On Today’s Show:
๐ Balloon Squeaks & Baklava Reeks
- ๐ Squeaky sex with balloon fetishists, including a true โLunarโs Lunarโ who makes love to latex while offering DIY netting tips
- ๐ A dragon-being alien ambassador offers $10K meet-and-greets with blue extraterrestrials (no refunds, obviously)
- ๐จโโ๏ธ My 600-Pound Life star Stephen Asante returns looking Amish and acting feralโranting, shitting, and threatening nurses from his hospital bed
- ๐จ HungerFF’s Brolapse podcast explores what itโs like when your prolapse takes steam breaks and dips in toilet water
- ๐งด Tim is being stalked by pistachio-scented products: car fresheners, baklava body sprays, and other nutty fragrances
- ๐ช Mrs. Butterworth is thicc, and possibly filled with horse peeโshout out to Palm Beach County!
- ๐ฅ Woman sets lifelong friend ablaze for telling her to make scones (he dared herโฆ bad move, bro)
- ๐ More wild tales from the Conscious Life Expo: flat earthers, dragons, and intergalactic MLMs
- ๐ฅ New York official shoots DoorDash driver for using his drivewayโbecause America is extremely emotionally stable right now
- โ๏ธ A man armed with a high-quality lightsaber attacks a mom and her daughter, then blames rent increases. Jedi he is not.
- โ๏ธ Voicemails include a gay love scandal involving a wealthy girlfriendโs male relative and a poorly timed vacation hookup
๐ Links Mentioned:
- Pistachio Baklava Cologne (yes, really)
- Brolapse podcast clips
- DV Mail Unboxing Video ๐
- NoCapOnGodโs Conscious Life Expo interviews
๐ง Get More DV!
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๐๏ธ Support the Show
- Patreon.com/DistortedView โ Get merch, voicemail priority, and more!
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00:00:00 | Introduction |
01:37:23 | Pistachio Cologne |
05:04:03 | Steven Asanti Is Back And Toothless |
09:33:17 | Danging Your Prolapsed Butt In The Toilet Bowl |
13:38:14 | Anti-Porn / Porn Mashup |
15:09:13 | The Sounds Of Looner-bation |
20:24:00 | Interviews From The Coo-Coo Crazy UFO Expo |
24:50:04 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
27:13:13 | Lost Door Dasher Gets Shot At |
35:41:07 | Dousing Your Bestie In Gasoline and Setting Him Ablaze |
40:50:24 | Dork Vader Lightsabers A 7 Year Old |
44:04:01 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
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