Eat That Pussy Like a Krispy Kreme

July 1, 20264 min read

Tim

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Eat That Pussy Like a Krispy Kreme

The Garbage Man Wants Your Pussy • Krispy Kreme Cunnilingus • Concert Seat Catastrophes

Today’s episode begins with Tim pulling back the curtain on one of Tainted Broth’s most beloved songs. You’ll hear the hilariously awful “human demo” that eventually became A Whole Raw Load, proving that sometimes artificial intelligence really is smarter than the guy behind the microphone. The experiment continues as Tim feeds one of DV’s classic constipation monologues into AI—with surprisingly spectacular results.

Then it’s time to meet an apartment dweller who firmly believes the maintenance crew is secretly obsessed with her. What starts as two exhausted painters taking a lunch break on the grass quickly spirals into accusations of stalking, intimidation, Albanian conspiracies, and Yelp terrorism. As if that wasn’t enough, Tim uncovers another video featuring the very same woman, this time accusing garbage collectors, police officers, and apparently every man within city limits of sexual harassment. Somewhere in all of this, the trash still isn’t getting picked up.

Next, an elderly theater patron melts down in spectacular fashion after becoming hopelessly confused by an elevator ride. A poor usher desperately tries to help while the woman reacts as though she’s been abandoned in an underground maze with no hope of escape.

Before the news, Tim introduces the newest Linda Finkel Hall of Fame contender: Soka Samuel the Red Indian, whose musical career appears to revolve almost exclusively around passionately performing songs about eating pussy like it’s a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.

Distorted News

🚗 Uber Ride Ends With Coffee, Screaming… and Autism?

An Uber trip in Australia explodes into chaos when a driver refuses to cancel a ride, passengers refuse to leave the car, coffee allegedly starts flying, and insults escalate into one woman claiming the confrontation is “giving me autism.” Uber is now investigating the bizarre viral incident.

💩 Noah Kahan Has One Simple Request

Singer-songwriter Noah Kahan is begging fans to please stop defecating in concert seats after a fan allegedly relieved themselves during one of his shows instead of making the trip to the restroom. Tim examines the disturbing trend of concertgoers wearing diapers rather than risking missing their favorite songs.

Also This Episode

Why AI deserves forgiveness… at least when it sings about constipation.
The dangers of taking a lunch break within eyesight of a crazy person.
The vacuum cleaner repairman apparently saw somebody’s boobs.
Why garbage collectors don’t have time to sexually harass anyone.
The return of another unforgettable Linda Finkel-worthy musician.
A Sniffies chatroom offers some truly questionable HIV prevention advice.
Listener calls about homemade beef jerky businesses, attractive celebrities, and whether Tim has finally caught World Cup fever.