On Today’s Show:
Sponsor: Good Feels THC-infused seltzer — use promo code FREAK for 20% off at shop.getgoodfeels.com (21+)
| 00:00:00 | Get 20% Off! Promo Code Freak – Shop.GetGoodFeels.Com |
| 00:16:07 | Introduction |
| 03:01:13 | Mom Made It Through Her Surgery – BUT AT WHAT COST? RIP Diane Keaton |
| 04:29:22 | Mom’s Last Meal – KFC: Featuring A Slobbering Ghoul |
| 12:07:03 | Cleveland Clinic Observations |
| 17:10:00 | My Brother’s Extra Hole Revelation |
| 22:47:14 | DV Listener Sponsor: Brokeback Listener |
| 24:01:19 | Did A Teach Sing A Racist Birthday Song To A Black Student? |
| 29:13:11 | THC/Cannabis Infused Seltzer – Get 20% Off – PROMO CODE: FREAK / Shop.GetGoodFeels.Com |
| 30:37:13 | Sign Up For The Sideshow! |
| 31:55:00 | When Winning The Lottery Goes Wrong |
| 37:35:18 | Police Stand Off Ends With An Ice Cream Party!!! |
| 41:33:05 | DV Listener Sponsor Request – Acting Out His One Page Play |
| 45:51:20 | Voicemails / Ending |
- Which one of Tim’s siblings has a… bonus hole?
- Why winning the lottery might be the fastest way to wreck your life
- A police standoff settled with a Dairy Queen Blizzard
- “Helping a duck get away with murder” (a dramatic reading!)
- Voicemails galore
Cold Open / Soundboard Chaos
A vintage-style talk-radio mashup veers into conspiracy screeds, culture-war nonsense, and extremely ill-advised “solutions,” before we kick into DV proper.
Tim’s Life Update: Mom & the KFC Gauntlet
- Patricia update: Successful thyroid/lymph node surgery at Cleveland Clinic (huge relief). Big kudos for their signage, workflow, and real-time status board/text updates.
- Rant: Cleveland Clinic eateries = wall-to-wall “zero sugar” sodas, while everything else is sugar bombs. Make it make sense.
- KFC mobile order hell: Tim vs. “ghost-town” staffing, a mobile order held hostage behind the counter, and the frailest customer in Ohio wheezing through the lobby. Tim’s patience (and germ avoidance) are tested; the chicken ultimately reaches Patricia.
Family Waiting-Room Confessional: “Bonus Hole” Brother
- Craig casually drops: “Dad said I was born with a tail… also I kinda have an extra hole.”
- Tim Googles live on the scene: likely sacral dimple (usually harmless if shallow; red flags if deep, draining, painful, or hairy). Possible pilonidal situation if it’s a deep pit; worth a doctor’s look.
- Tim really wants to “examine” the evidence; nearby stranger nopes out of the conversation.
DV Listener Sponsorship: A One-Page Play
Sponsor: “Brokeback Listener” (long-time DV degenerate since 2008)
Bit: Tim performs “Rogering Mrs. Rabbit” as Timmy Hopps with Rodder Pay portraying Lord Duck.
Premise: Love, crime, and a three-foot murder weapon in a shrub. Also: moral calculus between a promised BJ and a $1.5M reward. Theatre is alive and well, unfortunately.
Today’s News Buffet
- The Curse of Sudden Riches
A UK scratch-off winner hits ~£1M+, quits the job, parties nonstop, and ends up hospitalized with bilateral pulmonary emboli. Near-death wake-up call → vows to rebuild routine and health. Tim’s advice: if you “only” win ~$1–2M, live below your means and keep structure. - DQ Diplomacy
Washington state: an arson suspect on meth leads cops on a chase, then demands Dairy Queen as a surrender condition. Negotiators deliver a Blizzard + burger (by robot!), and the standoff ends. Tim’s take: if you’ve got leverage, aim higher than soft-serve.
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