On Today’s Show:
🌈 Introducing Olo: The Unseeable New Color Between Blue and Green Scientists have allegedly discovered a new color between blue and green, called Olo. But there’s a catch—you’ll need to get lasers blasted into your eyeballs to see it. Tim compares this breakthrough to his own discovery of the number “Leavenge.” Advantage: Tim. 💥🧠
📱 Citizen App Is Holding Pedos Hostage (for $6 a month) Tim’s local FBI raid has him hooked on the Citizen crime app, where every pedo alert and police radio call is paywalled behind “Citizen Plus.” Wanna know if Chester the Molester lives next door? Gotta pony up, freak. 🚨🧑⚖️💳
🕊 Meade Skelton’s Easter Livestream or Hitler Birthday Bash? Meade goes live for Jesus but spends way more time singing birthday tunes to Adolf. A snot-filled celebration of racism, confusion, and phlegm. 🤢🎤🧻
🧼 Ramen Rage: Server Follows Customer Over 11-Cent Tip An employee from Table to Sticks Ramen in Illinois follows a customer down the street, screaming about a pathetic tip. Yelp reviews explode. The ramen tastes like Cup Noodles and regret. 🍜💵💢
🌴 YouTuber Invades Death Island With Coconuts and Diet Coke A U.S. YouTuber illegally visits North Sentinel Island—the place where outsiders get speared—and offers a coconut and Diet Coke as tribute. He somehow survives. Indiana Jones-level dumbassery. 🗺🥥🚫
🎤 Haley Joel Osment Drops Slurs During Coke-Fueled Ski Lodge Arrest The Sixth Sense star sees dead careers after calling a cop a Nazi and a kike (pick a lane, bro). Later claims he was blacked out. Cocaine, chaos, and childhood trauma collide. 🎿❄️💉
🎵 TikTok China Is Coming for Our Engines Auto Parts Store Tina wants to ship you a Range Rover engine straight from China. Her English may be broken, but her hustle is tight. “Very company, good quality.” 🚗🛠️🇨🇳
🎶 Mysterious Woman Sings in Gibberish Tim shares a bizarre song that sounds like it was lifted from a haunted elven dungeon. It’s either avant-garde art or a spell to summon ancient pharaohs. 👻🎧🗿
📞 Voicemail Time! Freaks chime in about home buying nightmares, relationship farts, and Katy Perry’s misguided space voyage. 💨🪐🗣️
| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 01:38:10 | The App Where Finding Perverts Is An InApp Purchase |
| 04:32:06 | A New Color Has Been Discovered |
| 08:34:19 | Meade’s Springtime For Hitler Livestream Spectacular! |
| 11:09:19 | Drug Addict Gets Stuck |
| 13:23:07 | Restaurant Owner Chases Down Man Who Didn’t Leave Tip |
| 19:40:23 | Chinese Auto Engine Warehouse Music |
| 22:17:06 | More Incomprehensible English Music |
| 24:05:22 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
| 25:29:20 | Leaving Soda For A Tribe Of Antisocial Killers |
| 32:14:14 | I See N*** K***S |
| 37:13:12 | A Female Mexican Immigrant For Every Incel |
| 40:52:00 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
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