On Today’s Show:
DDistorted View Daily — Monday, December 15, 2025 (Show Notes)
Kick off the week with 12 Deals of Distorted View Daily and a fresh batch of filth, freaks: $3 off ALL Distorted View mugs (including new designs like Rimjob Raccoon) using promo code LATTE (L-A-T-T-E) at shop.distortedview.com.
Today’s Highlights (aka: why your therapist hates this podcast)
- Holiday merch deal: $3 off any DV mug for 24 hours with LATTE at shop.distortedview.com
- Sponsor shout-out: “Urethral Fistula” gifts the show to his brother Dan… and Tim delivers a scorched-earth “welcome back” message plus a bonus Heavy Bertation Monday
- Heavy Bertation segment: a classic news-anchor brain-glitch that spirals into total word-salad madness (and somehow becomes a love letter to neurological failure)
- Pause Load Monday returns: a quick-and-nasty “toxic seed” audio clip that immediately goes too far (but you knew that already)
- Mead Skelton meltdown: Mead posts a sad YouTube confession about having no friends, then explains he mainly wants a friend for wingman services and “structure”
- Mead’s cursed dating history: includes an epileptic racist date, a chimp-attack injury story, and the revelation that 8-year-old Mead thought a “tent kiss” got a girl pregnant
- Jesse Lee Peterson vs. Erica Kirk: Jesse reacts to widow Erica Kirk grieving on camera and… predictably says the quiet part loudly (and stupidly)
- Police bodycam traffic stop chaos: a simple tint/plate issue turns into cuffs, screaming relatives, and expensive consequences—because cooperation is apparently illegal in this family
- Distorted News: the Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates list is packed with poop, drugs, sex, and threats—plus the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest reminder that states can keep rejecting plate messages
Distorted News: What got rejected (Ohio vanity plates)
A sampling of the denied personalized plates includes:
- Bathroom panic: POOPSACK, I HAVE TO PEE, HV2POOP, GTA2POOP
- Drugs: HEROIN, ONMETH, LOVEMETH, NOMETH
- Sex/NSFW: 69LMAO, MILF, STROKEN
- Violence/threats: ILLCUTU, SLOWHO
- Politics-coded entries also show up in the mix (because of course they do)
Community Stuff & Freak Interactions
- New 4HAIRYCNT text line gets plugged (because Tim’s brand is professionalism)
- Texts roast Tim for blowing money on Nintendo while “cheap-ing out” on the kitchen remodel with Lord Douche
- Listener photo “kind of nude” gets added to Tim’s “spank bank” (a sentence that should get you flagged from polite society)
- Voicemails: long-time Sideshow member jokes about “canceling” to rejoin via the updated site, plus a recommendation to look up Ratgrave for VR trolling/proximity-chat style chaos
Quick PSA: Acid enemas are a terrible idea
Tim digs into the horrific medical reality behind corrosive enemas, including documented cases of severe colon damage, emergency surgery, strictures, and risks like perforation/sepsis—then, naturally, immediately turns it into an invitation for future “anything in the anus” breaking news coverage.
Deal reminder: $3 off ALL DV mugs today only with LATTE at shop.distortedview.com
Podcast keywords for search: Distorted View Daily, Tim Henson, comedy podcast, Sideshow, Ohio BMV rejected vanity plates, acid enema dangers, Mead Skelton, Heavy Bertation, police bodycam traffic stop, Jesse Lee Peterson, Charlie Kirk widow Erica Kirk
Links:
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Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236
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Podcast: Download
AI Transcript (There Will Be Errors)
Timmyboo
It’s the 12 deals of Distorted View Daily. I’m back with another one for you, freaks. How does $3 off all mugs sound? From our classic DV models to new ones introduced this year, including Rimjob Raccoon, who says, Ass play is for everyone. Take $3 off any Distorted View mug at shop.distortedview.com when you use promo code Latte L-A-T-T-E Promo code Latte For $3 off any mug In the Distorted View store Hey freaks It’s Monday December 15th 2025 coming up on the program today Why acid enemas Might not be the best thing to squirt up your asshole Plus that time an 8 year old Mead Skelton nearly impregnated A girl and passing poop sack On the highway All this with your voicemails today on TV!
AUDIO
Come on to Pearl Mesa It is too It is too Come one mañana David Arno Come on to Sanresa It is too It is too I see It is too Te da esperanza, it is too, it is too Como you be a fresca in this manos Como una febrisa, it is too, it is too I see, I see, it is too It is true Come well, I’m a friend It is true El fuego day You’re gone It’s Distorted View Daily Sponsored by TV listener Urethro fistula The vagina is full of AIDS And I love the appetite of semen in my mouth I’m a mommy You’re a mommy? I’m a mommy
Timmyboo
Yes, Jim Henson back here with you To kick off a new week of programs Got a great one for you Made even better because yes We’ve got a sponsor, Rotterpate. Tell us more.
AUDIO
Urethral fistula, right? Tim, but Merry Crisis. I would like to sponsor a show for the holidays as a gift to my brother because I don’t know what the fuck else to get him. He actually lives in your area and saw you in the wild at Chipotle years ago. His name is Dan. You have my permission to say his name. I don’t think he listens to DV anymore, so please give him shit for that. and convince him that he should come back to his senses. I would appreciate it if you could muster a heavy bertation, even a classic one will do, to help persuade him. Sincerely, Urethral Fistula.
Timmyboo
Well, thank you very much, Mr. Fistula. I’m heartbroken to hear your brother no longer listens to DV, so if I could just speak to him directly right now, I think I might be able to plead with him, Beg him, convince him to once again subscribe to Distorted View Daily. David, hi. Long time no speaky. I’m Tim Henson, host of Distorted View. At one time, one of your favorite podcasts. And I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, may you rot in hell. I’m not going to beg you to listen to this podcast. I don’t need you. Why bother wasting my time trying to convince someone who doesn’t really want to listen that, oh, you should give me another chance.
AUDIO
I’ve got such a good podcast. I promise I’ll entertain you the way you like it. You don’t deserve me in your life.
Timmyboo
You made your choice, David, and now you have to live with it. And you live with it in that damp, moist, disgusting, moldy studio apartment of yours reeking of wet dog and vegetable soup in the inside of a pair of filthy crocs. May your ass always itch. Never feel clean, no matter how much you wipe. May every shit feel unfinished. And may your prostate enlarge to concerning levels, preventing you from ever experiencing another satisfying piss. I consulted some witch friends of mine and they wrote a spell. I will now hex you forevermore, forever eternity, returning your back on the Distorted View Daily Podcast.
AUDIO
By moonlight and mildew, I damn you thus. May your zipper always snag and your penis ooze pus. Sucky fucky, guaggle guaggle. May a big burly man make you his faggle. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Timmyboo
Sorry I had to do that, but no one betrays Distorted View Daily and gets away with it. No, no, no. I have to make an example out of David. That being said, if you decide to start listening to DV again as a reward, here’s a brand new Heavy Bertation! Heavy Bertation!
AUDIO
I don’t know what they’re saying! Heavy Bertation! I don’t know what they’re saying! It’s Heavy Bertation Monday! Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen says Wisconsin is the latest state including Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Ohio, and Wyoming to join Florida’s suit. The states claiming the exorcist saw unto Sracho and play bring risk.
Timmyboo
This is a pretty good heavy rotation. Now, to be fair, this is just new to me. This is from a news report many years ago. And it’s got all the elements of a great heavy rotation. It starts off, you know, she’s speaking English. She’s being coherent. Then there’s that moment where she like stops. Many states have joined the suit. You can tell the exact moment when her brain shuts off or starts misfiring. Many states have joined this. It’s like. And then words that aren’t really words come up, but they sound like things like a word. Like she’s kind of says the word exorcist.
AUDIO
States claiming the exorcist.
Timmyboo
The exorcist. I thought I also heard Sriracha in there.
AUDIO
Saw unto Sriracha and play Bring Ritz.
Timmyboo
Sriracha is the masculine version of Sriracha.
AUDIO
Bye. health earns it.
Timmyboo
The video where I got this from is kind of funny. These people that suffer from heavy portations are obviously going through a medical emergency. They’re either stroking out or they’re dehydrated and some sort of diabetic fit. The person who compiled this video says, there’s something going on here. There’s a lot of news reporters speaking gibberish. This could be the early steps of humanity evolving into something else. Like, what? Vegetables? I wouldn’t say this is an evolution. These people are not able to communicate anymore. They’re slurring their words. This kind of is what humanity is coming to. Let me tell you before 29. Ketchup mustard. Gurgle, gurgle. And sanguine bread. Thank you. There’s a special heavy rotation for David, even though I want him back as a listener. Fuck you. But if you do insist on listening, welcome back. You hurt my feelings. It’s going to take a while for me to trust you again. This has been a heavy rotation. I don’t know what you’re saying. Heavy rotation. A shabby shabby situation. Heavy rotation. I don’t know what you’re saying.
AUDIO
It’s a Monday.
Timmyboo
You should actually feel pretty special because as everyone knows, Thursday is typically when we do heavy rotation. It’s usually heavy rotation Thursday. We already have a special segment we do on Mondays. I can’t imagine why anyone like David would ever stop listening to Distorted View. It’s a real mystery. I didn’t really have a Pause Load Monday segment ready to go. I just wanted to play the intro. However, you know me. Of course, I have an entire library of Pause Load porn. I could pull clips from. So let’s do one real quick on the fly. Fucking sweet fucking hole. Yeah.
AUDIO
Fuck yeah.
Timmyboo
Look at that.
AUDIO
When I fucking spread it open. Fuck yeah. That’s where all my fucking toxic seed is in. Right fucking there.
Timmyboo
All my fucking toxic high fucking seed is fucking come. This is the type of clip that Pause Load Monday was created for.
AUDIO
Fucking love that. I’m going to get this fucking bitch pregnant. All my fucking toxic come in that fucking hole. Yeah, it all sounds very good. Look at how swollen those fucking lips are. Now you’ve gone too far.
Timmyboo
You guys know I don’t like it when buttholes are described as having lips. I don’t like butt lips, ass lips, nothing like that. Swollen lips. Come on. Let’s have a little decorum here.
AUDIO
It’s all fucking cream. It’s all fucking toxic seed. Most of it’s up his fucking hole. All right.
Timmyboo
There you go. That’s your pause load. Monday. Let’s move on. I’ve got some great Mead Skelton audio. He recently turned to YouTube to complain that he has no friends. It’s his biggest regret in life.
AUDIO
What I do regret, though, folks, is not making friendships. Okay?
Timmyboo
Well, did you really have much choice in the matter? You know, a friendship requires two people to both want to be friends. And your issue is that you’re just so fucking unlikable. You don’t make it very easy for people to befriend you.
AUDIO
Because, you know, in school, I had a lot of people that I call frenemies. They weren’t really my friends. But friendship, especially male friendships where, you know, you have a group of men together. Rubbing your hummus cannons together. Yeah.
Timmyboo
Oh, my God. We should hook meat up with Will Blunderfield. He’ll be your friend. You guys are going to do some Spartan shit together.
AUDIO
And doing manly things together. And being just friends, you know, friends and in friendship.
Timmyboo
He really does sound like someone who’s never had a friend.
AUDIO
What is a friend? A friend is someone that you are friendly with, experience friendship, and someone you can just be friends with. That’s my definition of friend.
Timmyboo
Typically, if someone produced a heartfelt YouTube video where he was like, I’ve never experienced friendship. I don’t have any friends. I’m very lonely. I would feel bad for that person. I wouldn’t make fun of them. This, though, is the exception because we know what Meade is like. He’s racist and homophobic and misogynistic and just a miserable person stealing money from his father. His decrepit, probably dead father he has stuffed up in the attic somewhere. I mean, good God.
AUDIO
I never knew how to make friends. You know, it’s very complicated. You know, it’s very complicated to make friends. Even in the era that I grew up in. I know everyone looks back and says, oh, it’s so easy in your day.
Timmyboo
It was easy to make friends when you were a kid. I lived across the street from a child. They became my best friend. It was a proximity thing more than anything, but, you know, we became friends. Even in middle school. I don’t think Joey liked me at all. We were not friends, and then one day I made a milk shoot out of his nose. I made him laugh, and then we were inseparable. You just got, you know, you can’t be weird. You can’t be super off-putting, mead. That’s the one thing you have to learn. Just change everything about you and you’ll have no problem getting friends.
AUDIO
No, it wasn’t. Not really. It was pretty much the same, you know. You had to be in to get in.
Timmyboo
I mean, it’s not a fucking country club. It’s just friends are just people you want to hang out with.
AUDIO
But that’s the one thing I do regret in my life. It’s just not making friends. Not having a close friend or a close network of friends. Preferably that are Christian.
Timmyboo
Well, here we go.
AUDIO
That can help you out.
Timmyboo
Go to church. I mean, that’s where one would find Christian friends, right? Me talked about church nonstop. Why can’t you find someone to hang out with at church? And everybody… Oh, I know why. It’s because you’re insufferable.
AUDIO
Who has that, they take it for granted. Like, they have friends. And with friends, you have structure. You have structure. And you have…
Timmyboo
What the fuck is that accent? You have structure. Yeah.
AUDIO
Stability.
Timmyboo
structure. When you go to school, you have structure. You have. The man wonders why no one wants to be friends with him. Now, he goes on to say the real reason why he wants a friend is, you know, for what they can do for him. Means a taker. He wants a guy to help him get him a girlfriend, I guess. You know, I never had a wing
AUDIO
man. Never had a wing man to help me, you know, with the females. Never had a wing man to help me with the females. So I never got into that. I never got into dating. I had, okay, let me count on my fingers, folks. Four dates in my, no, three, okay? One girl that I dated, bless her heart, was, well, she was an epileptic. She had, she would go into seizures.
Timmyboo
I love, I love this little detail about Mead’s dating history.
AUDIO
So, and I know that’s very difficult. I’m making, not making light of that, but She also had some other issues. I thought I was a racist.
Timmyboo
Oh, you are.
AUDIO
You are. And this girl was another level. Okay, let’s just say that.
Timmyboo
Holy shit, for Meade to say that? Was this bitch holding Klan rallies in her house or something? I will say this about Meade’s date. She’s interesting. She’s very quirky. She’s an epileptic, wants to lynch black people.
AUDIO
Because when I first talked to her, she said, I thought you were an in, you know, that no, I’m not an in. I’m just like you. But I was a little taken back by that. It wasn’t a deal breaker, obviously. I went on the date with her afterwards. I found it kind of cute.
Timmyboo
I wonder why there wasn’t a second date. Imagine being rejected by an epileptic racist. For me. Okay.
AUDIO
So that. Yeah. And then this other girl dated… What was wrong with her? She was bald and she was missing her lower lip. Got chewed off by a monkey. Yeah, it was one of them chimp attacks. She was a Christian, although she was a Methodist. Might as well be a Satanist if you ask me. That’s why it didn’t work out. Yeah. She just wanted to be on my show. I was doing a local community access show and she just wanted to sing on it. Oh, she was a star fucker.
Timmyboo
She gave me a hug and everything and it was sweet, but it didn’t work out. And then imagine this is the most physical it’s ever gotten on a date with me. I mean, that’s obviously why he brought it up, right?
AUDIO
She hugged me. I think the kids consider that to be third base, right? Yeah. She almost got pregnant. I was just shocked when I read that the average person is no longer a virgin by age 17. I was like, what?
Timmyboo
It’s so funny to hear him say this while he’s wearing his old lady glasses. He’s literally clutching pearls.
AUDIO
How can you have sex before marriage? Y’all are hell bound. Yeah. I thought, and I’ll tell y’all something funny. I thought I had lost my, you know what, when I was eight years old.
Timmyboo
I don’t think it would matter if you did lose it. You’re not using it. We are talking about your cock, right?
AUDIO
When I was eight years old, because I kissed a girl on the school bus, she said, let’s play tent. And we put our coats over our heads. And then she said, this is our marriage kiss. And she kissed me like that. I thought I’d gotten her pregnant.
Timmyboo
You know, I will give Mead a little bit of encouragement here. I know it’s Mead’s dream to become a father. And the great thing about being a guy is, assuming all your equipment works, we men have the ability to impregnate bitches our entire lives. So it’s not too late for you. You just, you really need to work on becoming wealthy. That’s going to be your best bet. Moving on, you know, last week we featured Jesse Lee Peterson. I don’t remember if that was a Sideshow exclusive program or not, but he’s back. And, you know, I love this man. He always surprises me with his takes. I think it’s going to go one way and then he zigs and zags. In this video, Jesse Lee talks about Erica Kirk. Erica Kirk, of course, is the widow of Charlie Kirk, who was assassinated not too long ago on a college campus. Erica did not take a lot of time to grieve. I guess she’s grieving, but she’s choosing to do it on camera. Anyone who will point a camera at her, she’s like, I will be there. Just tell me when to start crying. You know, when Charlie Kirk was alive, I didn’t even know he was married. Never saw this woman. Now I can’t not see her. She won’t go away. She is very, very right wing, of course, as was Charlie. So I thought Jesse Lee Peterson was kind of going to be on Team Erica. Thought he’d have a lot of nice things to say about her. Hmm, I was wrong. Erica. Kirk. The lights are on, but ain’t about a home. That is rich coming out of your mouth. Whatever side of your mouth is currently working. He can’t even pronounce her name right. And it’s not a hard name to pronounce. Erica. Erica Kirk. And the last time I saw her was when she was like, Oh, you mean after her husband was shot in the neck? Tied.
AUDIO
I forgive him.
Timmyboo
Yeah, she forgave the person who shot Charlie, so she says. But anyway, my bad.
AUDIO
You’re sick. He’s a human being. Not anymore. Jesus Jesse let the woman talk
Timmyboo
that husband of yours ain’t a human anymore he worm food they put him in the ground and the maggots are eating his eyeball out so the reason why Erica is crying today is because she’s responding to I don’t know if this was a message online on social media but someone said they wanted the HD version of Charlie Kirk getting shot they want to see that in beautiful crystal clear HD. Like a remaster. A director’s cut of the shooting, please. I understand Erica is not a fan of the person who wants the HD version of the murder, but as many have pointed out, this is something Charlie Kirk was kind of in favor of.
AUDIO
Like he wanted to see some beheadings. I want to watch that execution. That’ll make my day better. I want to see him on a public block and get him be publicly executed.
Timmyboo
I’m sure Charlie is talking about a criminal and not just a drag queen, I hope. Oh God, Charlie, please give the gays a break here today. But still, he goes on. Then he’s like, children should watch it too. You think children should have…
AUDIO
You should see it? What is the age? At what age should you start to see public executions? 16. I think you could do it earlier. I think maybe at age 12, 6th grade or so. You are a person, they’re old enough.
Timmyboo
They’re old enough to watch a beheading. I mean, they’re not old enough to see the movie home alone in theaters by themselves without a parental guardian. But a beheading, sure, why not? Anyway, back to Erica Kirk’s
AUDIO
blubbering. You think he deserved that?
Timmyboo
Tell that to my three-year-old daughter. Hey, in just a few years, she’ll be old enough to watch the murder herself. It’s what your husband would have wanted.
AUDIO
Here come the action.
Timmyboo
Yeah, she’s doing that thing I’ve noticed that some actors do. Like, I get where Jessie Lee is coming from here, right? Because she’s like, she keeps like twisting her head. And I think she’s trying to shake tears loose. Like, come on, this will be so much more poignant if I can just get a goddamn piece of water to roll down my cheek.
AUDIO
Now she’s acting again. Excuse me. This is a showcase personality. You want to watch in high res the video of my husband being murdered? And laugh. And say he deserves it. There’s something very sick in your soul. And I pray that God saves you. I pray. How dare she?
Timmyboo
I don’t want her help.
AUDIO
Because that is what is so wrong. The internet in this world has dehumanized us. I want to see him on a public block. and get him be publicly executed.
Timmyboo
I know. It’s not exactly a fair clip, because, again, Charlie was talking about probably terrorists or murderers.
AUDIO
The internet didn’t do that, lady. What the… What a mess! I wish her well done. I don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know what’s going on?
Timmyboo
The world saw her husband’s neck explode. She’s been a little affected by that, Jesse. I don’t know why she acted like that Unemotional, she on a rag or something She need to calm down with all that She on her period But I wish her well Yeah, good luck with all that blood gushing out of you Guess I could have said the same thing to your husband, huh? It’s applicable to both Better, bro Real quick before we get into the news One more short clip I’ve got a quick police body cam video here This is a perfect example of how a routine traffic stop can turn into a full-blown arrest that was totally unnecessary. This is someone who wanted to fight and be confrontational. I kind of knew this is where the video was heading within the first three seconds because I saw how tinted the driver’s windows were. They’re like pitch black. And the reason why she was pulled over is because she had tint or something obstructing the license plate. So the police officer couldn’t even really see those. She’s rolling down her window. And that’s how she greets the cop. We’re off to a great start.
AUDIO
Afternoon. License registration proof of insurance. Why are you pulling me? License. Insurance proof of registration. Why are you pulling me? I will let you know after you give me your license, registration, proof of insurance.
Timmyboo
Okay, so he said, I will tell you, but first you gotta show me your license, right?
AUDIO
My name is Officer Delvalar with Point Beach Police Department. But why are you pulling me? I will let you know once you give me your license, registration, proof of insurance.
Timmyboo
This goes on for a while, where she’s just like, not quite cooperative, like not handing over the item.
AUDIO
So why are you pulling me though? I’ll let you know when she’s giving me license. Why are you pulling me? I’m going to give you one more opportunity or you’re coming out of the car. I don’t mind stepping out of the car. I just want to know why you’re pulling me. No, I will pull you out of the car and put you in cuffs. You won’t pull nothing. License, registration, proof of interest. I want to know why you’re pulling me. Ma’am, license. If it’s the same thing, I’m taking you out of court for it already. So what are you pulling me for?
Timmyboo
Sounds like she’s already dealt with the cops over some traffic stuff. Probably the license plate issue.
AUDIO
License. Registration proof of insurance. Call your sergeant. License. Call your sergeant, please. Call your sergeant. Ma’am. Call your sergeant. Call your sergeant. Step out of the vehicle.
Timmyboo
Well, he told you this was going to happen.
AUDIO
Call your sergeant. Step out of the vehicle. Hey, listen.
Timmyboo
It’s almost her fault that she didn’t have her door locked, you know? The cop was just able to open up the door.
AUDIO
Put your motherfucking hands on me.
Timmyboo
– Slum you into the unit.
AUDIO
– Don’t put your hands on me. – Get outta here. – Don’t, you don’t have to do that to me.
Timmyboo
– You don’t have to do that. Well obviously he does. Now we just go full blown hysterical.
AUDIO
– Don’t put your hands on me. Get outta here. – Don’t put your hands on me.
Timmyboo
– All he needed was the drivers license and insurance.
AUDIO
– Y’all don’t have to slow me down. I just ask the simple questions. You don’t have to me. You don’t have to manhandle me, though. I asked him a question. Don’t manhandle me.
Timmyboo
Actions, I would like to introduce you to consequences.
AUDIO
Don’t ask a manhandle me. Don’t listen. Please get your hands the f*** off of me. Get your hands off of me.
Timmyboo
They’re not really doing anything to her. I mean, they handcuffed her and they’re like, he’s got his hand up against her back, pressing it up against the car.
AUDIO
I just asked a simple question.
Timmyboo
Yeah, that’s all that was happening here. You just asked a simple question. She’s mad because she thought she was going to be treated like a lady. We go.
AUDIO
We’re the female here to pay. He’s manhanding me like I’m a f***ing dude. I’m not a dude. I’m not a dude. Let my stuff go.
Timmyboo
What makes this clip really interesting is as the police are on the scene, getting ready to wrap things up, her entire family appears. I don’t know if they’re just walking back from the beach or something, but they see her car, they see this entire scene, and, well, get ready for more screaming.
AUDIO
Excuse me. Where’s my daughter? She’s in the back of the car.
Timmyboo
This woman, who’s apparently the mother of this lady, has no idea what’s going on. She immediately goes into screaming mode. Get your car and calm down.
AUDIO
If she comes over here, It’ll cause a disturbance. She’s going to be 10-15. You got to know, boy.
Timmyboo
We’re getting ready to arrest some more.
AUDIO
Hey, don’t come over here. Ma’am, do not come over here. Do not come over here. Do not come over here. I want to know where’s my daughter? We’ll come talk to you in a minute, but do not come over here. You will be arrested.
Timmyboo
You don’t know that. You don’t know what was going on in that car? Don’t stand over there, please. I have no idea what she’s saying. I think she said it’s an old woman’s car. You nasty. You nasty. Other family members include like three or four guys who are just standing in the middle of the road.
AUDIO
I’m not going to tell you to leave the area, but please stay on the sidewalk.
Timmyboo
So they refuse to move and then cars start honking because they’re in the way.
AUDIO
You’re obstructing traffic. That is a… Stand on the sidewalk, please. Stay out of the roadway. Can I talk to my daughter? Ma’am, I need you out of the road. Can I talk to my daughter? Stand on the sidewalk. Look, you’re obstructing traffic.
Timmyboo
The mother is just standing right in front of the car.
AUDIO
I’m giving you a lawful order. Step outside of the roadway, please. Give me my mama key. Please stay by the sidewalk.
Timmyboo
It’s just a lot of screaming throughout the entire video. Here is what I learned, though. This woman, you know, you have your little registration sticker, right, on your license plate. That was obscured, right? She had something around it that was blocking. So the police officer couldn’t see when the expiration of the tags were. That’s why she was pulled over. Come to find out, she didn’t even have expired tags. They were good. If she would have just handed over her fucking driver’s license, the cops would have checked that and she would have been on her way. Instead, she got charged with failure to obey and she had to pay like 500 and some dollars in fines.
AUDIO
You don’t have to manhandle me, though!
Timmyboo
I do like that term, manhandled. It’s kind of hot, isn’t it? Maybe that’s the gay in me coming out. Why won’t one of you just manhandle me already? All right, and with that, let’s get into the crazy, bizarre twist to the fucked up news right now. We have got some great holiday sideshow membership deals. If you’ve been thinking about signing up, now is the time to pull the trigger. We are Charlie Kirk! Okay, I know, enough. Charlie Kirk themed episode of DV. Yes, monthly memberships, yearly and lifetimes are all on sale. Just go to distortedview.com right now. save 22 to 33%. Those are some substantial savings. Become a true and honorable freak today, and you will grab tomorrow’s Sideshow exclusive episode. Again, for more information, check out distortedview.com. Other ways to support the show, we’ve got a Patreon account, patreon.com slash distortedview. Pledge $5 and get access to a special voicemail line where I will play your calls first. Yes, we’ve got some patrons checking in today. There is another way to help us out. You can sponsor an episode of Divi for only $25. Just paypal me show at distortedview.com. You can also go to paypal.me slash distortedview. Make sure to email me or add a message to your payment saying what your name is, how you want to sponsor the show. Kind of like how urethral fistula sponsored today’s show. Again, just paypal me $25 to show at distortedview.com. Okay, two very quick stories now. First up, what you need to know about acid enemas. As a card-carrying homosexual, there’s not much I won’t put up my butt. That being said, using a funnel to pour acid in my shitter might be one of those few things. Before I say definitively, though, I’m going to need more information. Like, what does this acid do? Does it eat away at, like, caked-up shit that has been encrusting your intestinal canal or something? I’d like a good clean-out. maybe I was too hasty saying I wouldn’t pour acid up my asshole. All right, medical reports and clinical analyses. Analysis. Underscore the severe health risks posed by corrosive enemas. See, even the term corrosive enemas, that does not sound appealing. Including rare instances of acid-induced colon injuries, health professionals warn. In a 1993 clinical case widely cited in medical literature, a 33-year-old man developed rapidly progressing life-threatening inflammation of the colon after administering a concentrated hydrofluoric acid enema while under the influence of cocaine. Well, that explains it. Kind of. I mean, cocaine makes you do all sorts of wacky stuff, sure. But what was he thinking? Why did he need the enema? Just because he was backed up? I know a lot of different drugs get you constipated. The exposure caused extensive damage to the lining of the rectum. Yeah, well, acid will do that in sigmoid colon. I didn’t even know that was a thing. Where’s your sigmoid colon? And how can I get to it with my penis? I’m always looking for new colons to explore. I’m a dirty little gay. All right. The exposure caused extensive damage to the lining of the rectum and sigmoid colon, prompting emergency surgery and removal of part of the large intestine. Weeks later, the patient required additional surgery to correct a resulting stricture, a narrowing of the colon caused by scar tissue. You know what might be able to fix that? More acid. It’ll dissolve that scar tissue right up. Hydrofluoric acid is known outside of gastrointestinal context for causing deep tissue burns and systemic toxicity. So that’s something you want to pour in your butthole. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah, so hydrofluoric acid causes deep tissue burns, systemic toxicity when it comes into contact with skin or mucous membranes, like your butthole, and even small exposure can disrupt electrolyte balances and lead to serious complications. While hydrofluoric acid enemas are extremely rare and almost exclusively documented in clinical case reports rather than news outlets, except here on Distorted View Daily, we make this shit our lead story. If someone puts something strange in their anus, distorted view will be there. Round the clock. Full team coverage. That’s my personal promise to you. Similar patterns of injury have been observed with other corrosive agents. Medical reviews describe chemical colitis, inflammation of the colon caused by harsh chemical exposure, resulting from substances introduced into the rectum. It’s always got to be dudes doing this, right? Gay guys. They’re just, you know what? Once you take a big fat nine-inch hug up your pooper, you kind of think you’re invincible down there. Like anything goes. Yeah, hydrogen peroxide, sure. Acids, disinfectants, Tide Pods, whatever. One clinical analysis detailed cases of colon inflammation following the use of hydrogen peroxide enemas, a practice that was once employed for difficult constipation, but has since been linked to painful inflammation, bleeding, and proctitis. I don’t know what proctitis is, but it’s a pretty name. My first baby boy is going to be named proctitis. Proctitis enema, Henson Jr. Most individuals do recover with supportive care, at least when it comes to the hydrogen peroxide enemas. Some experience significant complications, though. Health experts say the risk of chemical colitis range from mild irritation to full thickness injury. That does not sound good in relation to your butthole, right? I’m suffering from full thickness injury. And in extreme cases, may mimic symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease, such as abdominal pain, diarrhea, and rectal bleeding. Emergency medicine and toxicology specialists emphasize that no household or industrial corrosive substance should be introduced into the body via enema or any other non-medical route. Misuse of acidic or oxidizing agents can quickly lead to necrosis. That, of course, is just like the death of tissue. It just dies all around. Perforation of the bowel, sepsis, or chronic complications such as strictures. Clinicians and toxicologists advise that anyone suffering symptoms like severe abdominal pain, bleeding, or nausea after exposure to a harmful chemical, especially up the anus, seek immediate medical care. In general, care involves removing exposure, supporting vital functions, and treating the infection. So there you go. We’re always reading about, you know, people shoving weird stuff up their butt. This might be the most insane thing. Just pouring acid in there. Final story we have for you. It’s mid-December, which is always a fun time. Because there’s always the same end-of-the-year type articles. We cover a bunch here on the podcast. Usually Pornhub will release, like, their year in review. The top search terms. It’s always trans stuff in the South. Trans and black. Basically, the most hated groups of people are the ones rednecks want to fuck. They’ve got some stuff they need to work out. The article I have for you today, though, is from my home state. And it’s another one of these yearly things that the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles does. They compile a list of all of the vanity license plate requests that have been denied. And then they publish the ones they like the most. If you read an article from your state Listing some of the rejected vanity plates Send along those articles to me I’ll compile them We’ll do one big story maybe At the end of the year Ohio’s Bureau of Motor Vehicles Has turned down 891 requests For personalized license plates Yes, one of them was mine
AUDIO
You can now text distorted view daily It’s the Harry Con text line At 4 Harry Con It’s the 4th Harry Con texting line.
Timmyboo
It would actually work out pretty well, because I think vanity license plates can be, what, seven characters long? So it could be the number four H-R-Y-C-N-T. I wonder if anyone’s ever tried that. I should give it a shot, right? The annual rejected plate roll call has become a kind of accidental comedy list and at times a snapshot of the year’s cultural and political mood, with applicants submitting everything from potty humor wordplay, I’m raising my hand to inflammatory slogans I’m also raising my hand among the politically tinged requests cited in published reports felon 47 okay F 86 470 I guess it’s like fuck 86 is like get rid of 47 is Trump okay and then FDT Musk fuck Donald Trump and Musk okay you know those are too much of a thinker for me you can’t make these too hard to decipher. Then it’s dangerous, right? Because you’re driving. The BMV’s denial also included clusters of entries that leaned on misspellings, numbers, or leetspeak to try to sneak messages through. Reports on the 2025 list described a heavy share of plates built around bodily functions, drugs, and sex references. Ohio’s personalized plate program allows drivers to request custom character combinations within the length limits and other state rules. So, here are some more rejected plates. Poop sack. I have to pee. HV to poop. Have to poop. GTA. Gotta poop. Also heroin on meth, love meth, and no meth. Those were the drug themed rejected vanity plates. Some sexual plates that were denied include 69 LMAO, MILF, MBL. I don’t know what that stands for stroken i know what that is uh other plates include fat ass i’ll cut you slow ho and l8 af agn late as fuck again the ohio list circulated as the u.s supreme court declined on december 8th to take up a tennessee case involving a revoked vanity plate leaving states broad latitude to keep policing plate messages under their own system i guess the argument is you know I should be able to put whatever I want on my license plate because it’s a first amendment issue. And the Supreme court said, uh, no, by the way, the plate in question and that Supreme court case was a 69 PWN D you ponju for own ju you know, 69 ponju. Not even that sexual. It’s too little numbers. Come on. Uh, that my friends is your distorted news for Monday. Let’s check in with the freaks and then we will get the hell out of here.
AUDIO
Start sexting for Harry Cunt. Send those news for Harry Cunt. For Harry Cunt. For Harry Cunt.
Timmyboo
Yes, in addition to our voicemail line, you can now text us using for Harry Cunt. It’s a fun number to input. Yes, we’ve got some text here. This is from the 208 area code. I might be the only freak in Lord Douche’s corner because Tim is the kind of person that will cheap out on a home reno, but will wake up, quote, early to blow $500 on Nintendo games. Okay, I’ll take that criticism. No opinion on kitchen sinks, but animated when Taco Bell took away the Mexican pizza. Look, I’m passionate about the things I’m passionate about. Lord Douche is stuck raising a 14 year old. I had to double check and make sure this wasn’t Lord Douche texting. It does sound like some criticisms I would receive from Lord Douche. It’s not that I don’t have an opinion on countertops. It’s that I don’t have strong opinions on countertops. I’ll see stuff. I like a lot of things, right? You know, I’m just easygoing, right? So, you know, you show me 10 different countertops. I’ll like five or six of them. Lord Douche will stretch out this decision for five, six months. We’ll be going on road trips to look at countertops and stuff. You know, you just can’t pull the trigger. That’s why, you know, he gets insane when there’s time limits put in place. Because, like, you know, we’ve got to get this plumber to come in and rip out, you know, and replace the pipe. So we’re going to have to get new countertops. You know, you can’t wait forever on this. Area code 207 sent in a nude. Kind of. I don’t see any dick. But he is naked. He says, thought I looked good here for a 5’6 and 250 pounds. Yeah, I did not look. I don’t look that good at that weight. And I’m much taller than you. I don’t look good at the weight I’m at now. You know, originally I was like, okay, I’m going to get down to 200 or maybe 190 pounds. And that’ll be it. Which, by the way, it’s much harder now because it’s winter and I haven’t been doing my old lady walks or anything. So I shudder to get on that fucking scale. But that was the goal. But, you know, every time I do lose a little bit of weight, I’m like, I still look horrible. I’m thinking I’m going to have to get down to like 130 before I look like a fucking human being. I’m going to give me an eating disorder. But anyway, yes, you look great. I’m putting that photo in my spank bank. Would my listeners like that? Just knowing that, yeah, I’m going to jerk off to you. That’s the relationship I have with my audience. All right. A couple of voicemails here now. Yes. Oh, here we go. Yes.
AUDIO
Tim, I’ve been a Sideshow member for like, I don’t know, 15, 10 years or so. But I’m going to have to cancel my subscription because I’m going to sign up for a membership at the new distortedview.com.
Timmyboo
Nice. You faked me out there.
AUDIO
Yeah, Timmy Boo, your website update made me log into PayPal and cancel those sweet, sweet $50 I’ve been sending you since I was a teenager. All right, Timmy Boo, I love you. I hope your new site works. Well, it works great.
Timmyboo
It’s much easier to get the feed working with your podcast app because you don’t have to worry about usernames and passwords. you get your own personal feed. It’s linked to your account. So if God forbid you ever do cancel, that feed will just stop working. Do a couple more here. By the way, that was not a patron call. I, again, for some reason, the last two days I’ve been doing this, I accidentally play the wrong voicemail.
AUDIO
Hi, Jimmy Boo. It’s Mouthy Broad. Just checking in. I know how much you love proximity chat. I do. So in the event you’re looking for more content, either for the show or just for your own personal satisfaction, you should look up Ratgrave. There’s a lot of rumors that Ratgrave and Proximity Chat are the same person.
Timmyboo
Well, Proximity Chat has a very unique voice. Like, it’s deep and kind of monotone.
AUDIO
Ratgrave does a lot of VR trolling, which is oddly satisfying. Thank you for introducing me to Proximity Chat again.
Timmyboo
Oh, yeah, he does great work.
AUDIO
I could just watch this shit for hours.
Timmyboo
I know.
AUDIO
So rat grave, as in the animal and the thing you put near deads in. All right. Say love you. Bye.
Timmyboo
I’ll look up rat grave. Maybe tomorrow on the show we’ll play an example of rat graves work. I just, I pulled out my old, or my, what the fuck is that thing called? VR headset. And I swear to God, I threaten this all the time. I’m going to get in that VR chat and mess around.
AUDIO
Hi Jimmy Boo. Itchy Tank calling in. I’ve called to talk to you about prostitution. Yeah, how much are you charging these days? I’ve heard you’ve had to turn to taking trucks at the truck stop in order to pay for your renovations. No, I’m just kidding. I’m actually talking about myself. No, I’m not prostitute. I did think of a prostitute recently when I was in Toronto.
Timmyboo
So if I understand this correctly, in Canada it’s legal, right? So, like, I always forget that. And I’m like, I can’t believe Sagittarius is doing this and having guys come to her house. And it just seems, like, crazy. But I guess it’s legal. So, yeah, no big deal.
AUDIO
She had a condo, went up the condo. And the very first thing she said to me was, would you like a bottle of water?
Timmyboo
Now that is a good whore.
AUDIO
Oh, could Sagittarius Shorty not learn from that? That’s how you’re supposed to greet a John. You know, paying for a service. But, you know, just…
Timmyboo
It’s like those Uber drivers who always have, like, bottles of water or pop or little snacks or something to give to their people taking a ride, you know. It’s just nice.
AUDIO
Give them refreshments, you know. That’s how you get a five-star rating. Anyway, speaking of Sagittarius, I do have a theory. You know how her customers tend to be South Asian men? Yes. I wonder if it could be because a lot of South Asian men, they’re in like, be it like stinky food. I’m guessing her pussy reeks a bad curry. Maybe that has something to do with it. Just put that hypothesis out there.
Timmyboo
It could be. Also, is there any stereotype about the type of women that Indian dudes go for? Like, do they tend to like larger ladies? Larger white ladies? If you are Indian, please call in. I need to know exactly what you’re attracted to sexually. Thank you. All right, we’re going to end it right there. Guys, thank you so much for all the voicemails and texts. Keep them coming. That’s all the time we have on this edition of the show. I want you guys to email me. Show me at the story of you.com. Distortiveview.com is our official website. Voicemail line for you, 206-666-4463. That’s 206-66. Oh, God, is it? Oh, God. The lights are all, but ain’t about it home. Spread the distortion. STD. Tell all your friends about the show. Don’t forget to give us a five-star rating, a thumbs up, or like wherever you can rate and review podcasts. I’ll see you back tomorrow, if and only if you’re sideshow members. Don’t forget, the Distortive View store is open. Take advantage of today’s promo code. Again, that is latte, L-A-T-T-E. Pastor Manning’s favorite drink. He likes the semen lattes for the flavor, you see. $3 off all mugs today only in the Distorted View store, shop.distortedview.com. Again, if you’re not yet a side show member, sign up. Otherwise, I’ll see you back on Wednesday.
AUDIO
Until then, have a great day. Bye, everybody. that’s what we call the watermelon hole fill them pipes bitches this has been another excellent podcast from the Scrob Media Group. Learn more at Scribe.net.
