On Today’s Show:
🎙️ Distorted View Daily Show Notes – May 23, 2025
💥 Super Masturbation Bros. 3: Tootsie Rolls and Thermal Runaways
🧠 On today’s psychotic swerve into the weekend:
- 🎮 Super Masturbation Bros. 3: ArcticFox drops a 6-minute masturbation anthem to the tune of Super Mario Bros. 3—cum on the dash, the glass, the stove, and your dreams.
- 📱 Teenage Mutant Ninja Lesbian Meltdown: A woman goes nuclear over a busted Obama phone—threatening cops, screaming thumbprints, and demanding Helen’s arrest.
- 💻 TikTok’s Chromebook Challenge: Kids sticking mechanical pencil leads into school laptops to spark tiny electrical hellfire. One student now facing charges for third-degree arson. Worth it?
- ⚖️ AI Lawyer in Zoom Court: A sovereign citizen tries defending himself with a fake AI attorney. Judge is not amused.
- 🧃 Parole Violation Justified by Spice: A Florida man drinks a Corona to cool off after eating a Hot Chip. His parole officer? Unimpressed.
- 🥩 Testicle Tenderizing at Steakhouse: A woman dines and dashes at a fancy steakhouse before punching a cop in the nuts. Justice is served.
- 🍬 Diddy’s Tiny Candy Cane: New lawsuit compares the rapper’s penis to a Tootsie Roll. Nancy Grace and 50 Cent weigh in (one unwrapped candy, the other unwrapped mockery).
- 🧠 Galileo2333 Returns: Pedophile defender Galileo claims prisoners are secretly paid to beat up sex offenders. Totally not because people just hate pedophiles.
🎤 Plus:
- Tim sings another Wii Shop banger
- Calls for more financial content featuring “Doy-Doy Tim”
- Pokemon cards as investment strategy? Might be time to gamble your 401(k)
- Voicemails, Discord drama, and a musical tribute to gay horses
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| 00:00:00 | Introduction |
| 01:54:21 | Super Mario 3 Music Lyrics |
| 05:00:16 | Woman Loses Her Mind Over Her New Low Income Phone |
| 13:20:06 | Using AI Legal Representation |
| 16:26:11 | The Blow Up Your Chromebook TikTok Challenge |
| 22:32:16 | The Global Sexual Assauly Conspiracy w/ Galileo2333 |
| 26:25:20 | Subcribe To The Sideshow! |
| 28:24:13 | Violating Parole Because Your Mouth Was Too Hot |
| 31:51:07 | Steakhouse Nut Punch! |
| 35:21:06 | More On Diddy’s Tootsie Roll Midge Dick |
| 38:57:06 | Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending |
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