Distorted View Daily Show Notes – July 25, 2025
🎉 It’s National Orgasm Week, Freaks!
Celebrate your right to moan with 50% off at AdamAndEve.com. We’re talking vibrating nipple clamps, Newton’s Cradle-inspired cock rings, and whatever future-sex gizmos are now USB-chargeable. Use promo code FREAK to turn your nips into pleasure batteries.
On Today’s Episode:
- ✝️ The cult behind The Family International releases a wholesome children’s puppet show featuring:
- A robot with real human-like breasts
- Children licking bloody wounds
- Puppet grandpas who enjoy “gifts” in the form of long mouth kisses
- Casual child fireplay and open invitations to spankings
- And yes… a sexbot serenade
- 🐭 Chuck E. Cheese commits wire fraud while still wearing the mouse head
- 🐊 A man goes full John Wick on an alligator who dared steal his fishing lure
- 🧠 The IQs drop to single digits as The Fresh and Fit podcast hosts try to Holocaust-splain
- 🚨 Police bodycam captures the arrest of a twitching meth mess who insists the cops “don’t have permission” to arrest her
Distorted News Highlights:
- Florida Man strikes again—twice! First as Chuck E. Cheese, then with a vengeance-fueled golf club gator beatdown
🎤 Listener Voicemails:
- The cult nostalgia train continues thanks to Haley’s Comet
- How many symbols can we cram on one pride flag?
- Should Tim legally change his name to Timmy Boo? Spoiler: it’s financially negotiable
- One freak calls out the podcast industry’s Nazi grift economy
🎶 Musical Finale:
As a special treat for today’s show sponsor Double D, we present Cortado del Trenta’s full-length cover of Sherebra Venti’s banger “Out Now” – a beautiful ballad of milky seed, roast beef sleeves, and pussy overheating like a ’93 Corolla in August.
Sponsor Shout-Out:
A huge thanks to Double D for 17 years of DV loyalty! Sponsored segments and titty talk by listener request. Want your name (or an alias) featured on a future episode? PayPal Tim at show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview.
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- Listener voicemails played FIRST
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Closing Thoughts:
If you’re not popping dogs in the ass, are you even a cop?
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