On Today’s Show:
- Mourning the loss of another beloved U-tard: King Cobra JFS has passed away
- A religious drummer goes rogue and turns praise music into a personal drum solo
- A hot dog–costumed woman takes revenge with toilet paper
- An IHOP waitress moonlights as a lesbian predator on the job
Episode Sponsor: Thanks to Haley’s Comet for sponsoring today’s stupidity and praising DV’s commitment to hard-hitting “porn news journalism.” Want to sponsor? Just $25 via PayPal at show@distortedview.com.
🎶 Musical Oddities
- Tim revisits Pure Hypochondria, marking its one-year anniversary—stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, and beyond.
- Opening track: Semen Latte, inspired by Pastor Manning’s Starbucks rant and a true DV classic.
🪦 RIP King Cobra JFS
- DV pays tribute to the legendary YouTuber known for his drunken mead-making, Taco Bell devotion, and bizarre live streams.
- Audio highlights include Cobra’s “deathbed” complaints, Taco Bell philosophy, and his ill-fated relationship with Jessica Messica.
- Cause of death? Possibly bad homemade booze… or just Cobra being Cobra.
🎤 Cringe Performances
- Corey Feldman mangles Stand By Me with Jerry O’Connell.
- A church band’s drummer hijacks worship to bang for Christ like Animal from The Muppets.
🚔 Cop Cam Chaos
- Body cam footage captures two unruly women who insist “you’re not going to arrest us.” Spoiler: they are arrested.
- One claims to be an Attorney General, demands body cams be shut off, flees, cries, then demon-screams.
- Fallout: Rhode Island’s AG office suspends her without pay for the outburst.
🍳 Florida Follies
- IHOP Predator: A waitress in St. Petersburg harasses and gropes a 51-year-old woman mid-pancake run.
- Hot Dog Revenge: A drunk woman in a wiener suit vandalizes her neighbor’s car with toilet paper.
📞 Listener Voicemails
- Freak commentary on slow-witted stadium workers, Gary Puckett’s creepy collab dreams with Mead Skelton, and Unicorn Hamster scouting Sniffies hookups.
- Tim reminisces about childhood cereals: Cookie Crisp, Smurf Berry, PB Cap’n Crunch, and more.
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Closing Thought:
“You’re not going to arrest us.”
— Every drunk woman ever, right before being handcuffed.
VIDEO: King Cobra Tribute
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