On Today’s Show:
π Balloon Squeaks & Baklava Reeks
- π Squeaky sex with balloon fetishists, including a true βLunarβs Lunarβ who makes love to latex while offering DIY netting tips
- π A dragon-being alien ambassador offers $10K meet-and-greets with blue extraterrestrials (no refunds, obviously)
- π¨ββοΈ My 600-Pound Life star Stephen Asante returns looking Amish and acting feralβranting, shitting, and threatening nurses from his hospital bed
- π¨ HungerFF’s Brolapse podcast explores what itβs like when your prolapse takes steam breaks and dips in toilet water
- π§΄ Tim is being stalked by pistachio-scented products: car fresheners, baklava body sprays, and other nutty fragrances
- πͺ Mrs. Butterworth is thicc, and possibly filled with horse peeβshout out to Palm Beach County!
- π₯ Woman sets lifelong friend ablaze for telling her to make scones (he dared herβ¦ bad move, bro)
- π More wild tales from the Conscious Life Expo: flat earthers, dragons, and intergalactic MLMs
- π₯ New York official shoots DoorDash driver for using his drivewayβbecause America is extremely emotionally stable right now
- βοΈ A man armed with a high-quality lightsaber attacks a mom and her daughter, then blames rent increases. Jedi he is not.
- βοΈ Voicemails include a gay love scandal involving a wealthy girlfriendβs male relative and a poorly timed vacation hookup
π Links Mentioned:
- Pistachio Baklava Cologne (yes, really)
- Brolapse podcast clips
- DV Mail Unboxing Video π
- NoCapOnGodβs Conscious Life Expo interviews
π§ Get More DV!
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ποΈ Support the Show
- Patreon.com/DistortedView β Get merch, voicemail priority, and more!
- DV Beanies & Car Magnets are shipping now!
| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 01:37:23 | Pistachio Cologne |
| 05:04:03 | Steven Asanti Is Back And Toothless |
| 09:33:17 | Danging Your Prolapsed Butt In The Toilet Bowl |
| 13:38:14 | Anti-Porn / Porn Mashup |
| 15:09:13 | The Sounds Of Looner-bation |
| 20:24:00 | Interviews From The Coo-Coo Crazy UFO Expo |
| 24:50:04 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
| 27:13:13 | Lost Door Dasher Gets Shot At |
| 35:41:07 | Dousing Your Bestie In Gasoline and Setting Him Ablaze |
| 40:50:24 | Dork Vader Lightsabers A 7 Year Old |
| 44:04:01 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
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