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Using A Particle Accelerator on Pussy: The Science Of Clit Mapping

March 30, 20263 min read

🎧Episode Summary

🔥 Episode Highlights

  • Scientists finally map the full internal nerve network of the clitoris—and it’s way more complex (and unsettlingly described) than expected
  • A New Jersey man assaults the Easter Bunny… for scientific curiosity (?)
  • The Island Boys return, bringing awkward dating energy and incest baggage
  • A man casually masturbates at a Juggalo gathering in Ohio
  • Meet Heidi, an “inner child healer” who talks herself through life like a malfunctioning Care Bear

🧠 Main Stories

🧬 “Mapping the Depths”

Researchers have completed a 3D map of clitoral nerve structures, revealing a branching, dense “biological circuit board” of sensation.

  • Previously underestimated complexity
  • Could impact surgery, reconstruction, and gender-affirming procedures
  • Raises the obvious question: why did it take this long?

🐰 Easter Bunny Assault

A Pennsylvania mall incident turns weird fast:

  • Man questions whether the bunny is “real”
  • Proceeds to grope and violate the costumed employee
  • Charged with indecent assault

Reminder: Don’t grab holiday mascots. Ever.


👬 Island Boys: Dating Disaster

One half of the Island Boys attempts to find love on a dating show:

  • Opens with “I heard Asian girls have bad…” (you can guess)
  • Gets roasted about kissing his brother
  • Spirals into arguments about fake chains, height, and status

Result:
👉 No love found
👉 Plenty of secondhand embarrassment


🤡 Juggalo Ohio Madness

A glimpse into a sold-out Juggalo gathering in Columbus:

  • No ICP… just vibes
  • One attendee publicly masturbating on the ground
  • Crowd reaction: mixed confusion + threats of jail

🧸 Inner Child Therapy Gone Wrong

Meet Heidi, who practices “reparenting therapy”:

  • Talks to herself in the car before an interview
  • Reassures herself like a toddler
  • Somehow makes anxiety worse just by listening

🎤 Other Segments

  • Mead Update:
    Claims weight loss is due to eating less… and possibly ulcers (not Ozempic, he insists)
  • Listener Sponsorship:
    Sparkling Anus dedicates the show to Meef and his extremely graphic needlepoint art
  • Voicemails:
    • Office job adjustment struggles
    • A listener loses everything in a Ponzi scheme
    • Classic “Let the Eagle Soar” throwback

💰 Support the Show

Patreon access for priority voicemail playback

Sideshow Memberships (exclusive episodes weekly)

Episode sponsorships ($25 via PayPal)

Our New PO Box Address!

Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236



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