🎧Episode Summary

On today’s Distorted View Daily, Tim takes freaks on a chaotic midweek ride featuring shadow-based masturbation detection, electric car paranoia, prosperity preacher excess, and Florida once again earning its title as America’s most unhinged state. From Planet Fitness restroom gooners to a $12,000 water bottle disaster, this episode delivers maximum distortion with zero dignity.

Coming Up on the Show

The dark and forbidden art of shadow masturbating
A Planet Fitness bathroom incident that turns into a full-blown public trial
Heavy-vertation officially goes Hollywood
A prosperity preacher with private jets, massive homes, and unsolicited breast stories
Florida men doing Florida things (again)
No justice for the people who got pissed on
Plus: listener voicemails, texts, and a classic Distorted View deep cut

Featured Segments

🎵 Opening Audio

Trans legend Daisy Diamond delivers a beautifully broken rendition of “Chattanooga Choo Choo”

🚗 EV Anxiety Hour

Tim dives into electric vehicle paranoia after a news story reveals a spilled water bottle can allegedly destroy a Hyundai Ioniq 5
$11,000 in repairs, fried wiring harnesses, and why sand is apparently the real enemy
Bonus: Tim’s long history of terrible car decisions

🚻 Planet Fitness Goon Watch

A man is caught masturbating in a women’s locker room—exposed not by sound, but by shadow
Arguments over privacy, gender identity, FaceTime etiquette, and whether Taco Bell bathrooms are ever appropriate for self-love
The phrase “I was drying off” does a lot of heavy lifting

🎬 Heavy-Vertation Goes Hollywood

A new movie clip featuring what may be cinema’s first scripted heavy-vertation
Slurred weather forecasts, alien possession theories, and Tim officially putting the term on the big screen

✝️ Prosperity Preacher Madness

Deep dive into televangelist Jesse Duplantis, his 40,000-square-foot mansion, multiple private jets, and stories of women flashing him
Why his sermons sound more like stand-up routines for narcissists
Tim considers attending church… briefly

🌴 Florida Files

A man arrested at a construction site wearing lingerie, fake breasts, and a concealed firearm
The infamous rooftop bar urination case gets a legal update—still no justice for the victims below
Florida remains undefeated

🔌 CES Tech Nonsense

The FDA approves a taint-zapping patch—not for medical benefits, just safety
$299 for gooch tingles and “staying in control”
Technology has officially gone too far

DV Deep Cut

A classic 2015 clip revisiting The Other Sister
Diane Keaton, Giovanni Ribisi, and the birth of legendary lines like “Ocean’s Derpteen” and “Crippledee Williams”
Proof that Tim has always been his own biggest fan

Listener Interaction

Texts, voicemails, and emails from freaks weighing in on:
- Giant boobs without porn
- “Dusty rose” sweaters
- Zodiac compatibility
- Kitchen sink advice
- Banjo-Kazooie nightmare fuel

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Contact

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