On Today’s Lightly Toasted Episode:

• 🔥 Tim returns from a boiling-hot Ashtabula trip to assess his mom’s mysterious medical woes
  • She’s got heel pain, a raspy voice, and a death wish involving slippery bathtubs
  • Thyroid drama turns out to be… absolutely nothing. Thank you, cockatoo receptionists.
  • Tim sets up MyChart for his mom and immediately regrets knowing so much
  • Landline bill from 1972 somehow costs $100/month — is she calling the Kremlin?
• 📸 The horrors of solo livestreaming: a British food vlogger is ambushed mid-muckbang and called a “disgusting pig” by a stranger — while ordering more food
• 🚗 A wild Range Rover crash ends with a deer, a gay accusation, and someone possibly receiving roadhead in a parking lot
  • “You’re a disgusting homosexual, and that’s why I crashed into you and the deer”
  • Bonus: gay deer theory, explained
• 💰 Tim suggests vomiting on critics as a form of protest and other Unethical Life Pro Tips
• 🌡️ Reminder: it’s almost June, turn off the goddamn heat!

Mini-Episode Vibes:
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