On Today’s Show:
It’s a jam-packed Friday freakout featuring haunted abortions, ghost grandkids, pervy American men in Ukraine, and the eternal struggle of pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch 2 without losing your mind—or your place in the checkout queue.
- 🎮 Switch 2 Rage – Tim details his traumatizing experience trying to preorder Nintendo’s latest console. If you’ve ever sweat through a shirt just trying to give a company your money, you’ll relate.
- 👻 Alexis K. Tyler Sees Dead Grandbabies – A fetus ghost starts dancing in her room, and somehow this isn’t even the weirdest part of the stream featuring her son, De Niro Red.
- 💔 Don’t Dictate My Dick – De Niro Red delivers hard truths about toxic relationships, ghost babies, and bitches be trippin’.
- 🧒 Toddlers & Ashes – A one-year-old boy snacks on Grandpa’s remains. Because why not?
- 💩 Eco-Retreat Gone to Shit – An environmentally-conscious couple flees Sweden, leaving behind unpaid taxes, 158 barrels of human waste, and dead ducks.
- 🇺🇦 Creepy Love Tourism – American men fly to Ukraine looking for love (and youth). Tim highlights a standout contender for “Most Likely to End Up on a Watch List.”
- 🍆 Tariff Panic – With Chinese sex toy imports threatened by massive tariffs, it might be time to hoard those dildos. Tim breaks it all down—and offers a discount code, of course.
- 🎶 Virginity Parody Anthems – “Willing to Wait,” a horrifying abstinence anthem set to “Old Town Road.” Plus, Tim resurrects his own filthy banger, “Cherabra Venti.”
Listener Voicemails:
- 🧱 LEGO pieces in the nose, memories of childhood stupidity, and almost dying from a throat lozenge.
- 🏍️ Lorenzo Lamas BBQ sightings in Ohio—yep, really.
- 🧑💻 A heartfelt plea: help Tim get Distorted View back on Wikipedia!
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📲 Sign up at distortedview.com or via Spotify & Apple Podcasts.
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Featured Phrases of the Day:
- “Don’t dictate my dick.”
- “Ghost fetus dancing like a toddler.”
- “Soup is the quickest way into my pants.”
- “Fuck my tits, fuck my mouth, when I gag just point it south.”
Promo Code Reminder:
🌶️ Get 50% off at AdamAndEve.com with code FREAK – before tariffs make pleasure unaffordable.
| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 00:21:02 | Tim Takes A Lie Detector Test |
| 04:09:16 | Nintendo Switch 2 Preorder |
| 11:19:22 | Gen Z Is Triggered By The Thumbs Up Emoji |
| 15:20:20 | Alexyss K Tylors Son – Don’t Dictate His Dick |
| 21:39:19 | Creep Tried To Find Wife In Ukraine |
| 30:34:22 | New Abstinence Rock |
| 33:39:17 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
| 35:41:04 | Toddler Snorts Grandfather |
| 38:19:15 | Eco Hotel Leaves Over 100 Barrels Of Poop |
| 41:54:09 | Time To Panic Buy Dildos |
| 47:02:03 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
Our New PO Box Address!
Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236
- Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463
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Podcast: Download
