🎧Episode Summary
On Today’s Episode:
- A deeply unsettling voicemail left on a masturbation enthusiast’s website somehow turns into a nostalgic piss-filled coming-of-age story.
- Sponsor spotlight: Chaz the Tandem Stacker pays $25 to reopen ancient Discord wounds and summon the ghost of listener drama past.
- Tim explains (again) why he refuses to referee crybaby Discord meltdowns and why threatening to cancel your Sideshow membership is not the power move you think it is.
- Andrew Tate re-emerges to remind the world he’s “too smart for books,” while angrily yelling about how rich and intelligent he is.
- Tate also accidentally becomes a thought leader in trans discourse by posing the most important philosophical question of our time:
Megan Fox with a dick… or Hulk Hogan with a pussy? - A mean-girl TikToker named Cade goes on a drunken, Ozempic-fueled, fat-shaming meltdown, gets flagged for “dangerous weight loss behavior,” and absolutely spirals.
- Jesse Lee Peterson conducts what may be the most uncomfortable interview ever recorded, repeatedly asking a Jewish guest to explain whether Jews “Jew people down.”
- Jesse also explains why Black stereotypes are “true,” learns nothing, and somehow keeps talking.
- A Christian singer with the vocal tone of a sentient amphibian praises Jesus like he’s broadcasting from another dimension.
- AI strikes again as a federal nutrition website routes users to Elon Musk’s Grok chatbot — which promptly recommends the safest foods to shove up your ass.
- Government-approved rectal produce rankings include bananas, cucumbers, zucchini, and a helpful reminder to carve a flared base.
- A repeat offender in the UK is sentenced to more prison time after — shocker — masturbating on trains again just days after being released.
- Tim offers unsolicited advice on how not to aggressively stare at women while cranking your hog in public.
- Listener texts cover hating children, bad math tutorials, counting how many times Tim has said the N-word over 26 years, and a passionate hatred of words ending in “-ed.”
- Voicemails feature fake Unicorn Hamsters, depressed laughers, zipper hoodie reviews, bro-hug negotiations, and a perfectly timed “Hello, faggot” to end the segment.
Plus:
- Sideshow signup reminders
- Patreon perks
- Sponsorship info
- The 4HairyCunt text line
- A renewed call for horny, borderline-illegal Harry Cunt jingle lyrics
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