🎧Episode Summary
On Today’s Episode:
- Martin Luther King Jr. Day Madness
- A deep dive into a long-lost viral clip featuring a racist white woman losing her mind on a Black mailman.
- She refuses to accept her own mail, drops multiple slurs, slaps the mailman, and somehow blames him for killing Martin Luther King Jr.
- Spoiler: the mailman loses his job, because of course he does.
- Tim admits his own shaky grasp of MLK assassination trivia while trying to untangle this woman’s unhinged racial “theory of everything.”
- Meade Skelton vs. Tim’s Mom
- Meade Skelton emails Tim to explain that his homosexuality is caused by a “toxic Jezebel” mother.
- The evidence? Tim’s mom once suggested a bird instead of a dog.
- Tim realizes this is personal: Meade is a bird guy.
- Bonus: classic clip of Tim’s mom telling a story that somehow turns into her shitting herself after an enema.
- Scrambled Egg Dick Farts
- A horrifying new EFUKT discovery: a man injects raw eggs into his penis, then pisses them into a frying pan.
- Includes the rare and majestic eggy dick fart.
- Tim goes on an egg-porn spiral featuring:
- Eggs shoved into assholes and cracked internally
- Sausage-and-egg shit breakfasts
- A “Hungry Femboy Ass Chicken Egg Salad Stuffin’” video that ruins potlucks forever
- Distorted News: Farts May Save Your Brain
- Researchers at Johns Hopkins Medicine find that hydrogen sulfide (the gas that makes farts smell like rotten eggs) may slow Alzheimer’s symptoms in mice.
- Lab mice exposed to the compound showed major improvements in memory and movement.
- The research appears in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
- Tim concludes we should all become “sniff freaks” until targeted drugs exist.
- Distorted View Gives a Shit
- A GoFundMe shout-out for listener David’s in-laws, whose home was destroyed in a fire while saving their infant granddaughter.
- Link provided in today’s show notes. Help if you can.
- Voicemails
- Advice on crushing pills for sick parents
- A $3,000 wedding success story vs. an $80,000 Disney wedding disaster
- Tim cites a $33,000 national average wedding cost and judges everyone involved
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A holiday episode packed with racism, religion, eggs, assholes, and the medical benefits of huffing ass gas. Happy MLK Day, Freaks.
Links:
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