On Today’s Show:
On today’s show:
- “6–7” is Satanic Now
Tim dives into the extremely online Christian meltdown over kids chanting “6-7” from a dumb TikTok meme. Somehow this turns into a conspiracy web involving Greek gods, vaccines, Trump, homosexuality, slot machines, 666 vs 777, ICE, and the usual “won’t someone think of the children” panic. - Mead Skelton: From Pretty Boy to Lesbian Aunt
Mead posts “How Being on the Internet Since Young Adulthood Destroyed My Life,” blames self-promo message-board shenanigans for tanking his career, insists he’s probably on the Epstein list, and casually drops that “minors were after” him. Tim fact-checks the fantasy, mocks his old-lady glasses, and immortalizes the line: “I look like a lesbian.” - Tonetta’s Force-Fed Story
Beloved weirdo Tonetta recalls being “force-fed” cock until he had to swallow… then admits it actually tasted pretty good. Tim tries to balance the horrific assault description with the fact that Tonetta is clearly still very into cum. - Stacey Kennison vs Sandra Bullock & Diane Lane
Our favorite unstable queen returns, now claiming Diane Lane is blaspheming her Holy Spirit on her “bare genitalium,” orchestrating rape and immolation plots to secure peace in the Middle East, and risking an ex parte order if she doesn’t knock it off. Tim helpfully notes we’ve basically heard this exact script before—just swap in Sandra Bullock. - “We Are All Abusers” (and Also Terrible at Songwriting)
Tim spotlights Ava Via Music, who lives in an RV, makes Very Important TikTok Songs about narcissists, and turns a family meltdown over a baby shower game into an off-key spoken-word therapy session. Phones, self-care culture, and TikTok “therapists” all catch strays. - News: McLaren Brat Busted in Miami
TikTok/YT pest Jack Doherty, previously seen hydroplaning and annihilating his $200k McLaren on livestream while barely checking the road, gets popped in Miami Beach for blocking traffic to film content, plus possession of a Schedule II amphetamine and weed. Tim revisits the glorious crash footage and marvels at how little these people care about their bleeding friends versus their camera angle. - News: DUI Piss Can Disaster
In Montana, a man with multiple prior DUIs rear-ends a Volkswagen while trying to pee into an empty Budweiser can on the interstate. Shockingly, his license is suspended, his clothes are soaked in booze and piss, and his BAC is over three times the legal limit. Tim, as a veteran of emergency-roadside pissing, breaks down the physics of splashback and why bottles > cans. - Voicemails & Texts
- A bi listener gets caught watching hardcore gay porn by his girlfriend and muses on how different it’d be in a gay relationship.
- More disturbing agreement with resident pedophile character Galileo’s takes on women/bank accounts & divorce (Tim slaps that down with Actual Basic History).
- A caller explains Nazi “race tier lists” and why Eastern Europeans used to be considered subhuman even compared to Africans/Indians.
- Fake Puerto Rican Fat Man calls in with holiday greetings.
- Tim recounts finally getting what he’s always wanted: unsolicited listener dick video via the 4HAIRYCUNT text line. First listener to show hole still qualifies for a DV shirt, allegedly.
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Chapters / Timestamps:
| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 01:50:07 | Today’s Listener Sponsor: The Jamhole: thejamhole.com |
| 04:23:11 | 6 7 Is Dumb And Demonic – Satan’s Chant! |
| 10:46:13 | A Lesbian’s Life Is Ruined Because Of The Internet |
| 16:19:14 | Tonetta Is Back After Being Victimized (In A Good Way?) |
| 17:33:05 | Celebrity Pubic Hair Arsonist |
| 19:33:11 | Linda Finkle Hall Of Fame Nominee |
| 23:34:04 | Support Distorted View Daily |
| 26:53:01 | Asshole Streamer Gets Busted |
| 33:14:13 | Pissing In A Can In A Moving Vehicle Is Hard |
| 36:28:03 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Endingc |
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Podcast: Download
Transcript:
Timmyboo
Hey freaks, it’s Monday, November 17th, 2025. Coming up on the program today, 6-7 is a dumb thing kids are saying, but did you know it’s also demonic? Plus, it’s now canon.
Meade Skelton
I look like a lesbian.
Timmyboo
Toneta got force-fed cuck-cuck-cuck-cuck. And which celebrity is being accused of setting pussies on fire? Find out today!
Announcer Rod Herpe
Distorted View Daily proudly presents a severely crippled individual singing Christmas songs. What do
Audio
My name is D.L.B. The D.L.B.
Announcer Rod Herpe
It’s Distorted View Daily. Sponsored today by The Jam Hole.
Audio
I’m going to lose my mind today.
Audio
I’ve injected my knee with my feces, 120 cc’s under my kneecap. Just liquefied, puffing in.
Timmyboo
Yes, D.M.S. is back here with you for your Monday podcast. That’s right. We’re kicking off a new week of programs. Got a great one for you today. As you heard at the top of the show, we’ve got another sponsor. Rodder Pay, tell us a little more.
Announcer Rod Herpe
Curious what the Jam Hole podcast is all about? Well, according to their website, the Jam Hole has and always will be the audio equivalent of a bull in a china shop. Completely off the cuff, off the rails, and off our rockers. We stumble our way through understanding reality while poking fun at the utter shit show we all are.
Timmyboo
Okay, that’s cool. But like, what is the podcast about?
Announcer Rod Herpe
Well, according to the description of the jam hall in Apple Podcasts, stay hungry, stay foolish.
Timmyboo
So it’s a cooking show?
Announcer Rod Herpe
I seriously doubt that, Tim.
Timmyboo
How about I play you a couple seconds from a recent episode?
Audio
Uh, moving on, we have a gentleman here. I can’t tell what’s going on here. This says this is a condition that left the gentleman here hallucinating women with, quote, Baywatch-style breasts.
Timmyboo
First of all, I think every straight guy suffers from this condition. Imagining women with big tits, that is how one would masturbate. He kept seeing the same image,
Audio
which he nicknamed Tallulah for 10 days. He said it was like having Pamela Anderson pinned to my face. Not exactly
Timmyboo
sure why he’s complaining about this. So, okay, there’s a little bit of what the Jamhole’s all about. They go through news stories. Matt and his co-host talk about their day, what’s going on in their lives. It’s just it’s a fun thing. And it’s part of the Scrod Media Network. Not really. I mean, it is, but the Scrod Media Network’s not really a thing. Matt just emailed me and was like, hey, can I have that audio file you use? And I’m like, sure! Congratulations! Now you’re part of Scrod. I think Great Big Pete uses it too when he does his prank call podcast. The Scrod Media Network is growing. Everyone check out the Jam Hole. I will provide a link on the show notes today. Check it out. That’s what I just said, Matt. Check it out. Check it out. Hey, Matt, what do you do when you go to the library and you find a good book and you want to
Audio
take it home and read it? Check it out.
Timmyboo
That’s exactly right. Hey, if you’re standing next to a dude in a urinal and you’re both pissing, check it out. I knew it. You’re a little gay. All right, everyone check out the jam hole. Moving on now. If you are at all online, or if you have a child in elementary or middle school, you probably have heard of 6-7. It’s a meme that hasn’t quite died down yet, but it really fucking needs to. It’s just, you know, it’s stupid. It’s nonsense. 6-7, pronounced 6-7, also written as the number 6 and 7. It’s a slang term that emerged just a few months ago on TikTok and Instagram. It doesn’t mean anything, but kids love to say it. According to Wikipedia, the phrase originated from the song Doot Doot 6-7 by Skrilla. Yes, that’s Skrilla. Which became popular in video edits featuring professional basketball players. And then it just kind of snowballed from there. The actual meme itself, I’m not interested in. It’s literally just kids going 6’7″, 6’7″, and they’re moving their hands up and down. It’s retarded, yes, but kids have been saying dumb shit for eternity. What I am interested in is this phenomenon where anything popular becomes satanic real quick. At least according to Christians. The number 6 is already problematic. You know where this is going. 6’6″, 6. Anytime there’s a six, Christians are on high alert. I smell the devil and he’s after my baby’s soul. Sometimes you can anticipate the satanic panic that is about to ensue. Like when those LeBooBoo dolls became popular. Those things do look like little demons. I get why Christians freaked out about that. But two numbers? Six, seven? They’re like sequential numbers. It wasn’t satanic when children learn how to count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. But when isolated, when it’s just 6 followed by 7, you’re summoning demons. All right, let’s take a listen to a few clips here of Christians losing their minds.
Audio
6, 7, or 2, 2 is literally a demonic chant that your children are actually chanting and summoning evil entities.
Timmyboo
This has got to be the shortest incantation ever. You know, like, two numbers. 6, 7, boom. Thanks for calling up an incubus from the bowels of hell. You’re who made up this song. If that’s the case, an entire generation of 80s kids have inadvertently been summoning demons just reciting Jenny’s fucking phone number. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. Sorry for opening the gates of hell. It’s just a catchy song.
Audio
Or I like to call it a chant. Has actually admitted to practicing something. When he was interviewed about the song, the interviewer asked, what does this song mean? Or how did you come up with it? And he literally said, it’s just something that came into my brain. That came into his brain because he literally channels demonic entities.
Timmyboo
You have to stop saying literally because you don’t know what that word means. All he was saying was there’s no deep meaning behind the song. It’s just something that popped in my head. Not because he was summoning demons or anything like that. Like, what the fuck is this girl talking about?
Audio
Number six is Ogun and number seven is Yemon-ya.
Timmyboo
Yeah, I can make up words associated with numbers too. One is Meng-yung. Two is Gunk-gunk. Three is Quiggle-zip.
Audio
So when he’s chanting these things and when our children are saying 6-7, 6-7, doing that chant and those hand movements, they are literally chanting and summoning demons. The way that you stay in harmony with these demonic entities is literally by chanting, music, prayer, and gift giving. So our children are doing three of those things. Help your children get right with God. Help them repent. Help them understand what it is they’re repenting of. Pray the blood of Jesus Christ over them. Pray over them.
Timmyboo
I wish I could say this was just one deranged lunatic, but no.
Audio
Six to seven. That’s going from a six-sided star, which is now, which is the number of the 666 and beast.
Timmyboo
Again, very biblical.
Audio
The numbered system of the beast to go on to what is seven, which is Apollo.
Timmyboo
All right, we’re getting Christianity mixed up with Greek mythology. But go on, pop off, Queen.
Audio
Apollo is about vaccines, and that’s what is speaking out of what is the head of the, you know, what is considered the king of the world right now, which is Donald Trump.
Timmyboo
As if this whole thing couldn’t get more convoluted. For the record, Apollo has nothing to do with vaccines in Greek mythology. He’s like the god of poetry. He’s nothing like Donald Trump. All right, so we got Christianity, Greek mythology, vaccines, Donald Trump. Anything else you want to add into the mix there? Abortion, 5G towers?
Audio
And ego pride. And, you know, of course, they’re telling those to take down what is the rainbow, the pride rainbow oh fuck you bitch and this being sees homosexuality as a disease i just have to
Timmyboo
remind you this all started with six seven and once again it has led to hating the faggots so they will
Audio
be vaccinating people and putting them away oh a gay vaccine quietly just to let y’all know that it It’s all y’all that are protesting or standing up against ICE or, you know, coming against what is this being from going from six to seven. This ain’t a 666 system. It has been a 666 system, 666, but it’s going to 777.
Timmyboo
It’s great if you’re playing the slots. That’s a big payout, 777.
Audio
And who Apollo is is that which uses vaccines to cure diseases. And he thinks this being, this God, since apparently Zeus doesn’t want to arise to be golden, he sends Apollo. And Apollo’s about vaccines.
Timmyboo
Well, that certainly clears things up. I bet you you didn’t know this is what your kids were talking about when they screamed 6767 over and over. It’s about Apollo and Zeus and the Beast and vaccines and homosexuality, summoning demons and Las Vegas slot machines and Border Patrol. There’s very little that 6-7 is not about. It’s an incredible meme. So there you go. In case you were wondering what all this 6-7 nonsense was about, I’m sure you’re still confused. I am too. Moving on now. Mead Skelton recently posted a video with an interesting topic. The internet can destroy your life. I’m doing my part trying to destroy Mead’s life. I’m the problem here. No, of course, I love Mead. I just, I love giving Mead publicity. I’m his friend. Let’s go with that. So in this video, it is titled How Being on the Internet Since Young Adulthood Destroyed My Life. Once again, not taking responsibility for his own actions. He’s blaming this all on the internet. Actually, he did admit to something that we all know.
Meade Skelton
What I discovered was I made a lot of people angry by self-promo. in the early days of Street Team as a musician, I would do these things and pretend that I was other people writing hyperbole about my music on these message boards.
Timmyboo
All right. Well, it should be noted that Meade still does this. He has multiple accounts, and he will comment on his own videos as someone else. This has been well-documented, not just by my listeners who have noticed it, but by other people on the internet who are also obsessed with Meade. At least he’s admitting to it, which is progress. Now, the reason why he says he has ruined his life is because while he was praising himself on, like, internet movie database message boards, he thinks that, like, music and movie executives were visiting Mead’s page, reading this stuff, and it turned them off. And that’s why Mead hasn’t gotten a lot of opportunities in Hollywood. That’s the reason. Mead feels like his life has been squandered.
Meade Skelton
wasted my tender you can never get this back okay you can never get your youth back this is just more of the midlife crisis coming out i lost a lot of gigs that way a lot of people saw the internet stuff they would not book me on for shows i’ve you know shows were canceled didn’t know why and i wonder well why are shows canceled well you’re arguing with people and i was arguing with people on this internet movie database who worked in Hollywood. They were casting directors. They were influential people. This is why if you’re an entertainer,
Timmyboo
just keep your mouth fucking shut. You don’t need to weigh in on every important issue. Chances are, if it’s controversial, you’re going to alienate half of your potential audience with your stupid opinion. Just be like, you know, if an interviewer asks you a question, just be like, I’m dumb. I’m an idiot actor. I am paid to read words on a script, not to think. I am not knowledgeable about this particular topic, so ah, no. In the words of Cherie Braventi, just say ah, nah. Curiously, a little later in the video, out of nowhere, Meade says this. No, I’m not on the Epstein file. Like, no one thought you were until now. You know those 20,000 emails that were recently released? I don’t know if any of you have a copy of those things, but if you could, do a search for the word mead or Richmond bread or sweet tea,
Meade Skelton
because I have a hunch. On Epstein’s list, and I never solicited minors. There was minors after me.
Timmyboo
Okay, you shouldn’t have even brought this up, Mead, because I’m going to call bullshit on your version of the story before you even tell it. Why would a 15-year-old be interested in an unemployed fat dude with autism living with his dad? You know, when a 15-year-old is looking at, like, hot dudes, you’re not the kind of type they fantasize about. You know what I mean? I mean…
Meade Skelton
There was minors after me. There was someone… Minors, plural. …entrap me. This 15-year-old girl who kept saying, say I’m sexy and said I was attractive. I said, no, no, no. Get away from me, darling.
Timmyboo
get away get away have you entertained the possibility that that 15 year old could have been another succubus just looking to sit on your face good thing you rebuked her you let that girl come over and she straddles you boom next thing you know she’s an old hag demon witch you know i was 25
Meade Skelton
at the time oh and you know but i you know i had a lot of that going on but i don’t know what else to say except I just really regret a lot of it. A lot of choices.
Timmyboo
How about that song Black Lives Matter when they go splatter? Do you regret that decision? How about Hang a Commie? Any regret there? Mead does have one extremely
Meade Skelton
large regret. Every day we choose life or death. That’s what the Bible says. I don’t know why I chose these glass frames. I think that was choosing death
Timmyboo
quite frankly. Yeah, he’s got old lady glasses right now.
Meade Skelton
I was on a budget. it um i look like an i look like a lesbian aunt is what i look like see because yeah the hair
Timmyboo
the glasses he’s also wearing flannel the whole ensemble screams middle-aged lesbian is what i
Meade Skelton
look like see because yeah very kara swisher or rachel maddow see this is what happens This is, dare I say, dare I say, I was sort of a pretty boy, I guess, when I was younger. And this is how we age. We turn into old lesbians.
Timmyboo
Not every pretty boy turns into a lesbian. You were just kind of cursed. By the way, guess which audio I’ll be isolating.
Meade Skelton
I look like a lesbian.
Timmyboo
Yeah, you’ll hear that again on the podcast. All right, moving on. That’s the latest meat update. Speaking of updates, Tonetta. Yes, that Tonetta. He’s back, baby Lyrical genius Tonetta It’s only one word, but my God, is that a catchy tune? Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka Yes, Toneta has returned. I don’t have a new song for you, but he did recently get on Instagram to say hello, and I think maybe something’s wrong with him.
Tonetta
I remember the time when I was force-fed. He kept shoving that cock down my throat until he came, and then he told me to swallow. I had to swallow it.
Timmyboo
Obviously, what Toneta is describing here is a vicious sexual assault.
Tonetta
In order for him to leave me alone, I was force-fed, people. I was force-fed. But it tasted pretty good.
Timmyboo
That’s because Tonetta loves… Well, while we’re at it, might as well feature another mentally ill tard you’ve come to grow in love. Stacey Kennison is a woman who is being tortured by celebrity Sandra Bullock. I’m pretty sure Sandy has tried to light Stacey Kennison’s pubic hair on fire. Poor Stacey. When it rains, it pours. Although, honestly, if it started raining, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, especially considering her cunt is on fire. The rain might extinguish it, you know. Anyway, here is Stacey Kennison, and unsurprisingly, things are not going well for her. Actually, things are going very, very bad, as a matter of fact.
Audio
It’s me, Stacey Kennison, Diane Lane.
Timmyboo
Another A-list celebrity is after my poor Stacey. You know Diane Lane from movies like Under the Tuscan Sun, Untraceable, Unfaithful, and The Outsiders. Well, when she’s not busy filming blockbusters, she’s out and about harassing schizophrenics.
Audio
It’s me, Stacey Kennison. Diane Lane, who’s been blaspheming my Holy Spirit on my bare genitalium, has been harassing me, plotting to murder me to try and make peace in the Middle East because she wants a Jewish man in Oklahoma to rape me and for me to be forced to burn him for relief so that she can burn me and then notify the people in the Middle East that there can be peace now and that Diane’s coming for her blessing from my family in the Middle East.
Timmyboo
Yeah, it’s that old thing. We’ve heard this plot a million times. Couldn’t you be a little more creative, Diane Lane? Sandra Bullock has already tried this.
Audio
I also heard Diane say that I have a holier-than-thou attitude, and I said, no, Diane, I just speak the truth, and it’s not in your favor, So it seems that way because I’m an entitled victim that’s innocent and you’re a guilty criminal, Diane. So Diane Lane, if you don’t stop blasting my Holy Spirit and trying to kill me and make people rape me and plot to make me burn them and for you to burn me and get a blessing for my family in the Middle East, you’re going to get an ex-aparte slapped on you and arrested.
Timmyboo
Things are about to get real unpleasant for Diane Lane if she doesn’t cut this shit out. So we featured some mentally unstable people on the podcast today. We also featured Toneta, who is a musician and mentally unstable. Let’s combine this all and end with some music from someone who is mentally unstable. This apparently is someone who has had to deal with a lot of narcissists in her life over the years. And something I’ve noticed, a lot of times when you get people calling out narcissists on YouTube and Instagram, They themselves are pretty fucked up. This is Ava via music.
Audio
You want to know the last thing I ever said to my mom?
Timmyboo
I’m on the edge of my goddamn seat.
Audio
Bye. Love you. Call me after dinner. You want to know the last thing my sister said? You’re never allowed in my house again. And I’m not coming for Thanksgiving.
Timmyboo
This song is called We Are All Abusers. And Ava says this is an incredibly important song for Thanksgiving in the TikTok age. Next time you feel like being nasty to someone who loves you, remember that this might be the last time you ever talk to them. Ava is working through some stuff here. Thankfully, her medium of choice for this therapy is music. Although, gotta say, she’s not really sticking to any sort of musical conventions when it comes to recording this song. Not really like verses and choruses, rhyming, singing. Sounds like she’s just bitching about her family here.
Audio
Because she was mad about something that happened during a baby shower game.
Timmyboo
Sorry, Ava. I want to be on your side here, but I need more specifics. Your sister might be in the right for being a little pissed off at you. It all depends on what you did during this baby shower game. You should have just had an abortion. Like, did you scream something like that? Did you kick her in her stomach? Did you fuck her husband? Like, there’s a lot of reasons why she might be pissed.
Audio
He disagrees, came to me, he gaslights me somehow. And in case you haven’t heard, we are all abusers now.
Timmyboo
Okay, it’s starting to sound more like a song. A bad song, but still. The building blocks are there.
Audio
So hit that like, subscribe, and then start sharpening your knife. Together, we can cut the ones who love you from your life.
Timmyboo
Somehow, it does get worse. There’s another hallmark of a Linda Fingal Hall of Famer, repetition Hey, I know what this song needs Nope, still not helping it Yeah, the song is really about letting go of your own bitterness. Phones are making people self-absorbed, anxious, frustrated, short-tempered, and lonely. TikTok therapists misuse real clinical terms like boundaries, abuse, toxic neglect, gaslighting. Their advice tends to be you should cut people out of your life and focus on your own self-care. But Ava is saying, no, you’re going to end up with no one in your life. Then you’re just going to be sitting home alone, living a pathetic existence, listening to music like this.
Audio
You’re toxic when your words have unintended ill effects and every unmet need is emotional neglect.
Timmyboo
So the song really isn’t about cutting out narcissists in your life. It’s about just putting up with their bullshit for the holidays, I guess. Okay, well, thank you very much, Ava. By the way, she’s not like a therapist or anything. According to her profile, she lives in an RV and just travels around to surf and scuba dive and play. She’s got a lot of free time to make a lot of really bad music. All right, and with that, let’s get into the crazy, bizarre twist to the fucked up news right now. Hey, if you enjoy Distorted View Daily, please consider supporting the show. Become a member of the Sideshow. That’s where all the exclusive content goes. Typically, at least two times a week, I do Sideshow exclusive episodes. Tomorrow we’ll be doing one. So if you want to hear it, You got to sign up. Go to distortedview.com right now. Memberships are very inexpensive. You can opt for a monthly, quarterly, semi-annual, yearly, or even a lifetime membership. The Sideshow works with most podcasting apps. When you sign up, you get a podcast feed that you can copy and paste into whatever podcast app you use. Now, if you happen to use Apple Podcasts or Spotify, you can sign up for Sideshow access right inside of those apps. in Spotify. You’ll just search for Distorted View and then you’ll find the link to sign up for the side show inside of Spotify and all of the exclusive shows will appear in your app. Other ways to support the show, we’ve got a Patreon account, patreon.com slash Distorted View. If you pledge $5 over there, you get access to a special voicemail line where I will play your calls first. You can also sponsor an episode of DV like my good buddy Matt from the Jamhole did. Thank you so much, Matt. Just PayPal me 25 bucks to show at distortedview.com and make sure to let me know if you want me to say anything, a message you want me to get out there, audio clips you want me to play or something. I did want to take just a second and single out one person who has helped me out so much. His name is Douche John. You know, occasionally I will get random PayPal donations, which is very, very nice and totally necessary, totally needed. and they just come out of nowhere sometimes. And Douche John really helped out with an amazing PayPal donation. He says, this is because I love the show and I’ve listened since 2004, 2005 before the sideshow was even in existence. Many days of laughter. I’m in, I don’t even know what that word is. I’m in itinerant. What is that word? I’ve never run across that word before. That can’t be real. And how dare you use a big word? You knew that was going to trip me up. Itinerant. Itinerant. See, when I play that, it doesn’t sound so hard. That sounds like a word I should know, not only how to pronounce, but I should know the definition. I know itinerary. I know what that is. Itinerant is traveling from place to place. Of course, I knew that, but I’m just letting you guys know, you dum-dums. Anyway, so this guy is traveling from place to place. He’s in Australia, currently living in the Solomon Islands. And of course, I know where that’s at. Well, listen, Douche John, thank you so much. The podcast biz isn’t what it used to be. So I definitely try to diversify a bit, like how the money comes in, like through, you know, merchandise, you know, during the Christmas time, trying to do more sponsorships. The listener sponsorships, of course, and all that jazz. But when people just donate money via PayPal or whatever, it’s a nice surprise. And it certainly does help me out. So thank you so much for that. Why can’t you all be more like John and give me your hard-earned money? Thank you. All right, a couple real quick news stories, and we’ll get the hell out of here first up. This one just happens to come from our most fucked up state. Say it with me.
Audio
Florida.
Audio
Our most fucked up state. Yes, it’s Florida.
Timmyboo
Out of all the annoying social media stars that I am aware of, and I realize I am now an old man, so there are plenty I don’t know, but I’m aware of people like Jake Paul, Logan Paul, Mr. Beast. They’re all annoying. Many have punchable faces. But the most punchable face of all, I have to say, is this kid named Jack Doherty. Now, we have featured him only a couple times on the show, most notably when this little asshole was driving around in his McLaren. Yeah, a vehicle that costs probably somewhere around $200,000 to $300,000. This little twerp, broccoli-headed freak is driving around in the rain, speeding, on his phone, texting, when the totally expected occurs. He begins to… No, he doesn’t orgasm. That’s not the noise I’m trying to make here. Oh, God. Although I almost came when I watched this video because I’m like, oh, did he die? Oh, God. Yeah, I’m so close. Tell me he was decapitated. Oh, God. Let me blow my load. If only, right? No, I did. I got close to coming, but I did not orgasm because he survived. What I was trying to say is he hydroplaned and destroyed his vehicle. Here’s a little bit of that. He’s looking on his… Yeah, he’s looking at his phone. He’s looking at the road about half the time. He’s like down on his phone for a couple seconds, up in the road for a couple seconds.
Audio
Oh! Oh! No! No! No!
Timmyboo
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Audio
Oh, fuck. No, watch out, watch out.
Timmyboo
Now, what’s more infuriating than anything is, He’s got a friend in the passenger side and doesn’t give a shit about him. The friend is bleeding from his head. And Jack is like, hold my phone. Make sure you get this. Help. Help. Oh, shit. He can’t get out.
Audio
Help. Help. Help. Break the fucking window. Oh. Oh. Help. Help me out now.
Timmyboo
Some people on the outside broke the window for him. So the camera is black because the phone has been thrown God knows where, right? Eventually, the very next image you see, though, is his friend who’s covered in blood. Bro, my whole fucking car, bro. No fucking way. A lot of that will buff right out. Oh my gosh. There’s not much of the car left. there’s no fucking michael here hold the fucking camera michael stop trying to sop up all the blood
Audio
gushing from your head although look you know this guy’s whole livelihood comes from
Timmyboo
streaming and this is like must see youtube or twitch or wherever he streams probably kick so he realized this is this is going to be a money maker this will pay for any sort of repair or just to replace the McLaren. No biggie. Anyway, that incident happened over a year ago at this point. But Jack is back in the news, baby. Social media personality Jack Doherty, 22, was arrested early Saturday in the entertainment district of Miami Beach after allegedly refusing police orders while filming a video in a public roadway and being found in possession of drugs. Police say that at around 3.12 a.m., Officers conducting an enforcement detail on the 700 block of Washington Avenue observed a group of assholes entering the roadway. Doherty reportedly separated from the group and moved into traffic to film video content while ignoring multiple commands to exit the road, telling officers, Once I’m done with this, bet! When arrested, authorities say they discovered half of an orange oval-shaped pill with a 3 imprinted on it. Maybe it was just a multivitamin. I know Jack is very health conscious. Like, dude, that’s my osteobiflex pill. Yeah, I’m concerned about early onset arthritis. Gotta take care of your joints, motherfucker. Actually, that pill is consistent with a Schedule II amphetamine along with a small plastic bag holding three hand-roll cannabis cigarettes weighing about four grams. Jack knows what he’s doing. The meth brings you up and the joints mellow you the fuck back down. Doherty was booked on three charges, possession of a controlled substance. That would be the meth. Possession of 20 grams or less of cannabis and resisting an officer without violence. His bond was set at $3,500, which is nothing for him when, you know, he’s rolling around in a McLaren. Hours before his arrest, Doherty posted footage of himself aboard a yacht in Miami and referenced the live stream app Party in his Instagram stories. Doherty, who has amassed tens of millions of followers across social platforms and is known for stunt style content and attention grabbing pranks, has been the subject of previous controversy. In October of 2024, he crashed his $200,000 McLaren during a live stream. In a statement, the Miami Beach Police Department emphasized that regardless of celebrity status, and I hate that we’re calling him a celebrity, but whatever, that’s the fucking world we’re living in now, officers will enforce rules and maintain public safety, underscoring their stance against behavior they say endangered motorists and officers. It’s not yet confirmed whether Doherty has retained legal representation. His spokesperson and the police department did not respond to immediate requests for comments. So there you go. Doherty is back in the news for all the right reasons. Second story we have for you. Interestingly, this story has to do with a car crash. A Montana man told state troopers he crashed into another vehicle because he was attempting to piss into an empty Budweiser can while driving. Guys, let’s not judge too harshly yet. We don’t know all of the facts. And quite frankly, as someone who has pissed while on the road, there’s a lot that can go wrong. It’s hard to do You’ve got a can Or in my case I was using like a water bottle It seemed like 16.9 ounces were going to be Enough room for me to get all the piss Out but it wasn’t You gotta worry about overflow Spillage, aiming The holes are very small The fact that he was pissing in an empty Budweiser can is a little concerning Sure the cops had some questions About that Authorities say 53-year-old James Howard was traveling eastbound on the Interstate 90 exit ramp near Missoula on the night of November 8th when he failed to stop and struck a Volkswagen waiting at a red light. Oh, I’m sure that piss went everywhere. You know he couldn’t bottle that up. That’s why you always urinate in bottles, not cans. But I get it. He was improvising. He had to go and he pissed in his Budweiser can that he obviously just finished. The collision occurred shortly after 9 p.m., according to a dispatcher report. When a highway patrol officer approached Howard’s Chevrolet Suburban, fancy, the trooper saw him holding a large Budweiser can, which Howard moved towards the center console. He later surrendered the can and told officers it was being used as a makeshift urinal. Howard reportedly admitted that he had attempted to relieve himself while the vehicle was moving, causing him to rear-end the car ahead of him. Again, that checks out because I know when you’re pissing, especially in a car, it requires a lot of focus. You want all of your attention on not spraying everywhere. Officers noted his clothing was wet. See, it’s difficult. His speech was slurred and he smelled strongly of alcohol and probably urine. A records check showed his driver’s license had been suspended earlier in the month and that he had four prior DUI convictions. Howard also acknowledged to officers that he had more than a couple of DUIs in the past and was not legally allowed to drive. The driver of the Volkswagen told officers he noticed headlights approaching rapidly from behind and warned his passengers to brace for impact. No serious injuries were reported. After failing field sobriety tests, Howard was transported to a town pump gas station where an intoxilizer test recorded a blood alcohol concentration more than three times the legal limit. Howard was booked into the Missoula County Detention Facility and charged with felony aggravated DUI, reckless driving, and driving with a suspended license. Bond was set at $10,000. Remember, Jack Doherty, who was caught with meth, marijuana, and resisting an officer, his bond was only set at, what, like $3,000? I guess because this guy already has, like, four or five DUIs. That’s why the bond was set so high. Makes sense. That, my friends, is your story news for Monday. Let’s do a couple voicemails and get the hell out of here.
Audio
You can now text TV anytime. It’s the Harry Cunt mobile texting line. For Harry Cunt. Start sexting. For Harry Cunt. Send those nudes for Harry Cunt. For Harry Cunt.
Timmyboo
Yes. Many ways to contact the show. Show at distortedview.com. I’m all over social media at distortedview on Twitter and Instagram. Facebook.com slash distortedviewshow. We’ve got two voicemail lines. We’ve got a standard 206-666-4463. Or if you pledge $5 a month or more, you get access to our special voicemail line just for patrons. I play those calls first. As you just heard, we also have a text line. You can use the standard 206-666-4463. I’ll get text there too. But I got to say, 4HairyCunt is just a way more fun phone number to dial or input or whatever. And I have been receiving a lot of texts. Thank you so much to everyone texting whatever phone line you’re using. Juan texted. He said, today I learned that in Michigan, they don’t have Snap. There’s been a lot of talk about Snap recently with the government shutdown. People on government assistance not receiving their Snap benefits. In Michigan, it’s not called Snap, though. Theirs is called FAP, the Food Assistance Program. And that’s true. Juan included a link to Michigan’s FAP program website. I would love to be a recipient of FAP. Sideshow member Delta9 messaged me and reminded me that they mailed a soda from Wisconsin last year. And then they included a news story, which we’ll probably go over soon. Someone from the 402 area code was playing cards against humanity with their friends. The card, the question read, what’s the most problematic? Someone said Hamas. Another card read Africa. And probably the DV listener laid down the card. The people of Florida. 856 area code sent along that new mead video. We covered that. Thank you. And then as the jingle for the for Harry cunt voicemail line instructs, You can send nudes. And someone from the 970 area code did that. I happened to be lying in bed with Lord Douche, just messing around on TikTok and stuff. And I got notification and I read the message to him. I was like, oh God, here we go. The message reads, someone needs to see this since I’m getting no action. You’re welcome. Love you, Timmy Boo. So Lord Douche and I both watched the attached video of a DV listener jerking off. Pretty well endowed. Nice work, my friend. Finally, after all these years, voicemail line, email, now the text. It’s paying off. This is all I ever wanted from you freaks. Your money and your dick pics. First one to show me whole gets a distorted view t-shirt. There used to be that website. I think it was called like, are you up or is anyone up? Remember that? It was like that site that would just allow anyone to post nudes of other people. So like disgruntled boyfriends or ex-boyfriends would send in videos and images of their ex-girlfriends to post on this website. The guy who ran his name was Hunter. Remember, he’s like an asshole. He got in trouble. And I think he went to jail for a while. Anyway, if you would like show your butthole, right? If you would send a butthole shot that he would send you a T-shirt. It’s a good policy. We should start that. All right, let’s do a couple of voicemails here. Speak loudly and clearly, my freak. Hello, faggot. Oh, boy. It’s beautiful and hamster.
Audio
I just wanted to touch on.
Timmyboo
Surprise, he hasn’t sent in a dick pic yet.
Audio
On a couple of things here. I, the last time I called, I think I was telling you about getting walked in on while watching porn. Yes. Gay, hardcore gay porn. Nice. My girlfriend walked in on me. And to finish the story, I was wondering in the difference. It just seems like if I was in a gay relationship and I happened to get up horny and the partner’s sleeping and you need to get your rocks off.
Timmyboo
I mean, I think Lord Douche would prefer if I jerk off, you know, so I don’t bother him. That happened in a gay relationship.
Audio
This was more likely no awkward moment. It would be just like, hey, let me join you. I think that would happen more likely in a homosexual.
Timmyboo
Now, the question is, you’re bi. Is your girlfriend straight or bi? I feel like if your girlfriend was bi, she probably wouldn’t care as much. But the fact that she’s straight, I think, is the issue.
Audio
Relationship.
Audio
Now, to touch on another subject, I did see that you brought back our favorite pedophile, Galileo. Now, I don’t, I’m pretty much down for anything as long as there are no children or animals involved.
Timmyboo
So, but see, with Galileo, it’s children. So I can understand if you don’t like him.
Audio
So I don’t agree on everything, but I can kind of agree on the whole women having two women in power. Now, it just so happens.
Timmyboo
Wait, what are you agreeing with exactly? Is Galileo winning you over? This is a slippery slope. Once Galileo starts making sense, then, you know, other things that he says could make sense.
Audio
Marriages lasted longer back when women weren’t allowed to have their own… When they knew their place. …bank account. Let’s just focus on that a little. Well, yeah. Well, I’ll let you finish. Remember them days. I wasn’t born, but I remember reading about it and learning about it. There was a time where divorces were rare and divorces was frowned upon. Today, there’s divorce parties. What happened throughout history? Could it have been that?
Timmyboo
Okay, I mean, this is so stupid. If you were a woman back in the 1800s or early 1900s or 20 years ago or whatever, you couldn’t have a credit card. I mean, basically, women didn’t even really work. They had no options, right? Of course they’re not going to get a divorce. It’s scary because what are you going to do when you get a divorce? You’ve got nothing, right? But it’s easier to get a divorce when you can live on your own. you have a job of your own. You’re going to be okay if you leave a man. So rather than being a slave or feeling like you’re trapped, I can’t believe I’m having to say all of this out loud. Me, of all people, a notorious woman hater. I hate women so much, I can’t even stomach the thought of cunt. Makes me ill. No, but you know what I’m saying, right? I mean, you know why there’s a… Whatever. This is not the podcast for that. Who the fuck cares?
Audio
Timmy Boo, Sir Osis of Liver Sheep. Hey, long time listener. I know you. I remember you. A few, I want to say a few weeks ago, you were talking on your show about this weird thing we’ve been hearing of Ukrainians are not white or X group that is paler than sour cream is not white. Yeah. And I wanted to give you some context on that. Please do. Because I’m dumb. From what I understand, when the OG Nazis were making their little tier list of all the races, or of course, like the Germans were S tier, and then you have the French, maybe their A or B tier. Well, according to them, Russians and Irish were all the way down in F tier. But with like black people and Jewish people? They were considered, in fact, lower than Africans and Indians. Wow. The reason for that, if I’m correct, is the Neanderthals, well, they were the genetically superior cavemen. However, Russian and Irish, they were technically not Neanderthals. No, they were Mongoloids, different from the homo, Neanderthal, whatever that the Nazis thought made them superior genetically. so it became a thing where even though the nazi officers had to follow the rules of war like you know be respectful to prisoners don’t do this or that don’t burn down villages well when they invaded eastern europe they were told they did not have to follow those rules so that’s why a lot of the war crimes committed by the Nazis were mainly in Eastern Europe, not in Western Europe. And I guess this type of logic just kind of pervades to this very day. Right. Russians and Irish are subhuman. It’s very strange and retarded. But once again, these are racists we’re talking about.
Timmyboo
That’s true. Anyway. Well, thank you very much for the information that was helpful, I guess, in some way. I’m not sure exactly how it was helpful, but it’s good to know. Hey,
Audio
Timmy Boo Boo, this is Puerto Rican Fat Man speaking. I’m just calling to tell you, happy Labor Day. You’re not the real Puerto Rican Fat Man. By the time you get to the free side, it will be Halloween, maybe Thanksgiving.
Timmyboo
Yeah, well, we’re closer to Thanksgiving.
Audio
All right, Timmy. Feliz Tierra de los Gracias.
Timmyboo
Well, give my best to Boy Pussy Jones.
Audio
Te amo. muchacho.
Timmyboo
All right. Thank you very much, fake Puerto Rican fat man. That is all the time we have on this edition of the show. I want you guys to email me at distordemview.com. distordemview.com is our official website. Voicemail line for you, 206-666-4463. That’s 206-66. So God, is it all God?
Meade Skelton
I look like a lesbian.
Timmyboo
Spread the distortion, STD. Tell all your friends about the show. Don’t forget to give us a five-star rating, a thumbs up, or like wherever you can rate and review podcasts. Special thanks goes out Matt from the Jam Hole. Everyone check out the Jam Hole podcast. I will provide a link on the show notes today. If you’re sideshow freaks, I’ll see you back tomorrow. Otherwise, I will see you on
Audio
Wednesday. Until then, have a great day. Bye, everybody!
Audio
music
Audio
This has been another excellent podcast from the Scrob Media Group. Learn more at Scrod.net.
