On Today’s Show:
- Scientology is back on its smear-campaign bullshit—this time on TikTok, going after Leah Remini.
- Lesbian rap star Humpback Chunk drops a preview of her new music… and it involves choking and “nutting.”
- The return of Thursday Lane: he’s still addicted to white male farts, still inventing new sexual titles, and maybe still lusting after family members.
- Florida Man in a full jester costume pulls a dagger on a landscaper—because lawnmowers are too loud.
- A British man with the world’s biggest cock suffers a humiliating accident when his dong blocks his view of spilled shower gel.
- Unicorn Hamster’s voicemails get the full reggae remix treatment courtesy of Robert Faggot’s sponsorship.
Plus: racial sensitivity training clips, Tim’s mom update, and a reminder that “I don’t eat spaghetti without a fork” might be the next great DV catchphrase.
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