🤯 On Today’s Show:
Tim kicks off the week with a real blast from the masturbatory past: vintage 1970s audio “trucker tapes,” complete with absurd sex talk, ridiculous dialogue, and a surprising amount of filth involving bodily fluids and cross-contaminated orifices. It’s truly a Sextastic Tuesday… on a Monday.
👵 Plus, Tim’s mom returns for a round of “What’s That Sound?” where she hilariously misidentifies the noise of a man being crushed by a woman’s thighs. (Spoiler: not a haunted house.)
💊 In other segments:
- A real-life crack whore shares traumatic tales of corpse-filled freezers, stepfather incest, and plastic-bag defecation while chatting with her daughter mid-dump.
- We revisit the bizarre porn genre of “Crackhead Confessionals”—because what’s more titillating than generational trauma and gastrointestinal distress?
- New penis size survey results are in! (Spoiler: Men lie. A lot.) Find out which U.S. state exaggerates the most and which claims to be the most honest (it’s Maine, but don’t trust them either).
- A meth-fueled birthday joyride takes a wild turn in Florida as a man steals a tourist train, picks up passengers, and tweaks his way to jail. Happy Methday!
🔥 DV Sideshow Bonus:
Later today, Tim plans to feature more of the “Hollywood’s Cum Freaks” trucker tape in a bonus Sideshow-only segment. Can’t get enough of Sweet Dick? He’s back, baby—and he’s got an educated cock.
👉 Join now at distortedview.com or subscribe via Spotify or Apple Podcasts to unlock exclusive bonus shows!
📞 Voicemail Freakouts:
- A patron calls in with 4th of July fireworks factory explosion footage (meh audio, great visuals).
- Doviday offers sympathy and stories about dealing with aging parents.
- Jimmy Boo calls Tim out for confusing Star Trek and Star Wars (nerd alert!).
- Yes, yes, yes—Wing was on South Park. We know.
💬 Highlights:
- “My pussy is always an open invitation to you.”
- “I’m gonna whitewash your whole insides, girl!”
- “You got an educated dick—come educate this pussy!”
- “Partly redneck with a chance of crystal meth.”
📢 Spread the Distortion:
Tell your friends, share the show, and leave a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts.
🎧 Subscribe to the Sideshow and gain access to all the delicious audio filth Tim has to offer.
🗓️ Next Episode: Full-length Sideshow exclusive drops Tuesday!
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