On Today’s Show:
Episode Overview
Host Tim Henson delivers a wild Wednesday episode filled with bizarre stories, hilarious audio, and classic DV absurdity. From a drunk streamer arguing with a text-to-speech clip to a To Catch a Predator porn parody, this show is peak chaos.
Segments and Stories
1. Great Moments in Customer Service
- Highlight: An Australian man rants profanely about booking a driving test in Victoria, fed up with bureaucracy and “cunts” in Croydon.
- Quote: “I want to make a boogie for this fucking bullshit so I can drive a car safely.”
2. Ethan Ralph’s Pill Stream Meltdown
- Submitted by: Sirosis of Liver (Discord)
- Story: Ethan Ralph, alt-right host of The Kill Stream, drunkenly argues with a text-to-speech donation (self-help guru clip) for 10 minutes, thinking it’s a real person.
- Details: Streaming from Mexico to dodge child support, Ralph rants about “white children” and mutes his stream in a drug-fueled stupor.
- Quote: “Tell me right now, bitch. How many white children do you have?”
3. To Catch a Predator Porn Parody
- Source: TeenFidelity.com, via eFox
- Story: A To Catch a Predator XXX parody features a “pervert” meeting a girl, confronted by a Chris Hansen clone. It turns explicit with a twist involving the camera operator.
- Details: Includes condom excuses and a grandpa character. The actress is legal, but the premise is edgy.
- Quote: “I brought condoms to make balloon animals for her.”
4. Whitaker Family Update
- Story: The inbred Whitakers of Odd, West Virginia, lost their mobile home to a fire. Filmmaker Mark Leda’s GoFundMe has raised $8,385 to replace it.
- Details: Ray grunts through a wreckage tour; past GoFundMe controversies linger.
- Quote: “Everything is burnt.”
5. Russian Mother Hires Hitman
- Location: Chayabinsk, Russia
- Story: Svetlana, 46, arrested for hiring a hitman to drown her 12-year-old daughter for $1,200. The daughter overheard, and the hitman hid her instead.
- Details: Svetlana cited “tension.” She faces 15 years; the girl is in protective custody.
- Quote: “Every 12-year-old girl is kind of a cunt.”
6. Venezuelan Poses as Teen in Ohio
- Location: Perrysburg, Ohio
- Story: Anthony Labrador Sierra, 24, posed as a 16-year-old to enroll in high school using forged documents. Busted after his child’s mother revealed his real age.
- Details: Faces felony forgery and ICE custody for overstaying his visa.
- Quote: “When Drew Barrymore does it, it’s a rom-com.”
7. Young Thug’s Vocal Style
- Story: Tim plays a raw clip of Young Thug’s eccentric, unprocessed vocals, comparing it to his own lyric struggles.
- Quote: “Do you smoke gas? No way.”
8. Tim’s Mom Update
- Story: Patty Henson, a DV favorite, went to the ER for throat issues; a thyroid mass was found. A biopsy is set for next Thursday.
- Details: Tim’s frustrated with the hospital’s lack of urgency but notes Patty ate at Arby’s post-ER.
- Quote: “They just send the woman out to a wooded area to shit out the fetus.”
9. Soda News
- Caller: Emma
- Story: Emma mentions Jack Daniels/Coca-Cola cans. Tim hates 7-Up Tropical but loves Dr. Pepper Creamy Coconut, returning soon.
- Quote: “You don’t even know what suntan lotion tastes like.”
10. Voicemail: 3D Printing Drama
- Caller: Phil VF
- Story: Phil 3D-printed anal beads and paddles to “punish” his wife for a typo, leading to her appendix nearly rupturing.
- Quote: “I know a dishwasher can blow out an appendix.”
11. Smartphone History Correction
- Caller: Anonymous
- Story: A caller disputes Tim’s 90s smartphone claim. Tim cites IBM’s early 90s phone, Ericsson’s 1997 GS88, and BlackBerrys.
- Quote: “My mind is a steel trap. You’re the fucktard.”
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| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 02:31:08 | Sketchy Online Tariff Sales |
| 05:04:19 | A Rare Sketchy Summer Sideshow Membership Deal! |
| 06:09:08 | A Mom Henson Health Update |
| 14:17:13 | A Drunk Streamer Arguing With A Sound Clip |
| 23:26:04 | This Ain’t To Catch A Predator XXX Parody |
| 29:05:04 | What Does A Rapper Sound Like Unfilitered |
| 31:56:01 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
| 32:31:02 | The Inbred Family Blew Up Their Mobile Home |
| 40:16:20 | Hiring A Hitman To Take Out Your Daughter |
| 43:41:04 | Never Been Kissed – Illegal Venezuelan Man Edition |
| 47:47:21 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
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