On Today’s Show:
🦠 On Today’s Show:
- 🧼 Our favorite prostitute returns with tales of Middle Eastern dick, armpit funk, and under-stomach swamp rot
- 🍞 A woman makes a peanut butter & jelly sandwich during her virtual court appearance—the judge is not amused
- 📘 Tim receives an AI-generated novel featuring himself, mystical horses, and cum fart strategy meetings at Red Lobster
- 🐍 A Florida man gets bitten by a rattlesnake and records it all in hopes of viral fame—leg nearly rots off, but worth it for the views
- 🦝 Kentucky man uses a raccoon as a weapon of retail disruption—follows up a previous crime spree on a mule
- 🧑⚖️ Predator catchers make a fat pedo do jumping jacks while begging for mercy—his main concern? Broken headphones
- 🗣️ Listener voicemails on masturbation technique, paper towels vs. fleshlights, and an impassioned defense of technical ephebophilia
📦 Featured Image Today:
The cover of The Horse Whisper Chronicles: The Tales of Timothy Bethesda Henson — AI-generated masterpiece starring Tim, Unicorn Hamster, Tone-Deaf Sean, and the villainous Squirtteenth Birthday
🧠 Programming Notes:
- 🇺🇸 Juneteenth means no new show Thursday; Tim celebrates by pretending to care about the end of slavery
- 📼 Friday = Best-Of Episode
- 🏇 Full audiobook readings of Horse Whisper Chronicles may be coming to the Sideshow soon
- 🐴 Learn how to publish your own dumb AI-generated novel at bookbyanyone.com
🎙️ Support the Show:
💵 Or join the sideshow via Patreon.com/DistortedView — just $5/month gets you a direct cum-funnel to Tim’s voicemail inbox
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Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236
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