🌿 Show Sponsor
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🎙️ On Today’s Episode
- Frankie the Antisemitic Vampire:
Frankie McDonald rises from the dead—fangs in, brain out—as he delivers what might be the most unholy weather report ever recorded. Tim gives his take on “cancelled Frankie” and imagines what his antisemitic vampire manifesto might sound like. - Sagittarius Shawty vs. the Johns:
Your favorite plus-size Canadian escort is back with another tale of canceled clients, scam accusations, and sexual restrictions galore. Tim analyzes her customer service skills (or lack thereof) and gives a hilarious “how to be a better prostitute” masterclass.
🐰 Featuring: the infamous rabbit that’s always “shitting everywhere” and why Sag refuses to offer water to guests. - Hate Preacher Meltdown:
From an Indianapolis pulpit comes a fiery sermon that starts with Jesus and ends with homicidal homophobia. Pastor Stephen Falco declares war on “zombies and faggots” while professing his deep love for children a few too many times. Tim speculates on his inevitable Dateline future and nominates him for “Predator of the Year.” - Animal Cruelty Monday!
Two stories of wildlife gone wrong:- A California man accused (wrongly?) of decapitating a sea lion and carrying off the head in a bag.
- A black swan nicknamed “Mr. Terminator” wreaks havoc on Stratford-Upon-Avon’s iconic mute swans, forcing authorities to relocate him.
Tim explores the racial politics of swans, Shakespeare’s possible involvement, and plays the “black swan enters the pond” sound effect.
- DV Hotline Calls:
Listeners report booger-eating on public buses, Meade Skelton’s bowel updates (“feeling better!”), and Tim’s ongoing gym membership saga—complete with government conspiracy theories about the death of the “Easy Cancel” bill.
💬 Sponsor Shoutouts
DV Listener “Your Little Honey” – Today’s episode is sponsored by the Canadian queen of classy chaos herself. Requested “Canadian content,” so Tim delivered with Sagittarius Shawty, Frankie McDonald, and a side of maple-flavored filth.
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