Today on the Show:
- Don’t mess with the Princess of Darkness—or her DID altars.
- A brand-new batch of dick queef (penis fart) audio research.
- Tourette’s TikTokers explain the delicate art of getting pierced mid-tic.
- A first date in Florida goes south when a sniff freak tries to run over his date after she won’t let him smell her feet.
- Plus: VRChat family roleplayers clash with Proximity Chat, Stephen Dawson AI laughs like Steve Urkel, and more listener-sponsored insanity.
Segments & Highlights
🎧 Proximity Chat vs. VR Families
- Chaos erupts when VRChat roleplayers claim parental rights over virtual children.
- DID, altars, and even the “Princess of Hell” join the argument.
- Tim dissects the absurd drama of protecting your “son” in a fake metaverse household.
💨 The Science of Dick Queefs
- Tim proudly continues his field research into the male equivalent of queefing.
- From bike pumps to enema bulbs, penis fart variations are catalogued.
- Meth smoke queefs = not healthy. Could this be the start of the Henson Puff era?
🤯 Neo-Pronouns, Tics & Piercings
- An influencer proudly uses Z/Zer and It/Its pronouns because “they sound cool.”
- Fake Tourette’s ticks conveniently vanish—except during TikTok recordings.
- Piercers allegedly work “around the tics” to avoid stabbing an eyeball. Sure, Jan.
🎤 Linda Finkel Hall of Fame
- A live performance of screamo-rap-Tourette’s fusion earns a place in the Hall.
- Audience members may be entitled to compensation.
🛒 Kroger’s Patriotic Alternatives
- Raccoon strips, TinaFed, Tweaker’s Choice speedoxin, and Dr. Crystal’s homeopathic crank.
- Corn-based everything: dentures, wigs, lingerie, and reusable cob wipes.
🌎 News From the Edge
- 🚗 Florida: Sniff freak runs over date after failed foot fetish proposal.
- ✂️ New York: Brazilian wax client freaks out when esthetician wears Meta smart glasses.
😂 Dawson Corner
- Listener sponsor Brit of a Cunt demands British-centric content.
- AI Stephen Dawson tries to replicate his infamous laugh.
- Real Stephen Dawson laugh compilation proves why the man is legend.
- Bonus update: UK pacifier thief returns, now harassing women for pre-sucked dummies.
Listener Voicemails
- Shit spectrum: Tim’s hemorrhoid-shredding hard turds vs. campers with parasite-induced watery shits.
- Puerto Rican stereotypes, old Toyotas with fancy rims, and wiping tips.
- Tim overshares about stool softeners and ass blood (you’re welcome).
Proximity Chat’s Newest Masterpiece:
Our New PO Box Address!
Distorted View
PO Box 36268
Cincinnati, OH 45236
- Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463
- Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page
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Podcast: Download
