🎧 Episode Summary
Tim kicks off the week by inventing new ways to insult fat people, getting baited into a Perez Hilton sermon update, and wading straight into a gigantic acronym nobody can say without sounding like they’re having a stroke. Then things get weirder, with Harry Dresden breaking into a house, an armed standoff interrupted by a horny cop on a dating app, and enough egg talk to make breakfast feel like a threat.
🔥 Episode Highlights
- Death fat becomes the phrase of the day, because apparently body-positivity can still spawn language so brutal it circles back around to funny.
- Mead Skelton drops a Perez Hilton update, which gives Tim another excuse to roast Perez’s teary-eyed “found God” era.
- Tim dismantles the monster acronym MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+, then somehow makes it even longer just to prove a point.
🗞️ Distorted News
- Harry Dresden returns, complete with a creepy house break-in, a shovel-wielding homeowner, and a confused lunatic who thinks he’s a fictional wizard detective.
- The saga gets even better when old footage surfaces of the same guy yelling things like I am the Batman, I am the Jew, and I am the Lord at random crowds.
- A Riverside County deputy is caught on camera scrolling a dating app during an armed standoff, because apparently even police work now has a swipe-right problem.
- Tim’s answer to the whole thing is basically, if the guy in the car is going to do something stupid, the cop might as well multitask.
- AI Jesus gets the full treatment, because now you can apparently pay $1.99 a minute to talk to a digital savior while pretending that’s normal.
đź“ž Listener Interaction / Voicemails
- Robert Faggot returns to the show with a full dissertation on his Hamilton Beach egg maker, egg baths, spoon-peeling tricks, and the emotional consequences of soggy eggs.
- What starts as a voicemail about breakfast appliances turns into a full-blown egg podcast, which feels exactly like the kind of thing only this show could accidentally build a fandom around.
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