On Today’s Show:
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Listen to the hit program Wet Market Live. Want a product featured on the show? Check out these links to Adam And Eve. Remember to use PROMO CODE FREAK at check out for 50% off just about any item. Plus: free gifts, free movies, and free movies!
Wet Market’s Deal Of The Day: Eve’s Fetish Dreams Ball gag!
Cheap Thrills She-Devil Stroker
Wicked Foam ‘N Fresh Toy Cleaner
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AI Transcript:
The weather is starting to cool, leaves are falling, and the air is crisp.
That can only mean one thing.
It’s fall.
Time to pack your summertime vaginal lube flavors away.
See you next year, Orchard Jerry cunt butter.
So long, sun-kissed strawberry smach.
Swap that sunny bright gash grease with the cozy warmth of autumn lubes.
Wait, don’t tell me you don’t have fall time lubes.
Well then, you better tune in to Friday’s cornucopia of cream special, right here on Shop A.E.
From apple cider to pumpkin spice to pecan pie, we’ve got water-based and silicone lubricants to celebrate the entire season.
It’ll make anyone going down on you say, Oh, God, what a wonderful harvest time pussy patch I find myself in.
Oh, yeah.
Cornucopia of Creams, this Friday at 8 p.m., right here on Shop A.E.
Coming up tonight on Shop A.E., at 7 p.m., it’s Uhhhh, stupid dong worship.
Goon out with a selection of durable, long-lasting cock strokers.
At 8 p.m., it’s Wogtow, women going their own way.
Give up men completely with our full-featured sex machines.
And at 9 p.m., douche noir with Kevin Donatello.
Offering the best enema kits and state-of-the-art douche systems, Kevin will also share with you tips and tricks so you don’t short strawberries all over the dick of the dude plowing you.
But first, D-List podcaster and notable virgin Tim Henson and three-time AVN award loser Skimberly Volvayna showcase a variety of the very best Adam and Eve has to offer on wet market.
Coming up next on Shop A.E., get some.
From the Shop A.E. studios in the San Fremendo Valley, it’s wet market live with Tim and Skimberly.
Today, Tim and Skimberly welcome the Brazzers Book of World record holder for most blowjobs given in one day, KD Wang.
Star of Simple Living, Leanne Paisley-Howell stops by to share some sex mishap cleanup tips.
Once again, it’s wet market live with Tim and Skimberly.
One lucky audience member gets to play rim job taste test.
And of course, we share some new products available at Adam and Eve.
And now, here’s Tim Henson and Skimberly Volvayna.
Thank you, thank you.
How are we doing today, guys?
Hi, everybody.
Beautiful day.
Oh my god, I know, right?
So sunny.
Hey, Tim.
Good to see you.
All right, let’s settle in here and get started.
How was your weekend, Skimberly?
Busy.
Oh my god.
I was performing on a cruise ship.
That’s right.
I completely forgot.
It’s called the…
It’s called the butt boat.
Butt boat.
That’s right.
And what exactly are you doing on the butt boat?
Butt stuff.
Just all kinds of butt stuff.
Wow.
Well, great.
Glad you’re here, though.
Oh, me too.
It was a long weekend.
Oh, I got to perform my song on the butt boat.
Oh, how did that go over?
Everyone loved it.
Do you want to hear a little bit?
Audience, do you want to hear a little bit of my song?
You know what?
We have such a jam-packed show.
I don’t…
I don’t know if we have…
They want it.
The audience wants it.
Okay.
All right.
Well, just a little bit, maybe.
If they could peel my cheeks, ram their dicks in deep, feel my colon spasm in my rectum, wink!
With a pretty shattered sore-bound pink.
Oh, and I clean it so it doesn’t stink.
Let’s be honest.
My pooper is your kink.
If they could see my ass hole for more.
Wow.
Thank you.
Kimberly Volvaina, everybody.
And you said the people on the boat really liked that.
Yeah.
They just…
They offered up that praise.
Afterwards, I let all the guys fuck me in the ass.
That was kind of the whole point of the butt boat, so…
Maybe that had something to do with their enthusiasm for the song.
It wasn’t…
It wasn’t so much the music.
It was what came after the music.
All the dyes came after the music.
Oh, no.
That’s not what I’m…
I’m very good at what I do.
I know, Skim.
Okay.
Well, listen.
Let’s…
We got to move on.
We got a jam-packed show.
One of the things I wanted…
Oh!
You know what that sound means.
We’ve got an Adam and Eve discount code!
That’s right!
Go to adamandeve.com right now.
Whether it’s a product we are featuring today or not, you will get 50% off just about any item when you use promo code FREAK.
F-R-E-A-K.
That’s promo code FREAK.
In addition, you’ll also receive three bonus gifts, six free movies, and free shipping on your entire order.
Just remember to use promo code FREAK.
F-R-E-A-K.
That’s promo code FREAK at checkout.
Hey, Skimberly, what is your favorite part of this amazing offer?
Oh, everything about it is so good.
Obviously, the 50% off, but my favorite thing is probably the movies.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Now, you yourself have performed in several movies.
1300.
Damn!
How is your pussy still intact?
It’s not.
That’s…
It’s why I exclusively do butt stuff now.
Okay, now that makes sense.
You can actually follow the downward trajectory of the health of my vagina throughout my career.
What did…
I don’t even know what that means.
Let me explain.
Just going by the titles of the movies I was in, my very first film was called Bice Grip Gash Girls.
My 21st movie was the football-themed Tight Ends and Tighter Fronts.
Okay.
More recently, I’d starred in the movies Pussy Unwound, The Cavernous Cunt of Slop Twat Hill, Sinkhole for my Dink Pole, and last year’s movie, Dear God, Her Twat’s Gone Supernova.
Yikes!
That is pretty rough.
You should see my pussy.
Supernova is an understatement.
That’s okay.
I really don’t need to see it.
Besides, we need to get to Wet Market Live’s deal of the day!
It’s already one of Adam and Eve.com’s bestsellers, and now it’s on sale.
I’m talking about Eve’s Fetish Dreams Ballgag.
This adjustable, one-size-fits-all ballgag is made from metal and faux leather, complete with a buckle behind your head for a secure fit.
You’ll be gagged, but you won’t suffocate thanks to the ball’s built-in holes to let you breathe easy.
And this ballgag is not just functional, it’s also a looker.
Its straps contain a diamond-stitch pattern, and they’re soft and padded.
You may be bound and gagged, but you can also rest easy in knowing that no animals were harmed in the production of this ballgag.
The leather straps are 100% vegan, and with an average rating of almost four stars out of five, users absolutely love the thing.
It’s Eve’s Fetish Dream Ballgag, Wet Market Live’s deal of the day.
That’s right, Tim.
I absolutely love this ballgag, and at the low, low Adam and Eve price of only $24.99, you would be crazy not to include this in your sex arsenal, okay?
It is a no-brainer.
It really is.
Now, we’re forgetting something, though.
What if we applied Promo Code Freak to this ballgag?
Dear God, I forgot about Promo Code Freak.
Let me just try it here.
Sweet mother of Christ!
What happened?
What happened when you used Promo Code Freak?
Say something!
Say anything!
It brought the price down to $12.50!
That’s gotta be wrong.
$12.50 for an entire ballgag set?
Not to mention all of the free gifts you’re getting?
Yeah!
And free shipping?
Yeah!
There must be a mistake.
No, it all checks out!
Well, this is just one of the most amazing deals in the history of commerce.
It truly is.
Think about it.
You can’t even get a fucking value meal from McDonald’s for less than $12.50, but right here, right now on Wet Market Live, you can order an entire ballgag, plus receive some amazing free gifts and free shipping.
Bonus, there’s no empty calories involved.
Kim, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I wanted to let you know that Adam and Eve has told me that their Eve’s Fetish Dreams ballgag has already sold over 10,000 units to date.
Wow!
That is worthy of some applause!
Congratulations, Adam and Eve!
Quite the bestseller, and it’s even better now using Promo Code Freak.
Verified buyers have shared their experiences with the ballgag.
One review reads, I really enjoyed this product.
The holes really make a difference.
Also, the whole thing was pretty comfortable to wear.
Others compliment the nice, soft strap for comfort, and many even say that it’s comfortable to wear for a long time for those extended bouts of play.
Tim, why don’t we go to the phone now and talk to some people who have already purchased the Eve’s Fetish Dreams ballgag?
Sounds like an awesome idea, Skimberly.
I understand we have Benjamin on the phone.
Benjamin, how are you enjoying your Adam and Eve ballgag?
Absolutely loved it.
I purchased it about a month ago.
It came so quickly in the mail, and I got to be honest with you, I haven’t wanted to take it out since I put it in.
Oh, that’s great.
I love to hear that.
Now, before you actually received the ballgag, did you have any concerns?
Were you worried about anything?
I had a feeling that it was going to be uncomfortable, especially the ball part.
I thought I wasn’t going to be able to breathe, but the fact of the matter is there are holes in there, so facts don’t care about your feelings, apparently.
Yeah, the fact that it had holes should alleviate those feelings.
Where are you calling from today, Ben?
That shithole known as Los Angeles.
Hey, do you happen to have the ballgag near you?
Oh, definitely.
It never leaves my side.
Would you mind putting it in?
Maybe start talking about something and then put the ballgag in.
I want to hear what it sounds like.
Listen, the polling data shows that people think Kamala Harris is incompetent, useless.
These aren’t my words.
These are their words.
Stupid, unqualified, a loser.
Oh, yeah.
Much better.
I like that.
Ballgag is definitely the way to go.
You made the right choice, Benjamin.
Another happy customer.
I hope you use promo code freak.
If not, make sure to do it next time.
You’ll save some big, big money.
That’s Benjamin from Los Angeles checking in.
What do you have for me, Skimberly?
Just wanted to share with you a few more things before we move on from the Eves Better Stream ballgag.
I think this is important.
You know, when we talk about how inexpensive this ballgag is, and that’s before we even used promo code freak, some people might think we’ve skimped on the quality, but no, the plastics we use, ABS, high quality, durable.
Nettle is used for the buckles and clasps and, of course, the vegan leather.
That’s right.
No cows were hurt in the production of this ballgag.
It’s the Eves Fetish Streams ballgag.
Wet markets deal of the day.
You can find a link to all the products featured today on our show notes.
Speaking of all Adam and Eve products, you can shop without worry, thanks to the Adam and Eve guarantee.
It’s 100% secure, always discreet with a 90 day return window and world class customer service.
Since 1971, it’s the Adam and Eve guarantee.
My current is on fire.
Oh, Skimberly, where the hell did that come from?
I’m sorry.
It’s this damn poly blend fabric.
It’s just making my cunt sweat and stink up a storm.
So your pussy is hot and stinky.
I mean, we’re talking grandma’s tuna salad left out in the sun all day long and the sweltering summer heat.
A hot, fishy garbage.
Cooking, simmering, marinating in my pussy juice.
It’s nasty.
All right.
That’s enough, Skim.
We don’t want people to tune out.
Very, very nasty.
Right.
You don’t want to know what’s going on in my pants right now.
Maybe better left unsaid.
What happens is it gets sticky.
Right.
And then my pussy lips get stuck to the the fabric because it’s at the damn polyester.
Right.
Well, it goes back to just picking the wrong fabric for the day.
I think that’s the problem.
I’ll tell you what the real problem is.
It’s wet down there.
My vagina is like a slick sea creature suctioning itself to my pants.
And every time I take a step, I hear that tearing sound of my octopus lips peeling off and it’s getting sore, man, real sore.
All right.
Well, maybe the next product here on Wet Market Live might be able to help you.
It’s Adam and Eve’s crotchless lace V-thong.
And unlike most crotchless panties that have a very wide crotchless opening, cavernous, expansive, a chasm, really, Adam and Eve’s crotchless lace V-thong is really more of a slit.
Go to AdamandEve.com and look at the product shot.
And what I love is even though this is a crotchless thong, there’s still vaginal coverage.
You can play peekaboo with your coochie.
The colorful crotchless panty sits high on your hips to show off your curves, while the thong back leaves your behind nicely bare.
Perfect for spanking or just, you know, showing off.
A sexy crotchless opening gives you full access for steamy play without taking it off.
That’s really the best part.
You’ve got vaginal coverage when you need it, but thanks to the nylon, rayon, and spandex combination, it’s easy and comfortable to stretch, pull back, or pull to the side to expose those beautiful labial lips.
With a four and a half star rating and over 100,000 panties sold, this is the pair of crotchless panties you need to try first.
Verified buyers are saying, very easy to get into and lick without removing.
And that’s really what you want.
That’s all you need in a crotchless panty.
Another buyer said, when my wife first put this on and showed me, I nearly came.
The cut and shapely fit shows off the female body in the best possible way.
One woman said, they’re so cute and comfortable.
I love these panties for a variety of reasons.
First of all, as we stated earlier, my vagina is a mess.
Right.
Supernova.
Thanks to the nylon and spandex, it really just, it cinches everything together.
Right.
The crotchless panties have that little slit, that little hole.
Almost like spanks for your punani lips.
Oh, that is a good analogy, Skimberly.
Of course, the second he peels open that fabric, even a little bit, it’s like an avalanche of meat.
Yeah, well, that’s definitely a you problem.
Most women won’t have that issue.
Oh, God, no, no, no.
My pussy is a special case.
It’s it’s had a very rough life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Talk about the color, Skimberly.
Oh, this is what’s so great.
The Adam and Eve crotchless lace bifun comes in three color combinations.
Traditional black, which is just super sexy.
The very fun pink and purple combination.
And then if you’re feeling a little naughty, a little devilish, we’ve got a red and black version.
Now, the sizes are also great because they’re stretchy.
You can pick from small slash medium.
There is a medium slash large size.
And then there are even plus sizes for those fuller figured girls out there.
There’s a one X slash two X and a three X slash four X.
So we have just about everyone covered there.
I know what our audience is waiting for.
I like I can sense it.
You’re like, OK, give to the price.
How much is this going to cost me?
Well, the thing that everyone has to remember is that these are premium crotchless panties.
Oh, it’s got that gorgeous, colorful floral lace, right?
That’s a premium.
It’s also got that super soft hip hugging waistband because it’s not just about looking sexy.
It’s about feeling comfortable as well.
OK, I feel like everyone thinks we’re stalling.
What’s the price?
How much are these crotchless thongs?
Thirty nine ninety nine is an amazing price for these.
It sure is, Kimberly.
Thirty nine ninety nine.
That’s hold on, Tim.
I didn’t say that was the price.
Wait, what?
All I said was thirty nine ninety nine was an amazing price.
Kimberly, are you dicking around with me?
Are you dicking me, Kimberly?
Kimberly, I feel like I’m being dicked.
Is there dicking going on here?
I got dicked, didn’t I?
Tell me you’re not dicking me.
Dicked.
I can’t believe it.
Dicked.
I knew it.
This has got to be a dicking.
You dicked me, Kimberly.
You dicked me good.
OK, I dipped you.
I did you good.
You stupid bitch.
You fucking slut.
Tell me the price already.
OK, but hold your finger over your dick hole because I’m afraid you’re going to spray me with your hummus shooter when I tell you the price because it’s going to make you cum so hard.
You’ve got to stop edging us.
Tell us the price.
When you apply promo code freak at checkout, the crotchless lace v-foam panties are only ten dollars and forty nine cents.
And of course, you’re going to get free shipping.
I don’t know how Adam and Eve does it.
We’ve got to go to the phones.
They’re lighting up people who have purchased these thongs in the past, people who are buying them now for the first time.
Everyone is very excited about Adam and Eve’s crotchless lace v-foam.
Who do we have on the line?
This is Sheryl Murkowski calling from Keldessaville.
How are you today, honey?
Doing great.
Have you purchased these panties or are you thinking about buying them?
I’ve got a few questions before I make the purchase.
Maybe you can help me.
Nothing gives me more joy than helping the elderly.
So please go ahead with your questions.
I beg your pardon.
I’m a very young and active twenty five year old smoker with three fourths of a lung.
Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.
The voice threw me for a loop there.
I am tan and smokey.
I bet you these thongs would look amazing on tan skin.
If you want to visualize what it might look like, just imagine a Costco rotisserie chicken wearing panties.
Okay.
All right.
So what exactly was your question?
I’ve got a very unique medical condition called a prolapse.
The inside of my woman parts peek out on the outside.
It’s actually very beautiful.
It looks like a rose.
Oh, it sure doesn’t smell like one, though.
Woo woo woo.
So I’m sorry, what is your question exactly?
Well, I just want to make sure the hole in the crotchless panty is big enough for my clips and my entire prolapse.
You’re worried that the prolapse won’t fit through the slit of the crotchless panties.
That’s right.
And my clips, your your clip clip, your clips, my clips, clips, clip, clip, clip, clip, late, late, late lips, lips, lips, old lips, their danglers.
Okay.
Yeah, that should be no problem.
Thanks to the rayon nylon spandex combination of fabrics, these panties should be able to accommodate most cunts.
Oh, well, that makes me feel so much better.
You put my mind at ease, honey.
Well, that’s what I’m here for.
I think I’m going to buy a pair in pink.
The kids will like that.
I’m sorry.
Did you say kids?
Yeah.
I own and operate a daycare center.
Yeah, but Fridays are learn in your underwear day.
Ah, it’s just a fun thing.
What?
I think we have to go.
Honey, it’s OK.
All the parents sign waivers.
Yeah, but underwear, there’s nothing sexual about it, but you’re buying crotchless panties.
I already told you it’s a medical condition.
I got to air this stink hair out.
OK, now let me ask you about my ass.
Do you know what a fistula is?
And I think we lost Cheryl, unfortunately.
But thank you so much for your purchase, Cheryl.
Tim, I think it’s time we move on to our final product before we go to break.
Oh, excellent idea.
What do you have for me, Kimberly?
Well, I actually have a question for you, Tim.
What is your favorite autumn holiday?
Ah, easy.
Thanksgiving.
No.
Yes, it is.
Thanksgiving is my favorite fall holiday.
OK, well, that’s not what you told me before.
And also, Thanksgiving is not a fall holiday.
It’s a winter holiday.
What the hell are you talking about?
Of course, Thanksgiving is a fall holiday.
It takes place in November.
First of all, correction.
End of November, which is winter.
Doesn’t matter if it’s beginning of November, mid-November or end of November.
November is still autumn.
OK, half the time it’s snowing on Thanksgiving.
So that that screams winter to me.
Also, people lump Thanksgiving and Christmas together as the holiday season, which is definitely winter shit.
Right.
Those are winter holidays.
Who cares if it’s lumped together?
They could be lumped together and be in two different seasons.
Furthermore, think about how people decorate for Thanksgiving.
It’s like pumpkins and cornucopias and shit.
The color schemes are all like browns and reds and oranges.
Well, OK, that’s fall.
That’s autumn.
Those are like leaves falling from trees.
Look, just pick a different holiday that takes place during the season of fall.
OK, what is your second favorite autumn holiday?
That’s a no brainer.
October 4th, World Smile Day.
That’s not a real holiday.
Oh, it most definitely is.
It’s not a major holiday.
Well, it should be because we all need to smile a little more.
Oh, my God, you’re fucking retarded.
Sounds like someone needs to smile.
I’ll smile when your heart finally gives out and you’re buried six feet in the ground.
Oh, low blow, Skimberly.
What the hell do you want me to say?
What is my favorite fall time holiday supposed to be?
Halloween, asshole.
Halloween.
Remember last week you were all excited.
Did you finally picked out your costume?
Well, it’s a good one.
Sexy Hitler.
I guarantee you no one else is going as him.
And I told you you should shake your pubic area into a Hitler mustache.
I remember it wasn’t a horrible idea.
Yeah, I like I like Halloween.
Why?
What does that have to do with our final product?
Well, when you think of Halloween, what comes to mind?
Candy?
No.
Pumpkins?
Try again.
Witches?
No.
Those huge 12 foot yard skeletons?
Bats?
No.
Dracula?
No.
Werewolves?
No.
Charlie Brown?
No.
Garfield?
Nope.
Okay, you know what?
This could take a while.
Yeah, let me just tell you.
The devil.
Yeah, that’s pretty Halloween-y.
Which finally brings us to our product, the Adam and Eve Cheap Thrills She-Devil Stroker.
Enjoy devilish fun with this exotic and stimulating cock stroker.
I like the way you said cock.
Cock.
Tear.
Cock.
Tat.
Cock.
Cock.
Yes, it’s bright red, just like the devil himself.
The She-Devil Stroker is made for fantasy play, so let your imagination and fantasies run wild.
The vaginal-shaped entry grips your shaft tightly, while the textured interior massages you just right.
Some verified buyers are saying this is a lot better than the old-fashioned method, and another says it’s very soft and lifelike.
It’s perfect for practicing rhythm to last longer.
At only $19.99, it’s an amazing value, but you use that promo code FREAK, F-R-E-A-K, and you won’t be paying $19.99.
No, no.
You’ll be taking home this devil stroker for only $10.
That’s including free shipping.
Just another amazing deal from Adam and Eve, and we already have the phones lighting up.
Why don’t we go ahead and take a call right now?
You’re on Wet Market Live with Tim and Skimberly.
Who’s this?
This is Bill.
All right.
Bill, what made you want to buy the She-Devil Stroker today?
Well, actually, I had a quick question for you.
Did you happen to get all of the required waivers, approvals, and licensing rights to sell a Satan-inspired cock stroker?
I’m not aware of any licensing rights.
Tim, can you help me out here?
Yeah, I can help you out.
I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
I’m talking about trademark infringement, assholes.
All right.
First of all, Satan, I know it’s you.
No, no.
This is Bill.
I said my name is Bill.
What’s your full name?
Bill Z-Bub.
Bill Z-Bub.
Yeah, that’s very clever.
Look, stop trying to make me feel stupid.
You’re the ones in trouble, asshole.
Why?
Why are we in trouble?
Because I’m being assertive and finally doing something about this rampant infringement on my likeness.
Still confused.
Oh my God, you’re an idiot.
For hundreds, probably thousands of years, people, organizations, and companies have used my name, my image, my swagger to make money.
Off the top of my head, here’s just a few.
Dirt Devil Vacuums.
Ever hear of it?
Blue Devil Automotive Products.
Devil’s Backbone Brewing Company.
Devil Dog Snack Cakes.
Sure, they’re delicious, but think of all the harm it’s doing me.
In legal terms, I believe it’s irreparable damage.
Red Devil Tools.
Oh, not to mention, all of the companies making unauthorized knockoff costumes of me.
Look, just to play devil’s advocate…
Don’t get me started on that term.
Okay, well, those weren’t the right words anyway.
Look, before you even get to your gotcha question that I know is coming, let me ask you this.
Why is it not okay if a company uses an AI voice that sounds like Scarlett Johansson, but it is acceptable for Spirit Halloween to sell cheap-ass versions of me for the kiddies to parade around in?
By the way, that’s just weird.
Well, you know, like, copyrights and trademarks, those expire, don’t they?
Recently, Disney lost the rights to the Steamboat Willie version of Mickey Mouse, because it’s so old.
You’re way older than him.
Oh, ageism now.
Nice.
You’re really one of the good guys, aren’t you, Tim?
Look, what do you want me to do?
Yes, Adam and Eve has a product called the Cheap Thrills She-Devil Stroker.
It’s not even devil, it’s she-devil.
Yeah, okay, well, there’s no such thing as a she-devil, so that’s just stupid.
It really amounts to misgendering me, which is not cool.
Like, aren’t you just happy that people are using masturbators and jerking off to quasi-satanic strokers?
I don’t know.
I guess.
A little.
I mean, I don’t know if masturbation is against the Bible or not.
Oh, it is.
A good rule of thumb is, if something’s fun, it’s probably against the Bible.
Well, you know, there you go.
That’s what you’re all about.
Be happy you’re still, you know, a part of society, part of the zeitgeist.
I know.
It’s just, I see all these idiots making lots of money, and I’m sitting down here in hell.
This place has fallen apart.
It’s dilapidated.
You know, most of the torture equipment I use, it’s broken.
I can’t even adequately inflict agony, torment, and misery on damn souls anymore.
I’m a fucking failure.
Meanwhile, the huck-to-it girl just made her first million.
Ugh, that is infuriating.
Hey, Satan.
This is Skimberly Volvayna speaking.
Hey, Skim.
I’m familiar with your work.
You’re a fan?
Really?
Well, I’m Satan.
I love the gory stuff, you know, and the sight of your ruined pussy in your last movie was horrifying.
What was the name of that?
Oh, my most recent movie was titled Lost in the Poon-Muta-Thigh-Angle.
Dear God.
I, of course, played the Poon-Muta-Thigh-Angle, a mysterious, eerie, vacuous nebula of space, time, and cooter where ships, planes, dicks, and fists fell in never to be heard from again.
I saw that movie a month and a half ago.
I’m still getting chills.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask you, it seems like you need some extra cash.
Would you be willing to come on the butt boat?
Like, as a featured performer?
Yeah, it’s easy money.
You do a meet and greet, you sign things, you do some butt stuff.
I love doing butt stuff.
See, I thought you might.
Back in the day, they called it sodomy.
It’s all over the Bible.
God hated that shit.
Well, there you go.
Satan got a gig.
And you can work on, you know, getting endorsement deals, some, like, officially licensed devil products.
You’re gonna be fine, dude.
So, do you think you would be okay if Adam and Eve continued to use the name Cheap Thrills She-Double-Stroker?
Please?
Well, since you guys helped me, okay.
And don’t forget.
Yeah, don’t forget what?
Don’t forget to use promo code FREAK.
F-R-E-A-K.
That’s Satan, he’s a good guy.
He really is.
And he’s got a huge cock.
Huge cack.
Cack.
Cack.
Look, we have to take a quick break.
When we come back to Wet Market Live, we’ll be featuring some of the gayest anal beads ever to be sold.
Adam and Eve’s sassy anal beads.
With over 150,000 sold, chances are there’s probably a few gay guys in America walking around with them inside of them right now.
If you know a homosexual, ask them.
Say, hey, is there anything up in that twink little shitter of yours?
Because if there is, my money is on Adam and Eve’s sassy anal beads.
And later on in the show, what happens when you forget to clean your sex toys?
Congealed vaginal juice.
Pussy crumbles.
Blood.
Cum.
It’s all gross.
But nothing’s worse than caked on feces.
Yes, the dreaded dried butt crud.
It’s almost impossible to clean off your sex toys.
Until now.
Leanne Paisley Howell from Simple Living will tell us all about Adam and Eve’s wicked foam and fresh toy clean.
The secret is the antimicrobial olive leaf and thyme.
Sounds delicious.
I want to eat it.
You don’t want to eat it, you goofball.
But yes, it is super effective.
All of this was much more coming up when Wet Market Live continues.
This has been another excellent podcast from the Scrod Media Group.
Learn more at scrod.net.
