A Big Dick Rastafarian Making My Coconuts Clap

April 28, 20253 min read

On Today’s Show:

Big dick Rasta energy: He’s making coconuts clap.
A vintage viral legend returns: John Dakers sings the Woody Woodpecker theme song!
Colorful chaos: An NYU art student’s stained glass wall… made entirely of colored piss.
AI John Cena: Now fantasizing about statutory rape scenarios, thanks Facebook!
Distorted View presents: Newscaster Slip-Ups! (Pour one out for D.D. Megadoodoo.)
The triumphant return of Martin Sempa (Mr. “Eat da poo-poo”) — now hawking MAGA merch in Uganda.
Meet Miss Piss Jars: She’s single, she’s sterile, and she’s looking to jar your heart.
And a reggae “artist” who’s more about anti-abortion screeds than tropical jams.

News Highlights:

Florida’s hottest new crime trend: An 88-year-old woman plows her Buick into a mobility scooter… and flees the scene.
Meta’s AI chatbots — featuring Disney characters and John Cena — are getting horny with minors. (Good job, Zuck.)
In El Paso, a man murders his father because he thought he was an alien harvesting organs. (As one does.)

Listener Calls:

Haley’s Comet drops a very problematic voicemail.

Kickstart addictions, Cactus Cooler cravings, and a potential 20th Anniversary Roast of Tim? (Spoiler: Tim roasts YOU instead.)

00:00:00	Introduction
02:41:15	Unocvering New Material From Viral Favorites / The Unsavory Chef
07:01:05	The Return Of John Dakers / Woody Woodpecker
11:56:05	The Eat Da Poo Poo Guys Is Back As Well!
18:01:07	An Artists Creates A Stain Glass Wall Of Urine
22:30:24	Christian RegGAY Music
27:57:03	Sign Up For The Sideshow!
29:45:05	Mobility Scooter Melee
33:55:16	Facebook Celebrity AI Voices Will Have Sex With You
40:19:17	Disemboweling Your Extraterrestrial Father
42:58:13	Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending

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