🎧 Distorted View Daily — Monday, January 5, 2026

Finger-Lickin’ Satan, Grok Goes Pedo, and Things America Put Up Its Ass in 2025

Hey freaks! A brand-new year kicks off with a fresh batch of demonic panic, AI depravity, religious hysteria, and America’s most cursed bodily decisions. Tim rings in 2026 by yelling at theater audiences, roasting Christian grifters, revisiting the darkest corners of AI “innovation,” and dusting off some painfully old DV audio that should probably have stayed buried.

🔥 Coming Up on Today’s Show:

Great Moments in 911 Calls: A Florida man gets his driver stuck in a swimming pool pump while the dispatcher can barely hold it together.
Theater Etiquette Meltdown: Singing along at Hamilton and Mamma Mia sparks public rage — and Tim weighs in on why no one wants to hear you perform.
Christian Influencer Panic Watch: YouTuber “The Bible Chick” exposes the demonic agenda behind:
- Magic 8-Balls
- The Kardashians
- Sabrina the Teenage Witch toys
- And KFC’s “Believe in Chicken” commercials (now apparently Satanic baptisms in gravy)
Mead Skelton’s 2026 Goals:
- Buying a suit
- Possibly growing a beard (communism pending)
- Attending Liberty University
- Kale no longer causes explosive diarrhea
- Imaginary wife updates
AI Goes Off the Rails (Again): Elon Musk’s Grok AI is back in the headlines after generating sexualized images — including minors — with minimal resistance. Reuters investigates while Musk laughs it off.
Kentucky Abortion Prosecution: A woman is charged with fetal homicide after using abortion pills obtained online, raising serious questions about enforcement, surveillance, and medical privacy.
2025 Retrospective: What Americans got stuck in their asses, vaginas, and urethras last year — straight from the Consumer Product Safety Commission database. (Light bulbs, baseballs, corn cob holders, and more.)
Vintage DV Audio Unearthed: Tim digs up cringe-inducing clips from the late ’90s, featuring teenage Tim, a high-school scandal, and one extremely regrettable public service announcement.

💸 Today’s Sponsor:

Jeremy — longtime freak and DV supporter — who asked for the oldest audio Tim could find and proved that $25 is not enough.

🛒 Support the Show:

Sideshow Deals: 33% off monthly, yearly, or lifetime memberships — last day!
DV Store: Final orders before closing — 20% off $50+ with promo code: AIDS
Sponsor an Episode: Just $25 via PayPal → show@distortedview.com
Patreon: Bonus perks, early voicemails, and exclusive access
Audio Gear for Sale: Mixers, mics, hardware, and random tech — email Tim for the spreadsheet

📞 Listener Voicemails:

Gender-swapping sneezes vs. fluorescent fart clouds
Crackly bowel movement ratings
Proof that Tim is not a scat freak (allegedly)

Spread the distortion, STD.
🎙️ DistortedView.com
📧 show@distortedview.com
📞 206-666-4463 (That’s 206-666-O-GOT)

Tomorrow’s episode is Sideshow Exclusive — sign up or miss out.

Our New PO Box Address!

Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236

Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463
Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page
Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow!