps where the air can come out.

Timmyboo
One last, very basic part. Her butthole is so chatty today. Well, thank you very much for that amazing submission. Moving on now. Got another porn clip. I like this one just for the creativity. There’s not a lot of great audio in the traditional sense here. I like things squishy, wet, crunchy, and verbal. I mean, this is an audio medium. I like things that are really going to pop, but I’ll give the website Fuckmateure dot com some credit here. It’s not every day you see a mature woman giving a gum job while the man has taken her dentures and is pressing them together up against the base of his cock. So he’s kind of like jerking off the base of his cock with the dentures. Meanwhile, Granny is working the tip. The reason why I’m playing this for you is not because these people are verbal or even that granny’s gagging here. It’s that you can hear the dentures clattering as he’s jerking his penis off with them. You got to listen closely, but it’s there

Timmyboo
right there. Is it clattering or Chattering oh, baby, he’s apparently feeding this old woman for dentures. Okay, she’s putting the teeth back in her mouth, but I noticed she’s putting the top teeth in the wrong way. You know how? Like the top teeth point down, super. She’s got the teeth super like the white of the teeth pressing up against her top gums. Kind of shocking how long it takes her to get this right. That brings us to our next issue. You can’t just have dentures floating around your head like that. You need to adhere them, right? Use some Polydent or fix a dent or whatever people use to stick their dentures to the roof of their mouth. They’re just swimming around in her head, though, as she continues to try to give a blowjob again, you can hear it. Clattering, Chattering Whatever.

Timmyboo
Yeah, her teeth are coming out. I’ve got to make this an animated GIF and post it on at Extreme TV. That’s the Twitter account where all the real nasty stuff goes. Let’s switch gears now to child predators. We’ve had our fun here on the podcast messing around with these creeps. Obviously, Chris Hanson is the OG with to catch a predator. Well, now there are tons of YouTube channels doing the same thing, tricking pedophiles into thinking they’re meeting young boys or girls or whatever. Instead, they’re being confronted. And sometimes I think the police are called. Other times, it’s really just about humiliating the pedophile, making them do degrading things. I saw a video recently of one of these guys. I think his account was banned after this, but he makes the pedophiles do incredibly degrading or dangerous things as a way of saying, I’m sorry I’ll never do this again. I’ll never go after a young girl because that works, right? Stick a firecracker up your ass, let it explode. And then we’ll know you’re sorry for wanting to snip a little girl’s panties. All will be forgiven. In the video, I saw a YouTuber made a child predator jump into a river or Lake or something, but then he couldn’t get out. He was like drowning. And thankfully, they pulled him out. The clip I have for you today just features a pedophile freaking out when he realizes what’s going on. Benjamin. Sorry. Creep catcher. Yeah, you’re in deep shit. You got the creep catchers after you. Sometimes the best part of these things are the name of the organization. There’s creep Catchers, predator, poachers, per, pinchers, sicko snatchers, and weirdo Wranglers. All right, let’s hear how this guy responds to being caught. Just so you know, you’re under Citizen’s arrest. The police are on their way. Calm down, okay? I’m not your bro.

Timmyboo
Now, all of a sudden, you have a problem with touching. Weren’t you here to finger a twelve year old girl? That touching is okay,

Timmyboo
but never touch her anyway, man, I swear to God really like that. So you didn’t offer her ten inches. You didn’t say that, but I’m not going to do it. I love these guys who are always appalled. What? I would never touch a girl. No, we have the transcript here where you say you want to Pierce her Virgin hole with your fat nine inches. Well, yeah, I said that, but I didn’t mean it. It’s the Internet. Nothing’s real there. That’s okay. I never touched her anyway, man. I swear to God really like that. There’s some asterisks there. I mean, I touch her with my penis. Yes, but I wouldn’t lay a hand on her. You didn’t offer her tenant.

Timmyboo
You should probably call your parents

Timmyboo
Fort. This is one of those clips where the more I listen to it, the more I’m like this isn’t real. My bullshit senses are tingling. I can smell mediocre acting a mile away. The thing that really sets it off is the. I’m going to call my mom. Touch me. You should probably call your parents.

Timmyboo
Thank you. Let it go. There is someone on the other end. I can hear a woman saying, Let him go. Fucking touch me. You’re going. Let me go. No, let me go. Your son’s a pedophile. Let me go. And my parents said, Let me go real quick and it won’t be pretty. Let’s call me Ryan. Are you going to try to ride? I’m going to go home. No, you’re not right. Belong. Okay. He may be slow. I can’t figure if it’s acting or if this man’s retarded, you’ll be the judge. Switching gears again. There’s a lot of sharp right turns on this podcast. It’s like, let me tell you about my sleep apnea results. And the very next thing is denture porn, followed by pedophiles. And now a woman singing about crab legs. I’ve never been known for my smooth transitions. I think it’s unnecessary. Just move right into the next piece of content. Ridiculous. It’s dumb. It’s Crab Legs by Asian a come on, crab legs. You’re having trouble understanding her. She’s singing Crab Legs and Head. That does sound like the perfect night, doesn’t it? The start of this video is this woman here sitting at a table with just a mountain of crab legs. I first thought was, what an amazing way this is to write off expensive foods. I love lobster. I love crab legs. I can’t afford them. I could if it was a business deduction. That’s really why I think she came up with a song called Crab Legs.

Timmyboo
It’s a very basic song, right? I like seafood. I like sex. Give me crab legs. Give me headsman. Good pussy with no smell. You know what this idea of crab legs and head is a perfect idea. If you are a woman with a rancid cunt, just blame the smell on the crab legs. I know what this woman’s up to. Trying to trick her man into eating bad pussy. Fishy, pussy, pussy that has turned. You need to go to the Gynecologist, not Red Lobster. I have one more song I wanted to share with you today. I believe this was posted in the discord as well, and it was positioned as a potential Linda Finkel Hall of Fame nominee. But I listened to this and I actually thought this was funny, even though I’m a big cock smoking fairy and I most certainly lean left. I thought this song, what to Get a Liberal for Christmas was enjoyable. Take a listen.

Timmyboo
See that line I thought was pretty clever.

Timmyboo
So this song must be pretty old, even though it was posted on January 4 of this year. They’re talking about the Limbaugh letter. Rush Limbaugh is not writing many letters right now. Maybe from Hell

Timmyboo
subscription to the Hannity newsletter. You get the idea, though. I mean, the rest of the song is just listing some more conservative things. Goodbye, the Liberal in your life. Speaking of conservative, we recently featured that right wing pastor Shane Vaughn, and I quickly fell in love with him just the way he talks. His voice is great. Here he is stating, if you don’t agree with Trump about anything, really, you’re going against God, you hate Jesus and you’re turning your back on God. Basically. Now, many people have told me that they’re losing faith in Donald Trump because of his stand on the vaccine. Tell me how quickly people will turn on someone they believe to be appointed by God. God made Donald Trump President. People idolize this guy. There are Trump stores where you can buy, like, physical stores in strip malls and stuff chock full of MAGA shit. Trump said one thing about the vaccine. I got the vaccine and I got the booster. You should too. It works, which if you took politics out of it, it’s like not a really controversial thing to say. Billions of people at this point have taken the vaccine. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay if you get vaccinated, right? That’s all Donald Trump is saying. And people are turning on him. Let me correct you. This guy is a huge Donald Trump supporter, though, so he’s coming to his defense here to correct you. You’re not losing faith in Donald Trump because it was not Donald Trump that put Donald Trump in that office four years before Donald Trump was ever known about running for office. Yahweh, the God of heaven, spoke through the mouth of a Prophet. I’m guessing that Prophet is Shane Vaughn and said that a man named Donald would be put into the White House. And that man, Donald would be the servant of Yahweh to restore America. And guess what else? That man that God said that this man would serve two terms. So if you’re God kind of fucked up there losing faith and dumber, maybe God had some regrets after putting Donald Trump in the White House. He’s like, what the fuck did I just do? This is the last time I go out for soccer bombs with St. Peter. Before I make a big decision at the time, it seemed like a cool, funny thing to do. Let’s make a game show host the leader of the free world. Yikes, that was a bad call. So if you’re losing faith in Donald Trump, you’re really losing faith in the God that put him in office. And that’s a dangerous thing. You’re a bad Christian. That’s what Shane is saying here. You lost your faith in God, and you’re Hellbound Congrats heathen. Enjoy eternal damnation. I’ve got one more kind of right wing clip here. Remember the other day on the podcast, I played audio of Chris Chan calling from prison. A lot of people making prison calls lately. Now I’ve got audio from the QAnon shaman. Remember that guy, the shirtless dude with the furry hat and the horns stormed the Capitol during the insurrection? It was kind of like the mascot. Really, when faced with prison during his trial or hearing or whatever. I seem to recall the QAnon shaman kind of renouncing QAnon and these extreme right wing ideas. But now that he’s in prison, it’s over with, the trial is over with. He’s back to just being a nutcase. Here he is talking to SteelTruth com about advanced underground cities. The government is hiding from you. This is something else. I’d like to mention. These deep underground military bases. Okay, they are essentially a breakaway civilization because they have used billions upon billions of dollars to technologically grow without the knowledge of the public. I’m sure there’s, like, a kernel of truth to what he’s saying. Yeah, the government probably has some advanced technologies. Yeah, they probably operate some underground bases. It’s not out of the realm of possibilities, but it gets crazier technologically grow without the knowledge of the public. And so for every year, the human civilization progresses on the surface, the military industrial complex, deep underground bases. They have progressed in many cases, like five to ten years, sometimes ten to 20 years. Every year here on the surface of the Earth is like ten years technologically for the secret underground civilization. And that quickly adds up as far as technology is concerned. Okay. And if you realize that they’ve been doing this ever since, like the 50s and where they are at technologically right now is like several hundred years ahead of where we are technologically. And we still can’t get goddamn flying cars when the truth about these paths ends up surfacing to our civilization. Up here, we are going to see a whole new world. Okay, far beyond most people’s imagining a whole new world. A new, fantastic bonus. No one to tell us. No, but where to go or say we’re only dreaming a whole new world. A dustling place I never knew. But when I’m way up here, it’s Crystal clear now I’m in a whole new world with you. Thank you, queuing on Shaman. And with that, let’s get into the crazy bizarre twist it up on the news right up.

Timmyboo
There are now even more ways to become Sideshow members. Superfreak Sideshow. Com that’s the website where you can sign up, download new and exclusive episodes of DV. Also get a password protected RSS feed that works with most podcasting apps every week. Of course, we do multiple exclusive shows just for paying freaks. Now, if you primarily use Spotify, you can get exclusive content through that app. You just have to sign up through Spotify right in the app, you’ll gain access to all of the free shows and exclusive programs. Got a year’s worth of exclusive programs currently available, adding more. And finally you can sign up right in the Apple Podcast app. It’s a quick and easy way to sign up. You just pay through Apple, your Apple ID or whatever and again gain access to all the free shows and exclusive programs. Same deal. There is a year’s worth of exclusive shows currently and every day. I’m adding older episodes, so there’s always something new old to listen to. Don’t forget this weekend I’ll be back with another exclusive podcast, the third one this week. So be on the lookout for that. Sideshow breaks. I’ll write three very quick stories now, first up recently on the podcast. I would say what sometime towards the end of December, maybe even early January. I don’t remember what happened on yesterday’s show, let alone a week or two ago, but we read a story about a reality TV star who is bottling and selling her farts. Now those are the farts I would pay good money for. Those are some meaty farts. Those farts couldn’t be contained in just like a dainty Mason jar. Those beefers are going to require a Growler, something big with a handle. The stink can only be contained in something like a gallon jug. Yeah. You know, if this woman is bottling your farts, you’re going to get your money’s worth some blonde skinny bitch who appeared in a couple of episodes of a reality show. Her farts are obviously going to be like stuck up farts girly, farts farts that think their shit don’t stink that I don’t need no uppity farts. Thank you. All right. What the hell am I talking about here? Well, a former 90 day fiance star who made a staggering $50,000 a week from selling her Farts in a jar has revealed she was rushed to the hospital. She pushed too hard. You overdid it. Now you know how those poor chickens feel, always having to push out eggs. I feel like PETA could jump on this and make a scathing. Advertisement Stephanie Mado recently shed light on her unusual stream of income, explaining how she utilized her 2600 strong followers as her customer base to sell her pungent product, which retailed at a pricey $1,000 a jar. By the way, you can still buy comfort candles in the distorted new store, and it’s a lot cheaper than $1,000, and it actually smells pleasant. Act now, before we shut down the store for the year. At one point, demand was so high for Stephanie’s Farts that she was producing up to 50 jars worth of farts a week. However, she may have squeezed out one too many as the reality star had to make a trip to the hospital, she said. I thought I was having a stroke. I would have thought it would be like an aneurysm situation, right? She has these orders. She has to fill five jars worth of her farts. She can’t make the gas, so she’s pushing real hard. She’s got that vein popping in her forehead. Come on, shit it out and her head explodes. She just thought she was having a stroke. I thought I was having a stroke and that these were my final moments. I was overdoing it. I have a hard time believing this. I mean, call me a cynic, but I think she’s just trying to get back in the news to promote her fart jars some more. Next thing you know, she’s going to say, she’s retiring from the fart jar business, and then she’s going to be like, at the end of next month, that’s it no more farts. So if you want your farts in a jar, you better act now and she’s going to Jack up the price. Makes some exclusive last minute collector’s edition far jars retire a millionaire. All right, she said. I thought I was having a stroke, and these were my final moments. I was overdoing it. Stephanie, 31, recalled how she consumed three protein shakes and a huge bowl of black bean soup in one day before feeling that something was not right. With a pressure in her stomach that moved upwards throughout her body, it was quite hard to breathe, and every time I tried to breathe, I’d feel a pinching sensation around my heart and, quote, that made my anxiety escalate. I actually called my friend and asked if they could come over and drive me to the hospital because I thought I was experiencing a heart attack. Stephanie, who hails from Connecticut, arrived at the hospital later that evening but didn’t tell the doctors about her unique career. Only the changes made to her diet. It was made clear that what I was experiencing wasn’t a stroke or a heart attack, but very intense gas pains. I hope while she was at the hospital, she had her jars delivered there because, you know, they gave her some gas relief pills or something, and she was farting up a storm for the next couple of hours. Come on, you got to think about your business. Abc always be closing those jars full of farts. Good God. I was advised to change my diet and take a gas suppressant medication, which has effectively ended my business. Yeah, I would totally deal with gas pain in my stomach in exchange for $50,000 a week. Painful stomach bloating is a small price to pay. Stephanie has now retired from selling Farts in a jar, a relief to her family, but she managed to find another unique way of making money from it. Oh, no. Her clients will no longer be able to own the physical jar of Stephanie’s gas, but they will be able to purchase them as digital artwork on the blockchain. Yes, the bitch is selling Fart NFTs it’s stupid. It’s appalling, and I’m just upset that I didn’t think of it first. I could still sell the first NFT comparison. Timmy Boo is going to be a crypto pioneer. Second story we have for you today. I urge you all to check out the chapter artwork right now. Or if for some reason you can’t see it, go to distortoview. Com or superfreaksajo. Com. I have made this today’s featured image. You may have seen these two guys before. They’re kind of almost memes at this point. They’re old dudes who have had an insane amount of cosmetic surgery done. They look like puppets. You know that old music video for the Phil Collins song Land of Confusion. I guess it’s a Genesis song. Land of Confusion. That’s what these guys look like. Go and watch Land of Confusion on YouTube. Fucking creepy as shit. Apparently, these guys are twins. I’m sorry. We’re twins. They’re dead now. Controversial French TV stars and famous twins Igor and Greetja Bogdanov were inseparable in life, and apparently in death, they refused to be vaccinated against the coronavirus. Now I’m not here to preach about vaccines and how old people should totally get the vaccine. And they’re stupid if they’re not too, because they’re feeble and weak, they have all people should be loaded up with vaccines. Even if you come to find out in 1015 years, we learned that this coronavirus vaccine has given us all cancer, making our Dicks fall off or whatever old people will have already died. It doesn’t matter 1015 years. You’re not going to be around. You got nothing to lose. But again, I’m not here to preach. All I’m saying is when you’ve had so much surgery and filler and fucking shit pumped in your body to make you look younger. Why the hell would you be vaccine hesitant. Your whole fucking life is one medical experiment after another. Yeah, they refuse to be vaccinated against the coronavirus, believing their good health would save them. They were admitted to the hospital on the same day last month and diagnosed with COVID-19. You can pretty much write the rest of that story. The younger twin, Richka, died in intensive care on December 28. Igor followed him six days later on January 3. They were both 72 years old. The twins were TV stars in France in the 1980s, famous as much for their offbeat popular science shows. As for their good looks. Yeah, it’s one of those cases where these famous people are known for their good looks. And as they get older, they want to hold on to that Fame. Oh, they’re desperately trying to cling to those good looks and they just end up looking weirder and weirder and weirder. The pair were inseparable, and they were in and out of the spotlight for most of their adult lives. In 1979, they launched the first TV show entirely about science fiction called Temps Ex, accused by academics of dumbing down science. It was that approach that made the show so popular with their audience. The news article. This is basically their obituary, right? This is announcing their death. But the news is kind of mean. They’re taking some shots at them here. The two studied applied mathematics before taking their science to television. They later went on to scrape just enough points to earn doctorates in physics. Though there was huge controversy surrounding their thesis on the Big Bang theory and on space time links, there were also accusations of plagiarism. An internal University investigation concluded that there was no scientific value to their work, but they were still awarded the doctorate. That’s how that works. Everything you wrote in this paper is garbage. There’s no value to it whatsoever. Congratulations. You’re now doctors. One scientist called the twins, writing, quote, delightfully meaningless combinations of buzzwords, but worried that their evidence had nonetheless been taken seriously. What really interests me is this next line. Later, the two prompted speculation that they had undergone cosmetic surgery as their prominent cheekbones and facial features became even more pronounced. But they denied ever having surgery. Guys, again, I urge you to look at these two freaks. There’s no way this happens in nature. These are manmade creatures from the Arts and Crafts Department. They denied ever having surgery, however, seeking as always, to maintain an air of mystery. They said they had experimented with unnamed technologies to enhance their features. Do you think they bought a hole underground where the government has their advanced civilizations technologies 2300 years into the future? And they were like, hey, boys, bognadoff twins. Here. What type of gizmos gadgets creams and lasers do you have to make us look younger? And this was the end result. So the problem is, as the QAnon shaman, let us know, this is the US government, the military working on advanced technologies. I don’t think their main concern is the advancements of cosmetic surgery. We’re really more about psychological warfare, weather manipulation, laser beam death rays. The twins were like, yeah, try using those lasers on our face. You got to be able to adjust. Turn it down a little. Just a few clicks. Aim it right at our face. See how that works? Long as they were happy with the way they looked anyway. Rest in peace, boys. Final story we have for you today. Well, North Korea is at it again. Remember a few years ago when Kim Jong UN was alive? There were all these wild stories that the government was trying to push. Stuff like Kim Jong UN does not defecate Kim Jong UN also invented the hamburger. Just weird shit like that. But similar bold claims are now coming to light. The regime’s propaganda mouthpiece said the late Kim Jong Il dreamed up the burrito back in 2011. Yeah, he created the burrito, and prior to 2011, it didn’t exist. Even though Chipotle existed prior to 2011. Taco Bell existed before 2011. I mean, not in North Korea. Those people don’t know what’s going on. They’re very isolated. Yeah, they said that he created the burrito back in 2011, shortly before his death from a massive heart attack. Maybe the claim was in 2011, but he created the burrito many decades ago. I don’t know. The wild claim follows an equally crazy propaganda story that alleged that Kim Jong Il invented a dish called Double Bread with Meat, which is a hamburger. Imagine creating the world’s first burrito and then on top of it all, lightning strikes again, and he creates the hamburger, another beloved dish, a real man of innovation. It’s funny because no one in his country has probably ever eaten a hamburger or a burrito. You pretty much just stick with rice and bugs. The burritos were called wheat wraps. According to Kim Jong Il, the Rodong Simmon newspaper claimed that Zhang Il’s Tubby tyrant son, Kim Jong UN, is following in the footsteps of his dad by taking a meticulous interest in the dish, specifically burritos. In state TV news footage, North Koreans can be seen devouring burritos at a stand outside the Kamsong Food factory. The broadcast also showed a mural of Kim Jong Il grinning in a kitchen where burritos were being prepared. What the fuck is it with him and burritos? I mean, they are pretty fantastic. Someone should let these people know about Tacos, especially like Crunchy Tacos. Oh, my God, I think they would love that. Maybe Kim Jong UN can invent it. While the propaganda paints a picture of abundant street food, those who have escaped the secretive state insist that such dishes are virtually nonexistent. Right? Hyunsong Li, who was born into an elite North Korean family but fled the country in 2014, said most of his countrymen couldn’t even dream of such a meal. He said. The majority of citizens do not have money to buy foreign food. As a matter of fact, in the 1990s, bread and butter lovers were satirized and criticized as socialist traders. How dare you enjoy the taste of such decadents bread and butter? Why do you need butter? Bread is good enough. In many cases, he added, there simply weren’t the ingredients to recreate foreign foods. Quote, I’ve never seen any burritos or wraps on sale in North Korea, he said. Perhaps there were no restaurants where you could eat burritos and wraps. Until now, the penetration rate of Western food in North Korea is extremely low because there are very few restaurants where you can eat it, and the food ingredients are not diverse. Various cooking ingredients such as milk, cheese and spices, are absolutely lacking. Now, there are some differences very apparent between the North Korean burrito and normal burritos. The North Korean version seems to feature some kind of Donner meat, and it’s also like stuffed with a mix of cabbage and carrots. Kim Jongil advised that the wheat wraps are best accompanied by mineral water in the summer and hot tea in the winter. While ruling North Korea, he also claimed that sawdust was full of vitamins and nutrients. That’s what you people should really be eating. Sawdust. Isn’t that how they make the bread at Subway? Oh, my God. Maybe Kim Jongil created Subway subs. Rowan Beard, a guide with Young Pioneer Tours, which specializes in organizing North Korean trip, said he had not encountered the dish in Pyongyang away from propaganda. Food shortages remain a big problem for North Korea, with Kim Jongun himself acknowledging just last June that the situation was tense. Well, now the same thing is happening here in the United States. I mean, I hate to bring this up, but we are quickly becoming a third world country. I mean, there are food shortages and supply chain issues. I was at the grocery store just yesterday looking for Frito scoops. You can’t find them. And then I did a search. Apparently, there is a nationwide shortage of Frito corn chips. I had to go with the store brand and they suck and they’re not scoops. I need the scoops. Otherwise they’re too small and then they break off. You can’t scoop. You need the scoops. If you’re going to scoop Frito lights, get your shit together. I saw Doritos they got Doritos they have those disgusting funnies? It’s always the one thing I want. The stores are out of. I want Fritos. I can’t have them. I want a CPAP machine so I can breathe at night. Those are on back order. All right, there you go. It’s like we’re living in North Korea. Really? There you go. That my friends, is your store to do is for Friday. Let’s do a couple of voicemails and get the hell out of here. Love to hear from your freaks. And there are many ways to contact the show show at Distorted view. Com. That’s my email address. Voicemail line for you. 20 6644 63. We’re all over social media at Distorted View on Twitter and Instagram. Facebook. Comdistortedview. Show also follow my other Twitter account at Extreme TV. If you want to see what the hell was I going to post the denture porn. I think it was the denture porn. I’m going to make an animated for that. All right, let’s check in with a few of you freaks. Timmy Boo is DJC calling from the Tesla of Love to leave two complaints. Oh, no, we got two complaints today. First of all, I didn’t appreciate your clip the other day about sucking Dicks for New Year’s tradition. You’re being very gay in that clip and I just was offended and didn’t appreciate it. Second, of all. Sounds like a Korean woman. She’s too Korean enough for the Korean nose stories from DJ. She’s an idiot. And now I have to deal with Distorted View customer service, which is nonexistent. I paid twice for my sideshow. I didn’t realize I was on auto bill and I paid a second time. As much as I love you. And tell you the truth, really, if you kept the $60 wouldn’t kill me this year. But if you can throw a credit for the $50 my way and I’ll just stick, I don’t do that for the higher price because I love you. I love the show, and it’s definitely worth every penny I spend on it. But you want money back. I see. Hook me up. Tiffany Boo. I sent you emails. You never answer. I was about to say, well, you need to email me about that. It’s about people wanting money back. I rarely respond. I must have missed that because of the holidays and stuff. I will track that down and we will take care of your issue because you’re an idiot and you don’t realize what a subscription is. Hey, Tim, it’s Greg from Austin calling. I’m a couple of days behind on the show. I’m listening to Monday, the January 3 Show, The Side Show exclusive podcast, and I’m going to go out on a limb here, and I’m going to guess that by the time you play this voicemail, Ellie’s would have called in to explain the crazy preacher talking about BLM and talking about the God of Yeshua, pronounced that way before. What the fuck is Yeshua. Same as Yahweh. Oh, yes. I was kind of told you that is the keeper name of Jesus. And it’s also the root form of the name Joshua. The name Jesus is the Greek version of that name. Why do people have to be so fancy? Did I get that right now? I call in and explain all this already. Well, thank you very much for the information. He was just talking about Jesus. Next up here. Yes, collar. Go right ahead. Hey, Tim. Haley’s comment calling up about the recent episode titled Butt Blood and the Shutters. I think I would make an excellent punk rock band name. That’s exactly what I was going for. By the way, I thought of that when I wrote it. I’m like that would make a great band name. I would like to suggest that maybe you do a parody song as the lead singer of The Blood and the Shutters got a great name for a Sideshow exclusive episode and came from a clip of a woman who did not get vaccinated. Right. But she thinks the vaccine is causing her ass to drip blood. It was the craziest thing, I guess, because of vaccine shedding, which isn’t a thing. But this woman thinks other people who are vaccinated are making her shit blood. It was completely nutty. Check it out. It was on yesterday’s Sideshow exclusive program. All right, that is all the time we have on this edition of the show. Want you guys to melbish? Jump at distortedviewwe. Com. Distorted view. Com is our official website voicemailing for you. 206 644 63s 206 oh, God, is it? Oh, God, we’re at the Distortion STD. Tell all your friends about the show. Don’t forget to rate us and review us wherever you can. Criticize Podcasts Guys thank you so much for a great week of programs. Be back on Monday to do it all over again. Until then. Bye, everybody.

Timmyboo
It’s Friday, baby fuck. Yeah. It’s the weekend, baby fuck. Yeah. Friday, baby fuck the Weekend baby.

Timmyboo
This has been another excellent podcast from the Straw Media Group. Learn more at straw. Net.

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